Death is a tough thing to deal with. I do believe in the after life.

Sorry for your loses. I know these feelings all to well. I've learned that life here is just part of the whole picture and there are many chapters to the process. Looks like your learning a lot these days, life, love. Glad you have chosen us as part of your family.

Thank You. I'm starting to think joining Mingle was the best idea my friends ever came up with.

I believe in heaven and all that, although the idea of my mother watching me everyday is a bit scary, but I was thinking more along the lines of life after death for those of us who are left behind.

Takes a while to get use to it. I'm not sure I'm use to it yet.

I'm currently reading a book called, Sweet Temptation and I've gotten to the part where one of the heroines loses her mother to cancer... And this is where I'm tempted to stop reading because not only can I not stop crying, but I'm dreading the happily ever after of her finding life after death.

Which brings me to this:
1. Five years ago, I lost my mother and then five more members of my immediat family during those five years. I've found that everytime I hear or even read about death, whether real or in the pages of a book, I take it very personally, as if it's happening to me all over again. Does that happen to anybody else?

2. Is there life after death, and how does one go about obtaining it? I'm not talking about merely existing, but living in every sense of the word.

I'll leave it at that because I'd hate to start sounding like a whiner, but just out of curiousity, who has loved and lost and is now trying to live again?

I'm currently reading a book called, Sweet Temptation and I've gotten to the part where one of the heroines loses her mother to cancer... And this is where I'm tempted to stop reading because not only can I not stop crying, but I'm dreading the happily ever after of her finding life after death.

Which brings me to this:
1. Five years ago, I lost my mother and then five more members of my immediat family during those five years. I've found that everytime I hear or even read about death, whether real or in the pages of a book, I take it very personally, as if it's happening to me all over again. Does that happen to anybody else?

2. Is there life after death, and how does one go about obtaining it? I'm not talking about merely existing, but living in every sense of the word.

I'll leave it at that because I'd hate to start sounding like a whiner, but just out of curiousity, who has loved and lost and is now trying to live again?

I loved and lost 34 years ago. You never get over it but it becomes tolerable.

Thank You. I'm starting to think joining Mingle was the best idea my friends ever came up with.

I believe in heaven and all that, although the idea of my mother watching me everyday is a bit scary, but I was thinking more along the lines of life after death for those of us who are left behind.

I loved and lost 34 years ago. You never get over it but it becomes tolerable.

Just my take on it doll.....


This one life we got is to be lived and enjoyed right now. We will all deal with death and what comes after later on. That book you are reading honestly sounds depressing.

Every last one of us has loved and lost BabyDoll. The question becomes, do we cling to a ship that has sunk or do we make a consious effort to live today to it's fullest without the past dragging us down?

I don't know for a fact but, I sincerely believe that the dead would want us to enjoy our lives as much as we can.

When I lose the people I love, I try to celebrate their life rather than morn their death. I believe, that, everyone I have loved and lost lives on through me and the happy memories we shared. The beauty of their life always over shadows their death for me.

Yes, there is life after death for those left behind.....My father passed on August 25th this year ...three months ago.....He was 90 so of course that makes it easier to understand and accept, he lived a long, productive, happy life...Was my relationship with my dad perfect?...No...Was it positive?...Yes, very...
His death is not a ball and chain that drags me down, for me that would be an invalidation of his life..When he was living, he built a platform just for me. Every single day something triggers a memory, a thought, or a feeling that I can relate to my dad...Every day the platform he built for me becomes a little stronger, a little higher, a little better...Thank you daddy....

I don't know for a fact but, I sincerely believe that the dead would want us to enjoy our lives as much as we can.

it's been 8yrs since i lost my father and nephew within 2weeks...
I never get over it, it only become tolerable for me now.

Kruppa, I too believe this statement, but this is where I am having trouble. I know Rick would want me to be happy, living life to the fullest, and letting no one hurt me. But my catch 22 is that everything in the past four years that brought me my greatest joy was something we did together. I am not sure I know how to find that again without him. I know I have to re-learn this stuff. I love hockey, yet every time I have gone to watch a game I am always looking for him over by the penality box. Every tv program we watched together brings tears to my eyes. What is the point of comming up with a witty comeback, a gracefull slap-stick stumble or a side splitting joke if he is not here to share it with? And yet, I am also hurting that I have let him down by still being sad. Again I am a disapointment to someone. OP I wish I could help or offer a suggestion, but right now I am in the same boat.

Unfortunatly in this society we live in, grieving = loss and loss = not being worthy. It is almost like being an untouchable in other countries. Shunned and even more alone with nothing but thoughts of your lost loved one. People tell me, get out, socialize, do something. Who has the time or money these days? I sure do not. So what now? Picnic at the park feeding the geese? Great, a romantic picnic without your loved one with you. (LOOSER) How about a comedic movie? Sitting all alone and no one to elbow when the jokes are too lame. (Looser sitting alone in a theatre, where is the long raincoat?) Volunteer at a retirement home,read to the elderly. ( Sure and get attached to someone else that will leave you when they die?) Hell I can't even go to the grocery store without thinking of Rick. His favorite foods or the ornery things we did while shopping. Shoot, I can't even be in the frozen foods section without crying. People think I am nutz. God if only there was a switch to turn this emotional stuff off I would be eternally gratefull.

So untill that switch flipps off of its own accord, I mingle, do my school work and work till I fall asleep in my chair.

In three years I lost 14 family and friends to death..some were a natural process of living, some were taken way to young. I still grieve for them..still ask all the usual questions, why did it happen? Why am I still here when they were taken. The only way it makes any sense is to believe that their lives weren't in vain..they were here for a reason. Each one of us has something to give another person. We may not know what it is at the time, but we all affect the people we come in contact with. For me, I'm learning to appreciate each day I have with someone, to thank God that they are still in my life. The hardest thing was learning to laugh again. I try now to laugh everyday, to hug the people around me and to tell them I love them, unconditionally.