Topic: Single or Divorced?
no photo
Mon 09/26/11 01:19 PM
I’m not bothered if 'they' have never been married. I’m more concerned if the longest relationship that they have had has only lasted a year or two...Particularly if they are in their late 30’s or 40’s. That screams commitment issues to me regardless of who ended the relationship.

Geting involved with separated or married men is also something that I avoid – guys not always truthful on subject though.

I also steer away from guys that jump from one relationship into another without a break. To me this saids that they are ‘afraid’ to be on their own and not particularly selective about whom they get involved with as long as they are with someone.

Childless men give me a little niggle as well because:
a) at 42, having more children is not an option for me
b) at some point, they may want children
c) if they didn’t want children, how will they interact with mine if they are not ‘child friendly’

InvictusV's photo
Mon 09/26/11 01:47 PM
As someone else said dealing with still married or separated women is a good way to find yourself in a shallow grave.

I think the rest of the issues are semantics. You can't generalize criteria. I don't see how someone that is 35 and never married is a bad thing. I would much rather prefer them to someone 25 with 3 ex husbands and 8 kids.

Maybe I am asking for too much.. I don't know.

no photo
Mon 09/26/11 02:04 PM

As someone else said dealing with still married or separated women is a good way to find yourself in a shallow grave.

I think the rest of the issues are semantics. You can't generalize criteria. I don't see how someone that is 35 and never married is a bad thing. I would much rather prefer them to someone 25 with 3 ex husbands and 8 kids.

Maybe I am asking for too much.. I don't know.


I don't see how it's a bad thing either. I'd prefer someone who hasn't been married to someone who has settled for several different husbands and has kids with each one.

navygirl's photo
Mon 09/26/11 02:11 PM

No preference.
But I do get a small, nervous twinge
at 'Never Been Married.'


I am one of those never been married types myself so I am in no positon to judge someone who has never been married. Just the same; if you meet someone divorced; why are they divorced? Did they do something wrong? Is something wrong with them? It goes both ways for divorced or never have been married.

no photo
Mon 09/26/11 02:13 PM


No preference.
But I do get a small, nervous twinge
at 'Never Been Married.'


I am one of those never been married types myself so I am in no positon to judge someone who has never been married. Just the same; if you meet someone divorced; why are they divorced? Did they do something wrong? Is something wrong with them? It goes both ways for divorced or never have been married.


I do agree that it can go both ways. Some people think that those who have never been married have commitment issues, but the same could be said for those who did not stay married.

navygirl's photo
Mon 09/26/11 02:24 PM



No preference.
But I do get a small, nervous twinge
at 'Never Been Married.'


I am one of those never been married types myself so I am in no positon to judge someone who has never been married. Just the same; if you meet someone divorced; why are they divorced? Did they do something wrong? Is something wrong with them? It goes both ways for divorced or never have been married.


I do agree that it can go both ways. Some people think that those who have never been married have commitment issues, but the same could be said for those who did not stay married.


Yep, I think it best to get to know the person and find out why they never married or are divorced. For me; it was my military career that was the cause of me not getting married or being in a relationship for longer than a year as I was never home for more than 6 months at at time. I think if someone is going to look down on me for that; then its their problem not mine.

no photo
Mon 09/26/11 02:47 PM
:thumbsup:

krupa's photo
Mon 09/26/11 04:33 PM
I am early 40's...Never been married, never been divorced. Because of that, I have no children. It is also why I have aged slower than everyone who has had kids or divorces....no stress.

For me, the loyalty that love commands is a personal bond between spirits.....not an uncontrollable past.

We all got our red flags and that is a good thing. To each, thier own.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/26/11 04:36 PM

I was married for 13 years , been divorced for over 15 years and Im STILL a Virgin!!!!noway grumble :wink:


No wonder she got a divorce. YOU have to put out MIKEY!laugh laugh laugh

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/26/11 04:39 PM
I think if someone is still single and nearing 40, i am concerned, I am pretty sure they finished up school. I wonder about people who never get married, I know a lot of men who used to party and now they are older and all the good ladies are taken.

If they have a valid excuse, like school and career, that is one thing. But if they say something like i just havent found the right one, that is concerning.

I am extremely concerned over someone who has been married and divorced more than twice. OR WIDOWED> creepy.

krupa's photo
Mon 09/26/11 04:59 PM
Well....some of us were dumb enough to hold out for the one that was never coming back....

More than 20 years. It was a total waste of time and a waste of my life. I am sooooo glad I did it. I am the rare idiot who won't settle for less. It led me through alot of nights alone through the years.

But, it paid off. That failed past led me here...to meet a woman I have grown to Love, honor and Apprecieate.

I dont think of me as "Never been married"....I think of myself as "Never been divorced".

no photo
Mon 09/26/11 05:04 PM

I think if someone is still single and nearing 40, i am concerned, I am pretty sure they finished up school. I wonder about people who never get married, I know a lot of men who used to party and now they are older and all the good ladies are taken.

If they have a valid excuse, like school and career, that is one thing. But if they say something like i just havent found the right one, that is concerning.

I am extremely concerned over someone who has been married and divorced more than twice. OR WIDOWED> creepy.


So you'd be more concerned with someone who hasn't gotten married because they haven't found the right person by 40? So there is an age cut off? Would it concern you less if they had settled for someone to marry, then got divorced?

txmomof2's photo
Mon 09/26/11 05:25 PM
No real preference. But sometimes I do wonder when someone is in there 40s or more why they have never been married. It's not a concern just a curiosity.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/26/11 05:31 PM


I think if someone is still single and nearing 40, i am concerned, I am pretty sure they finished up school. I wonder about people who never get married, I know a lot of men who used to party and now they are older and all the good ladies are taken.

If they have a valid excuse, like school and career, that is one thing. But if they say something like i just havent found the right one, that is concerning.

I am extremely concerned over someone who has been married and divorced more than twice. OR WIDOWED> creepy.


So you'd be more concerned with someone who hasn't gotten married because they haven't found the right person by 40? So there is an age cut off? Would it concern you less if they had settled for someone to marry, then got divorced?


Yes, because I think people are too picky, ever see-"Sleeping with the enemy"? I would be afraid of someone who spent so much time finding faults in those of others who could not meet their expectations. I am aware of a faulted society and the people in it. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...(if thats how it goes) I regret my ex, but grateful for the experience, Now i know what i dont want.laugh With that, I think the one i will love will also have been divorced and aware of the insignificant things in life that can tear apart a good couple. I think people from previous marriages know whats worth it and what's not worth fighting over.

Goofball73's photo
Mon 09/26/11 05:48 PM
I like the ladies with a little meat on there bones, and.....wait...Ooopppss.....wrong thread.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/26/11 05:50 PM

I like the ladies with a little meat on there bones, and.....wait...Ooopppss.....wrong thread.

noway laugh nowaylaugh noway

no photo
Mon 09/26/11 06:54 PM



I think if someone is still single and nearing 40, i am concerned, I am pretty sure they finished up school. I wonder about people who never get married, I know a lot of men who used to party and now they are older and all the good ladies are taken.

If they have a valid excuse, like school and career, that is one thing. But if they say something like i just havent found the right one, that is concerning.

I am extremely concerned over someone who has been married and divorced more than twice. OR WIDOWED> creepy.


So you'd be more concerned with someone who hasn't gotten married because they haven't found the right person by 40? So there is an age cut off? Would it concern you less if they had settled for someone to marry, then got divorced?


Yes, because I think people are too picky, ever see-"Sleeping with the enemy"? I would be afraid of someone who spent so much time finding faults in those of others who could not meet their expectations. I am aware of a faulted society and the people in it. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...(if thats how it goes) I regret my ex, but grateful for the experience, Now i know what i dont want.laugh With that, I think the one i will love will also have been divorced and aware of the insignificant things in life that can tear apart a good couple. I think people from previous marriages know whats worth it and what's not worth fighting over.


I think the problem with most is that they're not picky enough about who they marry.

JustSomeNerd's photo
Mon 09/26/11 07:21 PM
I think the problem with most is that they're not picky enough about who they marry.


I'm very, very picky.

txmomof2's photo
Mon 09/26/11 07:28 PM

I like the ladies with a little meat on there bones, and.....wait...Ooopppss.....wrong thread.


laugh laugh laugh

JustSomeNerd's photo
Mon 09/26/11 07:30 PM

No real preference. But sometimes I do wonder when someone is in there 40s or more why they have never been married. It's not a concern just a curiosity.


Curious, eh?

offtopic

Myself, I feel I have a lot of self-control. When I was younger, I envisioned myself getting married once and only once. I only make an effort once I know the person and I feel we're going to connect on all levels for a very, very long time.

Honestly, I sometimes feel I was a fool and missed out on the right one because I was worried about ruining our friendship. She's now married with 2 kids in a second marriage last I heard.

Then again, maybe it was meant to be.

I keep myself very occupied running a business and working on other video and music projects that I don't allow myself to feel lonely much.

Have I had opportunities for flings through the years? Yea, a few. But I'm not selling myself short of my dream.

And happy to be single! happy