Topic: The 90 day rule according to Steve Harvey.
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Mon 08/15/11 08:12 PM




I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating.



Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value.


sex is usually reserved for the beloved, for me anyway, and I have learned that it does not take 90 days to fall in love - love doesn't have a time limit

but I admit to sometimes being open to sex even with just someone where there is the potential to fall in love

and I also think we all have to be free to attach our own meaning and depth of meaning of sex for ourselves

you , singme , and I may all see that meaning a little differently and that's OK - in my viewlove :heart:


Exactly. We all have different views when it comes to sex. Does that mean any of us are wrong? No, of course not. If someone wants to wait until they're in love, or for the possibility of love to have sex, that's great. If someone wants to have sex on a first date, go for it. I'm not going to judge people based on when they want to have sex. Different things work for different people.


well it took me a long time to figure out what works for me, but yes, I think it is important that we design our "standards" as it were based on actions that we can feel good about

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Mon 08/15/11 08:14 PM
Laughs . This is not about my feelings on it, it is on yours.

You are the one using it to get to know them better while you date. You tell me how long in before you use it to know them better? And you tell me how meaningful is it?

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Mon 08/15/11 08:17 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Mon 08/15/11 08:18 PM
Maybe you missed what I have said already. That's ok, I'll repeat it for you. I don't set a time frame when it comes to sex. I like to see how things go and take it from there.

As for the meaningfulness, it's going to depend on the person I'm with.

You're the one who keeps saying it's not meaningful, so that's why I asked you what meaningful meant to you. That way I can understand where you're coming from. Get it?

Do you not get to know someone better when you have sex with them? I certainly do.

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Mon 08/15/11 08:22 PM
unless they're inflatable with a tagdevil


sorry couldn't resistdevil


ok ok - I'm leaving now......slaphead

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Mon 08/15/11 08:23 PM

Maybe you missed what I have said already. That's ok, I'll repeat it for you. I don't set a time frame when it comes to sex. I like to see how things go and take it from there.

As for the meaningfulness, it's going to depend on the person I'm with.

You're the one who keeps saying it's not meaningful, so that's why I asked you what meaningful meant to you. That way I can understand where you're coming from. Get it?

Do you not get to know someone better when you have sex with them? I certainly do.


Some one i am just dating honestly , sex would not be very meaningful, it would be what it is. That would be why i don't date around.

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Mon 08/15/11 08:24 PM
I did say before that I prefer to date one person. So maybe our idea of dating is different. Since you wouldn't answer the question about what meaningful means to you, maybe you'll explain what dating means to you?

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Mon 08/15/11 08:34 PM
Meaningful for me would be someone who gives a chit about me and my life.

See i think to me what you describe would be a FB. Not a FWB. Just a FB. Take them out have few laughs go do your deeds and your done. No heartache when it ends, no wondering what should have been. Just sex with someone your dating.

Dating = revolving door.
Seeing someone = one on one , no other women involved.


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Mon 08/15/11 08:41 PM
So, for some reason, you're assuming I date people who don't give a shyt about me and my life. What gave you that idea?

And where did you get the idea that I was talking about a **** buddy? If that's what I had been talking about, I wouldn't have said dating.

And my use of the word dating in this context would be the same as seeing someone.

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Mon 08/15/11 08:42 PM

So, for some reason, you're assuming I date people who don't give a shyt about me and my life. What gave you that idea?

And where did you get the idea that I was talking about a **** buddy? If that's what I had been talking about, I wouldn't have said dating.

And my use of the word dating in this context would be the same as seeing someone.



Really? I mean really? You think guys you are just dating give a crap?

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Mon 08/15/11 08:44 PM


So, for some reason, you're assuming I date people who don't give a shyt about me and my life. What gave you that idea?

And where did you get the idea that I was talking about a **** buddy? If that's what I had been talking about, I wouldn't have said dating.

And my use of the word dating in this context would be the same as seeing someone.



Really? I mean really? You think guys you are just dating give a crap?



I'm going to guess this is a general question, since I've given no info on who I've dated or the kind of people I've dated. That being said, do you not give a shyt about women you date? Are you saying that all men do not give a shyt about who they date?

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Mon 08/15/11 08:45 PM
Here is a big clue in case you have not figured it out yet through your own experience with your own relationships or dating or whatever you choose to call it. MEN Do not give a crap about some woman they are "just dating". If a man has any serious intentions HE WILL NOT say "yeah we are just dating"

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Mon 08/15/11 08:46 PM
WINNER.....


Men and women do not see "Just dating" as the same thing. If a man says we are just dating, he is leaving the door open for others ................................................................

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Mon 08/15/11 08:47 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Mon 08/15/11 08:49 PM
I was referring to the term I used. And as I had already said, I'm using "dating" as "seeing someone." I was also speaking in general about past experiences with boyfriends/dating/seeing someone.

But thank you for being honest that you don't care about who you're dating. Good for women to know! Sometimes it takes a while for that to show. With you, it was pretty quick.

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Mon 08/15/11 08:49 PM
See a man if he really like's you he will say this is my girlfriend, this is my lady, this is my woman. He wont refer to you as a woman he is dating.:smile:



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Mon 08/15/11 08:54 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Mon 08/15/11 08:57 PM
I'm glad you're so insightful that you can speak for all men! That's awesome.

And it's great that you've made so many assumptions after telling me not to assume. :thumbsup: I had purposefully not given you much information about the people I dated, or the situations. I wanted to see what you'd say.. and you ran with it. laugh

But, thanks for the conversation. It did amuse me and let me in on how you really feel about women.

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Mon 08/15/11 08:56 PM

I was referring to the term I used. And as I had already said, I'm using "dating" as "seeing someone." I was also speaking in general about past experiences with boyfriends/dating/seeing someone.

But thank you for being honest that you don't care about who you're dating. Good for women to know! Sometimes it takes a while for that to show. With you, it was pretty quick.



You really should back up what you say. No where have i said anything of that nature. I have stated i don't date around i have stated i see one on one.

You on the other hand told us how you "use sex to get to know guys you are dating". Your own words show you for who you are.

My words. My words have been honest. My words told you how men perceive dating and someone they are serious about. Two different beasts.

You you tried to twist words that were not there. you tried to make me into something i am not. Funny part i called you out earlier for trying to stir the pot. Your own words now prove you to be what you are.:wink:


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Mon 08/15/11 08:59 PM


I was referring to the term I used. And as I had already said, I'm using "dating" as "seeing someone." I was also speaking in general about past experiences with boyfriends/dating/seeing someone.

But thank you for being honest that you don't care about who you're dating. Good for women to know! Sometimes it takes a while for that to show. With you, it was pretty quick.



You really should back up what you say. No where have i said anything of that nature. I have stated i don't date around i have stated i see one on one.

You on the other hand told us how you "use sex to get to know guys you are dating". Your own words show you for who you are.

My words. My words have been honest. My words told you how men perceive dating and someone they are serious about. Two different beasts.

You you tried to twist words that were not there. you tried to make me into something i am not. Funny part i called you out earlier for trying to stir the pot. Your own words now prove you to be what you are.:wink:




Did you miss where I said more than once that I prefer to date one person at a time? That means I date one person at a time. Same as what you're talking about when you said you see one person at a time. Just different wording.

I have been honest about what I've said. If you choose to think I have not, that's not my issue. I can't force you to believe me. And I'm not trying to force you to agree with me. As said earlier, we all have different preferences when it comes to sex. I don't judge others based on when they have sex. Apparently you do.

You say that my own words now prove I am what I am. What does it prove I am?

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Mon 08/15/11 09:01 PM
Hurry go edit some more of your posts laugh

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Mon 08/15/11 09:02 PM
Not going to answer my question? What does what I've said prove that I am? Let's hear you be honest about it.

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Mon 08/15/11 09:03 PM

Not going to answer my question? What does what I've said prove that I am? Let's hear you be honest about it.


You are drama plain and very simple.