The "Airing Dirty Washing" thread made me wonder about this. When you're just getting to know someone and starting to date, or thinking about dating, what do you enjoy talking about/learning about? What do you want to hear from them?

I am interested in all the details of his life seriously. Probably way too much.

I enjoy talking about outside interests like sports, music, camping, hiking, cycling, etc. I always wanted to make sure the person was active physically and also had their own interests so I wouldn't be attached at the hip to the guy.

It is always exciting to find a man who has other interests and an interesting life.

Advice for guys: Be interesting. Don' fixate on the woman you are trying to impress. It makes them nervous.

I don't mind hearing about their past as long as It's rational, shows growth and acceptance.
We are part of all that happens in our lives.
If they can own their failures, learn from them.....then Yes, I wanna hear all about it.
If they just wanna complain and blame others....I'm Gone!!!
I am way more interested in finding out what she is passionate about in life. What her goals are, where she is headed as opposed to where she has been.
And of course....always looking for common interests!!

music I am always comfortable with that - cars computers - sports to some extent - more fitness & wellness and sports he & I have played rather than - say the latest NBA stats

places we've been in our life - travels - general attitudes & opinions on things mundane

the bizarre things that make up everyday life but they are so common place that people have forgotten how insane they are..... like Walmart at Christmas for example.

So stuff about his life is bound to come out as we talk about this stuff...and if little by little we reveal more to each other I would prefer that be as part of an intention that the relationship is going to develop - intimately or as a close friendship

rather than random reciting - like a history lecture


if any of this makes any sense

Yep as it tells me he is open to new things. Other than that I would think he is a couch potatoe that watches tv and I would be bored. As for my past; I woudn't divulge to much about my dating experiences as really that is very private to me.

I don't talk much about my past. I do like to talk about painting, art, tarot cards, movies.

Yeah, I am the same way about my past. I probably would talk about renos, and I have talked to guys about the best power tools to buy. Funny, how that topic surfaces alot but they go hand in hand with the reno talk I guess.

I like to talk about ridiculousosity.

After that, their view on children, life etc plus their life story.

Anything that shows me he can think without stereotypes. I'm a little weird myself, so if I can get the message that he's nonjudgmental, I'm going to be much more comfortable with him. I do want to know about his life and feel free to tell him about mine, but not much of that will happen on the first date or two, unless we get lucky. I enjoy philosphy and literature, so those are good places to start for me, but I want the guy to show that he doesn't just live in his head. Lots of different subjects turn me on. Really the best vibes come when you find that you and he share two or three interests, as well as an attitude toward life.

I was happy to talk about anything, whatever helps me understand who a person is..

The absolutely most important question I could ask a potential mate.

Do you prefer that your toilet tissue unwinds over or under the spool.

Everything else is just extra.

After that though, If we are speaking about just me, I usually like to talk about music, find out her tastes and opinions and then move on into topics on art, cinema or theater. But more often than not, I usually just discuss what it is that drew me to her and convinced me to start talking to her. After all, it has to be something I myself am interested in, thus we already have something in common to share.

Humm myself I like to talk about a little of everything.... Whether it be about the weather or the things we like to do or would like to do...

I can basically agree with this & I like what u said - I think the comfort level is either there or it isn't - is what it is -

I also prefer to wait to see where things are going before revealing a lot

a shared general attitude toward life can be everything

This was GOOD,,,clever,,,YES YES,,,

I just want them to talk!

Seriously, I can learn something about woman regardless of the topic. I'm sure she can do the same with me. If the conversation is going nowhere, then the date - or the interest in having a date - is a dud.

If I don't like the topic of conversation, I'll try to steer the conversation away from it. I'm sure she might do the same. If that's all we keep doing, then sooner or later, we'll both fall silent knowing that it just isn't working.

Even if the conversation is great, and we both have fun, we might just decide that we're not a good match anyway. So, it's not about what I want to hear - that wouldn't be keeping it real. If I am trying to impress her because then I'm not acting like myself. For the same reason, I don't want her to go out of her way to impress me. Just keep it real, and see where it goes.

Even if the conversation is great, and we both have fun, we might just decide that we're not a good match anyway.


^I so agree with what you said here actionlynx! I have had a couple dates where the conversation was fine - went fairly smoothly but there was still no "sparky" dog barkin'

so there has to be more than just the conversation

I like to carry on as if we have been friends for a while. The real you comes out this way.

So you tend to hold back who you really are, or at least what you are willing to tell him until after the second date to see where it's going?