Why do we keep trying to find love? It is the cruelest emotion.A double edged sword that overtakes common sense, leaving you wondering what the hell just happened? Then you eventually drag your heart out of the mud and end up going right back at it again. Why? Is love like the holy grail? On your death bed you finally realize that you wasted many years of your life searching for something that was never there? Why do we do it?

I don't know if thinking 10 negative steps down the road is the healthy way to be about.

Can I just say maybe thinking that way is deterring the chance at opening your heart and truly meeting some nice people? They do exist, doesn't matter how many times you get burned, and I have been burned many times. Being nice does pay off. It sure beats being single and writing poetry about it.

It's because when we do have love, it is the most amazing thing in the world

Oh yeah, I know that feeling all too well.

This is true.

I keep finding myself, once it's over, asking why I even bothered. Because the bottom line is always more negative than positive.

Maybe it's because the ultimate negative experience always comes at (or is) the end.

So I guess the ideal is to find something that doesn't have to end. I'm not really sure how realistic that is.

I feel it is very realistic. I also feel that the longer it takes to find "the one", the reward will be worth it. I feel like giving up on occasion, but I know if I hang in there, it will come to me. All of those before now, were simply in my life to teach me what I do and don't want in a relationship.

I'm in hopes,,that at that time,,there on my death bed,,I will have already met and lost,,the one who showed me she was my heart,,or,,have her beside me,,letting me go,,knowing her love presently expressed in all of her love for me..
And to NOT SEEK LOVE,,OF JUST ONE,,,is to have just fked your life away w/o wanting MORE from sharing intimacy with each other?
I've had THAT, and didn't care if they wanted more or if I wanted more,,one night stands,, where we used each other..That was COOL,,no problem...Now, I know that there is MORE to life than SEX..
And that void of companionship within your heart everyday.
Thats a link I would die, to know I found,,even AT my end,

Love is much more than a bunch of one night stands. It is the joy of the smile and looking into the eyes of the person that you get when you see each other. It is the joy you have doing things with each other, the giving and shring of life. The closeness you fell when you are inimate. It is being together in the good times and bad. It is an adventure with much give and take. It is always knowing that the person you love is always there for you and you for them. You just haven't found it yet.

We search for love for the same reason
the flowers reach up to the sun.
Instinct.
Awe.
Need.
Fulfillment.
A reason to be.

Beautifully said.

I think we just miss the love we already have searching for physical and intimate love. WE have been brainwashed into thinking its a requirement so we keep striving for it and often are left feeling no less empty or unloved than we were before, and sometimes are left feeling less loved.

I think the key is to love our self and appreciate the love that is already in our life through our non intimate relationships(Friends, family,,etc,,,)


it sets us up for less disappointment, without requiring us to give up on love altogether


you wont miss it if you change your attitude about it and focus on whats already in front of you,,,

I don't know why! Why can't I find my true love?

Why? Because we're neither dead nor (completely) dead inside yet.

Can't say I could even be bothered to search for love. My search is for my purpose in life. I came to that relization long ago that searching for love was a waste of time so instead I am just enjoying it solo.

Agree!

Speak for yourself.

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”

Woody Allen

That. In scientific terms, a bit of a Pavlovian reaction, a bit of a congenital predetermination. The congenital one is that you know you'll feel good, and when you do, you are hooked on the first hit, this is the Pav one.

Also, we have too much time on our hands. We have jobs, or whatever, but basically we spend time on how nice it would be to be screwing. Other community members in other communities in other cultures in other economic millieux, think how nice it would be to have a bowl of rice, or how nice it would be to get the Pashah off my back (literally).

This is all relative. We, humans, are predetermined to feel happy sometimes, and to feel unhappy or at least unsatisfied at other times.

You say then how come there are the depressed people. Well, happy-unhappy alternation is biochemically determined, although not simply as a function of time, but largely. Then there are people whose biochemical cycles favour the unhappy phases, by sheer misfortune, due to being farther removed from the norm toward the unhappy deviation. My uncle, on the other hand, is a happy man, although he was to Auschwitz, saw his old man die from thyphus, he was tortured, beaten, starved, not let sleep on a daily basis, he almost died at the end, and that ended at his age 20. Then in no time he became an extremely happy person, he never dated or married anyone, because he was so happy. He's eighty-nine, and he is becoming just now a bit unhappy, coz all his buddies and friends have died, and he can't make new ones, coz he is almost completely deaf. But he drives, he cooks, he has dinner parties at his house, he travels to all destinations of the world, around 5 to 7 times each year. He is energetic, happy, and I think good for him. He's just lucky to be at the other end of the deviant scale of feeling happy. The normal person is sometimes happy, sometimes not, and his base mood is okay, too.

Try death. While not guaranteed it's never going to end, it's your best shot at immortality (never ending experience) at this point in time.

Why not?