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Topic: Cross Your Fingers Please....
teadipper's photo
Tue 11/08/11 05:02 PM

Ok now I am freaking out.

Sat on top of the phone all day. Not a good way to spend a day. Poor phone solicitor probably never been cursed out that bad in his life. That will get me a day in hell for sure.

"No news is good news"; right? I am going to choke my Doctor if I find out he knows it is no big deal and he just isn't making it a priority to tell me. Ny friend is a medical receptionist says that what usually happens. Ok breath a big deep breath and go make supper. No go to the hot tub every muscle in my body is in knots.

Endorphins... hmmmm...how many days in hell for mindless, irresponsible, ssssssssssss.... screeeeeach not going there. OMG all over the map lol.

Couldn't keep supper down anyway. Well least that is one way to drop a few pounds. Just my luck finally get skinny (yea like that is ever going to happen) for all the wrong reasons.

Least my house is getting cleaned. I may not be able to find anything for years because I sure wasn't paying attention where I put anything. lol

Ok going to think about your candle tea...ahhh see how a nice thoughts just carry a good vibe? thanks you all.


I do light a candle for my mingle friends daily and think good thoughts. I hope you are not like me. I have very fun dreams where I walk on clouds to Beatles tunes and if the stupid phone rings with a solicitor, I feel like I have been busted out of levitation and knocked to the bed and want to kill them and have heart failure even when I am not expecting an important call.

no photo
Tue 11/08/11 05:06 PM
Positive thoughts and fingers crossed...Also sending cyber hugs...:heart:

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 11/12/11 02:06 AM
Can't believe it a whole another week waiting. Oh well Monday I will call and see what the heck is going on. Thanks Leigh for the hugs it helps.

Think I will make some clay babies and fairies this weekend.

oldhippie1952's photo
Sat 11/12/11 02:56 AM
High hopes for you, and prayers too.

Been on dialysis 6 years and this next year i feel lucky about getting a kidney.

Dialysis is no fun but you do get to live.

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 11/14/11 07:44 PM
Well been a hell of a 24 hours.

Grandson in and out of dental surgery ok on one coast.

83 yr. old Dad in the ER his espohogus completly blocked so another dangerous procedure that he vaguely remembers and I am more of a zombie than much else after up all night in a chaotic ER. And most of the day trying to get insurance to reassign a new Primary care Doctor to get what needs to be done so.

Got my results finally. Right between the eyes somewhat because the news while not the problem I expected is not going to be an easy one to solve. More tests and probably something more when already I am so tired of medical crapola. Ok put my big girl pants on and just do it. Well maybe tomorrow. Tonight I am crawling in the bed and catching some zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

kelp1961's photo
Mon 11/14/11 07:49 PM

Well been a hell of a 24 hours.

Grandson in and out of dental surgery ok on one coast.

83 yr. old Dad in the ER his espohogus completly blocked so another dangerous procedure that he vaguely remembers and I am more of a zombie than much else after up all night in a chaotic ER. And most of the day trying to get insurance to reassign a new Primary care Doctor to get what needs to be done so.

Got my results finally. Right between the eyes somewhat because the news while not the problem I expected is not going to be an easy one to solve. More tests and probably something more when already I am so tired of medical crapola. Ok put my big girl pants on and just do it. Well maybe tomorrow. Tonight I am crawling in the bed and catching some zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Ahh...flowers here's hoping for a good nights sleep! Things always feel at least a little better in the morning.

Seakolony's photo
Mon 11/14/11 08:09 PM
My prayrs are with you...........

no photo
Mon 11/14/11 08:16 PM
:heart: Awww,,sorry to hear about your dad and the all nighter there,,,,,and your results are still looking so thats a good thing I hope,,I will keep you and your dad in my Prayers and sleep is a good thing to have right now...May tomorrow be brighter and you feel more yourself...Know we love you and we're always here for ya
In times of stress, we find a calm,,centered within our spirit, that lets us know,,,everything will come to pass,,and the darkness shall leave and the sun's light will fill our eyes...
This is just a trial,,a walk,,,and your half through it..:heart:

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 11/16/11 12:57 AM
Thanks you all for your support.

Today saw Dad's neurologist and because of the esophogeal issues they will not beable to prescribe the memory drugs to slow the Alzheimers.

The doctor said that he would authorize a skilled nurseing facility for him while I tend to my medical needs which he recomends I do asap before he deteriorates.

Tomorrow the treatment plan meeting with the onocologist. I sure wish I was not so scared. Guess that is normal.

Thankfully one of my neighbors is taking us out to a buffet for Thanksgiving Dinner so for the first time in 48 years I will not be cooking. That will be surreal for sure. I am going to watch in the forums to see what everyone is cooking though so want to see some good recipes.

P.S. Old Hippie I have talked for organ donation groupes for years as my late hubby was a multiple donor and think it was my saving grace at the time since he was only 36. Will pray you get your new kidneys from Santa it you need them. I will put in an extra God Bless for you Honey.

RainbowTrout's photo
Wed 11/16/11 01:36 AM
I used to go to sleep and wake up but lately passing out and coming to seems to work better.:smile:

mssilverfox's photo
Wed 11/16/11 07:03 AM
Edited by mssilverfox on Wed 11/16/11 07:04 AM
Still keeping you and your dad in my prayers Star..flowerforyou and I think your dad going to a skilled facility for awhile while you deal with your problems is a good idea.. I know its hard but being a caregiver (my hubsand had alzheimers 7 yrs)is a full time job and you need the energy to deal with your problems.. Its not being selfish and you shouldn't feel guilty about your dad going there..he will get good care and you can focus on what you need to do ...flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou

Seakolony's photo
Wed 11/16/11 03:37 PM
Good luck and praying for the best for you.

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 11/16/11 07:34 PM
All day waiting to ride the bus to talk to the urology onocologist. He got called out for an emergency so more waiting.

Dad was entertained watching a video in the doctor's office. One thing about Alzheimer's there is no such thing as reruns so he enjoyed a movie he has seen a dozen times.

Did get the CT exam results and read them; which would require a medical dictionary to understand. Don't know what people who don't have computers to look stuff up do. You can't really make and informed decision when you don't know the facts.

But thanks to specialization now I have to talk to a Liver onocologist. With the Thanksgiving Holiday I obviously am not going to get a referrral soon, Amazeing how people are not that "sick" if it is a holiday or the insurance covererage is limited.

Hopefully the new blood tests today will rule out indications that the mass is the Big C. But that nagging family medical history and my Dad's Doc is is not going to let me ignore it. That I have had a similiar mass setting in my brain and spine for almost forty years makes me want to say "so what"; and ignore it though. Wonder if third times a charm applies here. Sounds like the river of Denial huh? Anybody been there?

ArtGurl's photo
Wed 11/16/11 08:14 PM
:heart: :heart: :heart:

no photo
Wed 11/16/11 10:34 PM
My Prayers are with you and your dad! When it rains,it poors sometimes.Keep your chin up,and have faith that the good Lord is on it!
Just Believe!:angel: flowers :angel: flowers :angel:

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 11/17/11 12:03 PM
Yea having really good luck with the Thicket powder and Dad's swallowing problem. I took just enough for him to enjoy a weak cup of coffee with his buddies at the clubhouse and it really perked his spirits up. Half a day and not one chokeing episode so far.

Dad says he doesn't want candles on his cake next month. Doesn't want to get a ticket for "Air Pollution" hahahahaha Think he has been reading the joke book I bought him.

Yikes Rainbow sounds like you are getting Caregiver burnout yourself dear.

Back to moving furniture to bring in the hospital bed for Dad tomorrow.


PacificStar48's photo
Mon 11/21/11 08:36 PM
Excellent news; the next level of blood tests came back as clear of pervasive cancer cells. If I understand what the doctor is telling me it means if there is cancer it has not mastisized and will be operable. Still have to have an expensive MRI and biopsy since the Doc is not going to be satisfied without it but the odds just got a LOT better. And going into the New Year with a supplemental insurance policy my share of cost will be smaller.

no photo
Mon 11/21/11 08:56 PM

Excellent news; the next level of blood tests came back as clear of pervasive cancer cells. If I understand what the doctor is telling me it means if there is cancer it has not mastisized and will be operable. Still have to have an expensive MRI and biopsy since the Doc is not going to be satisfied without it but the odds just got a LOT better. And going into the New Year with a supplemental insurance policy my share of cost will be smaller.
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
With each heart a Prayer, and in each flower a hug.
May you enjoy this Thanksgiving with your father and feel so blessed knowing you still have him there, and knowing, he still knows your there with him,,God bless you BOTH this Thanksgiving day,,and may I just say personally to you here in front of all our friends,,YOUR A MIGHTY FINE WOMAM and DAUGHTER,,and to me,,a very special FRIEND! :heart: I'm very PROUD to say THAT,,to the World Joy
Hugs and much Love to you and my Prayers will keep being said in your hopes of being well...flowers

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