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| Topic: Liars | |
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My ex lied to me; that is why he is my ex. This really isnt a BF. Its a friend who I have fallen for and has lied to keep me around and close I would still get them out of my life but that is just me. Whatever you choose; I wish you the best. thank you, you are very sweet 
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Thank you for your advice Tea I know where you are at. I dealt with the most unforgivable of unforgivable lies recently. And he was out of it on pain killers due to worker's comp. at the time. I not only exiled him from my life but I did get professional help because it's not one of those things you can talk through with friends. It doesn't take many sessions and a professional can make you feel sane again and reassure you that it isn't your fault for not knowing about the liar. That's all I needed but I needed it from a credible source who was professional. And it wasn't somebody I was actually currently involved with. This honestly made me feel better to read. Thank you.
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If I were in your situation, I would need to vent and get out the anger and hurt that I would be feeling. The way that I would do this would be to write down how I felt and what I wanted to say to him. By the time I would have written it all down, I would have revised it about 10 times (probably more), changed the font and the font size. Changed lower case to caps and overdosed on the Bold, italics and colours  .
I wouldn’t be writing to compete with Shakespeare, I’d be writing to get it out of my head so that I would stop driving myself crazy thinking about things I wouldn’t be able to do anything about. Writing for me is very therapeutic. It may not be the ‘therapy’ you need but it may help you in the short term or at least until you can speak to him directly. Thank you. this made me smile..Sounds perfect!! Great advice. I appreciate it!!
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I LOVE a good lie! "OH KRUPA!!! YOUR THE BEST!!!"...I love that one. "I HAVE NEVER SEEN A D**K THAT BIG!!!!"...I love that one too. Lies make me confident and happy. Honesty's a b!tch. HAHAH Did I expect a different response from you? no..... 
Thanks for your input
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I think if my old Lady was cheating on me she would have puppies by now. As far as I know the dogs around here are not smart enough to use condoms. Experience has taught me to see if they are still married to their mothers before I get into a Polygamy type of relationship with them. It is nice to check out the competition before one gets into a relationship.
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Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies....
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Wed 10/26/11 07:41 AM
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I don't care if people lie to me. I can usually tell when people are lying. They only hurt their own integrity and no wonder no body trusts them. This person has a lot of people fooled. He is very well liked. I have been in that situation, more than once, and when I was younger I also told a few lies to a man ( toward the end of a relationship before I could figure out how to handle the fact that it was over - my bad) - Oh & I wanted to add, that I have also been hurt by telling the TRUTH, yes....don't do that - it's unforgivable - like being punished for doing the right thing - in my case it ended the relationship I have learned, that if you want to keep the friendship you have to call him on his misdeeds. Like Moe I have had some who refuse to talk to me at that point. Others who fess up and keep lying. One boyfriend did that and eventually he changed to become really great but by that time too much damage had been done - so I guess I fixed him up for the next woman....kinda irritating so, I don't think u can plan the outcome. But you do need to discuss things and take it from there. Often we do love people who take advantage of our heart & kindness- and these situations have varied outcomes over time. Personally I am not inclined to shut anyone out of my life. But I have at times distanced myself |
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I don't care if people lie to me. I can usually tell when people are lying. They only hurt their own integrity and no wonder no body trusts them. This person has a lot of people fooled. He is very well liked. I have been in that situation, more than once, and when I was younger I also told a few lies to a man ( toward the end of a relationship before I could figure out how to handle the fact that it was over - my bad) - Oh & I wanted to add, that I have also been hurt by telling the TRUTH, yes....don't do that - it's unforgivable - like being punished for doing the right thing - in my case it ended the relationship I have learned, that if you want to keep the friendship you have to call him on his misdeeds. Like Moe I have had some who refuse to talk to me at that point. Others who fess up and keep lying. One boyfriend did that and eventually he changed to become really great but by that time too much damage had been done - so I guess I fixed him up for the next woman....kinda irritating so, I don't think u can plan the outcome. But you do need to discuss things and take it from there. Often we do love people who take advantage of our heart & kindness- and these situations have varied outcomes over time. Personally I am not inclined to shut anyone out of my life. But I have at times distanced myself You sound just like me. thank you for taking the time to write that. It truly helps to not feel alone. I am trying to just be patient. I am distancing myself and waiting for him to make the next move. I will be addressing the issues and offering to do what I can but at a distance my heart cant hurt from
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I think if my old Lady was cheating on me she would have puppies by now. As far as I know the dogs around here are not smart enough to use condoms. Experience has taught me to see if they are still married to their mothers before I get into a Polygamy type of relationship with them. It is nice to check out the competition before one gets into a relationship.
HAHA.... thank you for your advice. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Wed 10/26/11 11:26 AM
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I don't care if people lie to me. I can usually tell when people are lying. They only hurt their own integrity and no wonder no body trusts them. This person has a lot of people fooled. He is very well liked. Sociopaths and psychopaths are good at fooling people. They can even fool the experts sometimes. Paul Eckman is a deception expert. He writes the manual on it. You can take a course from him on line. Very interesting. http://www.paulekman.com/ |
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I hate when they lie to me...it pissed me off...
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I suppose I always analyze why this person needs to lie. I would imagine they feel there is no way out of whatever they are masking behind a lie. When there are lies, trust is gone..and is very difficult to regain no matter how much you want to give them trust. I would have to say that you have to find a way to deal with it within your heart and ask yourself whether you want to endure that again or not. I do wish you the best.
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They say a woman should always trust her intuition. Mine was that my love was a cheat. He always denied it even though i confronted him. He hid everything. Even after divorce i continued to see him. Worst mistake i ever made! Don't wait. You deserve to be happy. Doubt is a sign!!! Trust it!
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hey it could be worse trust me , my most recent had a real dark criminal past she kept hidden from me n it ruined our relationship cuz of the lies n secrets not to mention she was on probation n in my place at the time of her gettin caught cuz of a bench warrant
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Ouch! That's kinda tough.
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Ouch! That's kinda tough. |
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How do you deal with being lied to by someone that you love? Normally I would just talk to the person about how I feel but thats not possible right now. He was in a very bad accident and is heavily drugged for pain I feel trapped with dealing with the situation by myself. Not a good feeling. And it will probably be weeks before I get the chance to address it. I wish I could walk away but something always tell me to stay. The heart doesnt let you pick who it wants to love We may not choose who we love but we do choose what to do about it. So no you are not trapped by love. It is your choice. That said, lying is a leaving offense. Reason being you can never trust a liar. Without trust you have a sick relationship that will be unhealthy for all involved. You want to address it to give him the chance to deny it. If you already KNOW you were lied to then that is all you need to know unless you ALREADY KNOW that you are still going to stay anyway. |
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How do you deal with being lied to by someone that you love? Normally I would just talk to the person about how I feel but thats not possible right now. He was in a very bad accident and is heavily drugged for pain I feel trapped with dealing with the situation by myself. Not a good feeling. And it will probably be weeks before I get the chance to address it. I wish I could walk away but something always tell me to stay. The heart doesnt let you pick who it wants to love We may not choose who we love but we do choose what to do about it. So no you are not trapped by love. It is your choice. That said, lying is a leaving offense. Reason being you can never trust a liar. Without trust you have a sick relationship that will be unhealthy for all involved. You want to address it to give him the chance to deny it. If you already KNOW you were lied to then that is all you need to know unless you ALREADY KNOW that you are still going to stay anyway. |
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i think we always expect it to happen once you see it happen the time an time again thing can drag you down hang in there sorry to hear about your situation.
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I don't care if people lie to me. I can usually tell when people are lying. They only hurt their own integrity and no wonder no body trusts them. This person has a lot of people fooled. He is very well liked. I have been in that situation, more than once, and when I was younger I also told a few lies to a man ( toward the end of a relationship before I could figure out how to handle the fact that it was over - my bad) - Oh & I wanted to add, that I have also been hurt by telling the TRUTH, yes....don't do that - it's unforgivable - like being punished for doing the right thing - in my case it ended the relationship I have learned, that if you want to keep the friendship you have to call him on his misdeeds. Like Moe I have had some who refuse to talk to me at that point. Others who fess up and keep lying. One boyfriend did that and eventually he changed to become really great but by that time too much damage had been done - so I guess I fixed him up for the next woman....kinda irritating so, I don't think u can plan the outcome. But you do need to discuss things and take it from there. Often we do love people who take advantage of our heart & kindness- and these situations have varied outcomes over time. Personally I am not inclined to shut anyone out of my life. But I have at times distanced myself You sound just like me. thank you for taking the time to write that. It truly helps to not feel alone. I am trying to just be patient. I am distancing myself and waiting for him to make the next move. I will be addressing the issues and offering to do what I can but at a distance my heart cant hurt from
part of "distancing" is not about "waiting for him to make the next move" it's more about preparing to move on - if he catches up and u wanna deal with whatever he has to say, fine but the distancing has nothing to do with him and everything to do with u doing what is best for u |
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