This one is mainly for the ladies, when dating someone you are in a relationship with, do you expect your male partner to make most of the decisions as to what you will be doing while on your date, as to where you will be going etc..

I ask this because when I was with my ex I would always ask her what she would like to do when we would go out together, I thought I was just being considerate, however after we had dated a few months, she started becoming annoyed when I would ask her this, she stated that since I am the one asking her out, I should have already made plans as to what we would be doing on our date.

I think she was under the impression I could not make decisions on my own, without consulting her first, I still kind of do this sometimes, do some woman see this as a man that is indecisive, I consider myself to be a considerate person, but I don't want to be seen as someone that can't be decisive.

No, I never expected a guy to make all the decsions for a date; we would make them together. Its called respecting each other.

This seems to be a common problem between couples.
My thoughts on this is that it puts a lot of pressure and work on the partner who has to end up making all the decisions all the time.

It's more considerate if you make suggestions once in a while, to show her that you care, that you're excited enough to have thought and gathered ideas what you might want to do. She can always say no, and your flexibility and understanding would still be appreciated and very considerate.

It is a nice thing to give people the option to make decisions but it is more important to be in tune with each other and plan accordingly. It shows that you can be assertive.

If it was a surprise yep..

But if we where just going out, I would like to talk about it, not that I would care if he did or didnt, but sometimes i might really feel like indian or chinese, but not want seafood. ( well I hate that anyway, but its always nice to talk about what you would both like..
I dont see a probelm with it..

Some people you can never make happy

For a date, most of the time i let him to make the decisions.
It help's me to know his taste and the kind of poeple and things he want around him, and that also help's me to know his kind of person

I prefer us taking turns making plans. And then making plans together. It shouldn't be one person making plans all the time.

I don't want to date someone who is too indecisive to make any plans, or who is too controlling to not let me make any plans. Both would definitely be a bad thing.

I would let her make any decision. Keeps them from b!tching and nagging so much........

So you wouldn't make any decisions?

I don't really see a reason to. I am sure I would be wrong anyway if I did.....

I guess that may work for a woman who wants to make all the decisions herself.

I was supposed to have a second date with a guy who refused to make plans. I made them for the first date, then told him to let me know what he wanted to do for the second date. He said ok, but never did. Turns out, he thought I didn't really mean it when I asked what he wanted to do. Even then, he refused to make plans. Because of that, the second date never happened. I wouldn't date someone who refused to make any plans.

I see this as a common problem in a lot of relationships too. My sister and brother-in-law are constantly fighting about this subject. He says that he is always asking her because if he chooses something she doesn't like she will be a witch to him the whole time. She says that she just wants him to make some decisions once in awhile.

In my opinion, I think making the decision together is best but also taking turns once in a while keeps things fresh.

On a first date, I like to choose the venue as it needs to somewhere that I am comfortable with and feel safe. Subsequent dates, I would want the man to choose. If I didn’t like his choice, I would put forward suggestions of his own.

Indecisive men and too much consultation drives me crazy!

it would all depend on the situation. If he asked me to go out then yes.

Try this for a change. "So, I'm thinking this, this and this for a date. Work for you?"

You've laid out what you want to do, and still asked what she thought. Changes can be made.


If I'm always asked, because he has no idea, or imagination, then it's a bit irritating. If he asks, but has a plan, and throws something out, then it's never been a big deal. I don't want to do it all, but I find it irritating if he does it with no changes being allowed (as in all the time, not on occasion).

What if indecisive women and not enough involvement in planning dates drives him crazy?

It may well do, but he wouldn't have that problem with me.

Dating works two ways in my mind. If a guy asks me out, then I would expect him to have a venue in mind before asking. If I asked him out on a date, I would have already planned where we’re going. However, if he said “where do you fancy going tonight?” we’d have a discussion, but if it lasted longer than 10 minutes without conclusion. I would make a decision for us – because I don’t like indecision, I’m a planner. There’s always a plan A, B, C, D etc to fall back on.