Oh god some of what is dumped on us on the silver screen lately has been an atrocity in creativity. There are some great movies to come out but here let us list current movies that stank up the theater!

In a previous post I mentioned Apollo 18 which I had seen last night. WHO LET THE SKUNKS OUT???? Pew, pew, pew!

Also I will nominate Babel. Three different story lines all revolving around a gun. This had a thick anti Gun sentiment to it as well as a very confusing social commentary about the human condition.

Happy Feet. When a 10 year old complains that the movie was preachy says a lot. The tree hugging "fishing is bad, and humans are heartless" message dripped from this stinker of a feature length movie. On top of that one thing I found extremely offensive was Happy Feet NEVER gets his adult plumage and it appears to be the same in Happy Feet II. Shame on the Animators for thinking so little of the audience's intelligence.

Blair Witch. I could not get past the first half hour. This was one case of massive over hype. The movie sucked on so many levels. All it was to me is nothing but terrified teenagers running in all directions from some unseen terror and runny noses! Ed Wood tried intentionally to make bad movies. This one was intentionally HORRIBLE! This one smelled so bad it would make a Skunk want to take a bath!

Beowulf (2007). This was probably the WORST portrayal of the poem EVER done on the Silver Screen. Before you rave about this foul stank from the crotch of Hollywood do yourself a favor and get a hold of the Canadian Beowulf & Grendle (2005) and watch that instead. The Canadian movie was never released in America and is a total injustice to a very good movie! Angelina Jolie did NO justice as Grendle's mother. And the actor who played Beowulf did the hero no favors either. He was more akin to an Alcoholic glory hog than a man of action.

So what other cinematographic tidbits let the skunks out?

Actually he didn't, Wood never saw his films as bad, and was very proud of what he did.




Monster a-Go Go '65- Evidently they ran out of money towards the end, as the military is getting ready to kill the monster(who was once an astronaut who came back from space changed) then all of the sudden the narrator is heard saying the astronaut was found alive and okay, and we may never know what the monster was.

Sorority Babes in the Dance-A-Thon of Death '91- Shot with a home video camera, actors goofing up their lines is left in.

Night Of Horror '78- One scene is supposed to be set in a bar...it's obviously someone's basement with a table and chairs pushed in the corner.

The Brainsucker '88- You can actually hear the director's voice, like when the camera is zooming in on a building you can hear the director yell "Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!"

Back Woods '01- There's a scene that takes place at a gas station, they couldn't get permission to film at a real station so it's at a park with metal barrels, and a hand written cardboard sign that says "Gas Station"...The "special effects" is clothing stuffed with plastic garbage bags filled with fake blood."

Worzel Gummidge - Christmas Special - tvGold.org - Classic British TV

Worzel is tied up like a scarecrow and isn't allowed to go to the scarecrow's ball. Hmm. Worzel is a scarecrow.

I will offer Idiocracy, the 5 minutes of setup are brilliant, the remaining however long is awful, after hoping against all reasonableness that the movie would improve I skipped to the last 5 minutes to see how it ended and decided to fast forward through that too.

I have checked out many a movie becuase a critic has made them sound interesting in his description of how bad (and sometimes evil) they are that I just have to watch them.

And an honorable mention for Soccer Dog: The Movie, though it did raise many unintended laughs and did gain a cult status amongst friends. One notable point is that for the first 30 minutes the dogs name is known and often spoken, then at about 30 minutes in a scene plays in which some of the characters who previously spoke the name ask what the dogs name is.

wolfman with benicio del toro and anthony hopkins. whoever cast this movie isn’t qualified to sell popcorn to the fools who were tricked into paying actual money to see this disaster.

jonah hex. at some point I hope hollywood can understand that not all comics need to be turned into movies, take “green hornet” if you need more proof.

I just seen a movie not long ago called Rubber. Yea... interesting

I quite enjoyed that movie.

Rob Zombie's Halloween- Guess it shouldn't have been a surprise that Zombie would give Michael Myers a white trash background, and like most remakes everything is explained to death and we get long drawn out talky scenes with Myers and Loomis. Granted it's still not as bad of an explanation than Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers gave us, which leads us to-

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers- now we have a cult, a curse, Michael is supposed to kill blood relations as part of the unending curse or whatever. And Michael is even forced to impregnate his own niece to continue the family...huh? Over the years I had heard how much better the Producer's Cut was over the Theatrical Cut, the Producer's Cut just has more silly cult and curse absurdity.

Friday The 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan- The idea of Jason going on a killing spree in the Big Apple(which is how it was perceived in the trailers) sounded like fun, but then when you see the film you realize it should have been titled Jason Goes On A Cruise With A Brief Stop At The Big Apple as the majority of the film takes place on a cruise ship.

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday- Basically its The Hidden as Jason(who we only see briefly at the beginning of the movie) possesses people and they do the killing. Also Jason miraculously has a sister even though in the original Friday The 13th Mother Voorhees quite clearly says Jason is an only child.

Jason X In this Alien clone, I mean Friday The 13th sequel Jason is now in outer space...this seemed to be a trend back in the 90's when writers couldn't come up with a plot, setting it in space...hence Leprechaun In Space, and whatever Hellraiser it was set in space.

Day Of The Dead Remake- Zombies crawling on the ceiling is all I really have to say.

Creepshow III Zero involvement from King or Romero.

Black Christmas Remake- What made the original so effective was we knew nothing about the killer, no idea who he was ,who he was talking to, or why he did what he did. The remake comes along and explains everything.

Saw 3D: The Final Chapter - For the first hour I was convinced part of this was a movie-within-a-movie because it was "purposely" bad; the acting, the effects even. It looked like it was supposed to be fake. But, alas, the realization slowly came: they were serious. This series is just so stupid...except the first one.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - Only action movie to actually make me mad at the impossibility of what they do.

Schindler's List - I know this one will be controversial but I think as a movie, it is bad. Schindler's character was typical, and I can see why Seinfeld would parody him with Judge Reinhold. The whole thing is just hammy, and aside from Ralph Fiennes the emotion was lacking.

Other stinkers: The Number 23, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Sweeney Todd, Skyline, The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008), Dracula (1992), and Before Sunrise (Ugh!)

I am a huge Sci-fi fan but Battlefield Earth was the type of film that made me want to stick knitting needles in my eyes and while sitting transfixed to the screen willing a moment movie redemption to happen somewhere. I do actually like many of the films Travolta has been in like Phenomenon, Face-off and Pulp Fiction especially, but this one stunk so much I couldn't get the stench off me for weeks. I felt like I was sitting through a crash course in Scientology without the comfort of Cameron Diaz to make it remotely bearable. The only thing missing from that film was Tom Cruise. It was almost two hours of my life I will never be able to buy back. I am sure someone somewhere liked it though.

Another film was Mission Impossible for destroying one of my favourite TV series by making the original good guys bad and the only character not in the original the good guy. Afterwards I felt violated! :(

Thankskilling. A psychotic turkey goes around killing people.

The remake of the WILD WILD WEST TV series. James West is now black??? WTF????? And what the hell did they do to Professor Loveless? He had a growth spurt or something????

Any Star Trek movie except the recent revamp of the original was even WORST! The original series was camp and was in its day ultra cool but Next Generation on STANK! That is a TV series though.
I also seen one called Battle New York Day 2. Very weak!

Now that sounds like a good movie there.