You know how relationships can be great at first during the first three months but then they start going downhill?

People take each other for granted, start trying to change the other person to suit them better.. start getting bossy, critical and possessive..

After the honeymoon is over... in a relationship if you don't really like each other on a deeper level it is probably the best thing to split up.

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Some people will just get bored with the other person or lose interest.

If you really don't want to get married or get into a LTR why not set ground rules and even a time limit for exclusivity. (going steady)

Rather than a few one night stands, how about dating for one to three months and then agree to end it? Enjoy the good times, create great memories, then go your separate ways.

I wonder if anyone would be up for something like that?

No..I wouldn't be up for that at all.
I would just rather see things end when the relationship ends not when the calendar says times up.

I just automatically assume it'll be over in three months anyway.

BettyB

The problem with that is that it could cause hard feelings. Not to mention if the relationship starts going down hill people tend to cling to it and try to 'fix' it.

You would have to be in the mind set that you don't want a LTR.

I think you can start to notice when it starts going down hill. Your time together is not as enjoyable.

There sometimes comes a time when it actually becomes annoying and unhappy and you would rather be 'alone' but you don't know how to break the news.

That's a good number.

If a relationship goes sour and you have put a time limit on it.. good or bad, all you have to say is : hey... the time was up.

If the relationship was good, you have nice memories. If it was going bad fast, you get out without too much damage.

I think its a great idea.

That's true.
If I think its worth it I will try to fix it, but it does take two to fix things.
I would just hope that both parties would try before throwing in the towel.
So I still couldn't go into a relationship thinking it will be over in three mos. But thats just me.

I would. I like staying loyal to ONE person.
I just have the problem of getting attached easily =/
And sometimes I go after the wrong type of guys. Thats my mistake.

Then after the relationship ends, I get all sad and mopey for a while.

Sometimes I wonder if I was someone different, then perhaps I would be better at keeping the relationship going. You know what they say, 'When you're single all you see are couples. Though when you are in a relationship, all you see are happy single people.' =/

I agree.

I prefer to start as friends just talking and see how things evolve, but I will assume that if our conversations go beyond a few messages & the messages are continuous, that he is interested in more than platonic

so as to your conundrum - I think the longer you just talk and get to be real good freinds the better the chance for the relationship to last whether it becomes romantic or not - even if u take a break from the relationship now & then

because the short term romances that u describe are usually caused by the two people rushing things

please accept my honesty in the positive spirit it is intended because it is my intention to clarify, but that sounds immature to me - what u said - like a high school age problem

Why? because anyone with an adult mind knows that there will be ups & downs and issues...especially after a time - especially after the "honeymoon" period (which is how that 3 months is usually defined) wears off

this is why the time spent developing the friendship that I talked about before is so important - to provide the foundation to get past the problems, or "over the hump"

if that is a continual problem I'd say either grow up (if u are the one doing the 3 month breaking up) < not "you" personally - just whomever, or if u are the one being dumped - find a partner with more maturity & experience with relationships- jm .02

Oh there are lots and lots of folks who are into temporary relationships.
Some consciously and some subconsciously but it is more common than not.

I am not really very interested in temporary relationships.
I just like the permanent ones best.

same

but life is funny - all my life all or most of my relationships were basically permanent - even tho many of them I had not communicated with in years...but recently I was thrown into a situation where - in a subcultural sense - the people I was meeting were not accustomed to that - it was a difficult time

HAHAHAHA! Seems to be the trend huh....

I think once a person has evolved they may realize there is no point in trying to change a person. You have to realize what their faults are, and what your faults are. But if either one of you is going to be dishonest in your wants and desires then of course it wont work.

People are so desperate for love, they try to put up with stuff and then get all possessive and bossy like they own it. Thats lame. You shouldnt expect things to work after that.

Why do you assume that if conversations go beyond a few messages, that he's interested in more than a platonic friendship? Do you ask him? I message people all the time and it often goes beyond a few messages, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm interested in anything but friendship.

well Simone that leads to expectations, and knowing right from wrong. Expecting respect, and then speaking up if your partner disrespects u is NOT being possessive and bossy

In my experience the possessive and bossy accusations usually come from the partner who is misbehaving (as it were)or wanting to have his/her cake and eat it too - which is immature

Being honest as far as wants and desires is fine but a lot of guys I have talked to are not honest about this - saying one thing & doing another - so I take all of that w/ a grain of salt and watch their behavior not their words

and men are the most possessive in the long run, really. If my man wasn't "possessive" I'd be concerned that he did not care.

I think it is possible to communicate about things like expectations and respect in an adult manner

but that does require that both partners have adult communication skills

Hellooooooooo....it is a dating site. So, I feel it is a safe assumption - we will simply have to agree to disagree on this one.

but if that's your style that's just fine - whatever