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| Topic: The 90 day rule according to Steve Harvey. | |
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I agree any relationship (dating bf/gf/marriage etc etc) should have touch. But I disagree with you if you think it is a must on the first date. And i would honestly like to think that a woman can appreciate a man wanting to enjoy their first date about more than when will i kiss her, when will we band, i wonder if she likes.........." 6 Dates however, is a lot more time than any person should be going with out showing affection for the person you are seeing. I understand why you left it, i understand why you took issue with me and my posts. You see his actions, but you forgot i was only discussing one first date with out a kiss.  Enjoy your evening and i hope things get better for you  . I was trina reiterate that I was referring to the first couple a dates and not specifically the first. You should only do what youre comfortable doing, I was only pointing out the possible thoughts that go thru a gals mind. Thanks for the well wishes but I dug that relationship out of the past to illustrate the point I was making. It was about a year ago. I have a feeling your gal knows you have a great deal of romance behind your conversations and will happily wait for the right moment with you. I am pretty sure i am single, maybe i should have kissed her!!! 
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exxman, Im so sorry about the mood of this thread. You must feel attacked and that wasnt what I was going for so I apologise for that. Truly, Im only trying to make a point about the importance of a simple touch. A peck on the cheek, or the like. Youve been very kind to share what youve experienced and Im grateful that you continued to talk about things. I don't think anyone has attacked him. Disagreed? Yes. Questioned? Yes. Attacked? No. I think people use the word attack too freely around here, as it does not describe much of what goes on. I am glad that people are sharing and discussing their experiences and what they think, though. |
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right sing, I just didnt like the mood I seemed to be creating and I wanted to be sure I was understood. He could have felt attacked without an intentional attack and I just wanted to be clear that I didnt want that in any shape or form. That's cool. I understand why you said it and I'm sure it did help to clarify. |
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Anyway, back to the actual topic. I would not want to set a time frame on having sex. I'd rather just see how things go and take it from there. 
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right sing, I just didnt like the mood I seemed to be creating and I wanted to be sure I was understood. He could have felt attacked without an intentional attack and I just wanted to be clear that I didnt want that in any shape or form.  I understand why you questioned and what you thought you saw (Flashback to that relationship). And I appreciate you coming out and acknowledging the mood of the thread had taken a turn and why. As for Sing, she has been questioning what i type for days, i have grown use to it & learned to ignore being drawn into arguing with her . Bottom line i learned something from you two, Stop trying to be respectful and just treat them like they want to be treated. Surely her actions will lead me to give her what she wants.
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating.
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right sing, I just didnt like the mood I seemed to be creating and I wanted to be sure I was understood. He could have felt attacked without an intentional attack and I just wanted to be clear that I didnt want that in any shape or form. I understand why you questioned and what you thought you saw (Flashback to that relationship). And I appreciate you coming out and acknowledging the mood of the thread had taken a turn and why. As for Sing, she has been questioning what i type for days, i have grown use to it & learned to ignore being drawn into arguing with her . Bottom line i learned something from you two, Stop trying to be respectful and just treat them like they want to be treated. Surely her actions will lead me to give her what she wants. I question everyone if you haven't noticed by now. It's not a personal thing . Though, if I ask a question, it's because I'm trying to understand more, rather than arguing. Obviously, you can choose to or not to respond, but the response might help others understand as well. No one said anything about not being respectful. |
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. |
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? |
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? Don't take it out of context. You're on quote says your using it to get to know them while dating. Dating is just that, dating. Not very meaningful if you are just giving it up to someone while you get to know them during dating is it? |
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And don't worry Sing i am not attacking your actions, just questioning them to better understand.
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. sex is usually reserved for the beloved, for me anyway, and I have learned that it does not take 90 days to fall in love - love doesn't have a time limit but I admit to sometimes being open to sex even with just someone where there is the potential to fall in love and I also think we all have to be free to attach our own meaning and depth of meaning of sex for ourselves you , singme , and I may all see that meaning a little differently and that's OK - in my view  
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? Don't take it out of context. You're on quote says your using it to get to know them while dating. Dating is just that, dating. Not very meaningful if you are just giving it up to someone while you get to know them during dating is it? Now you're the one making assumptions. Didn't you just tell me not to do that earlier? If you want to judge others based on when they have sex, that's up to you. Sex for me is part of dating. Does that mean I have sex with every single person I go on a date with? No. If you have more questions about how I feel about sex, feel free to ask. It's better than jumping to the conclusion that I just giving it up to anyone.
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. sex is usually reserved for the beloved, for me anyway, and I have learned that it does not take 90 days to fall in love - love doesn't have a time limit but I admit to sometimes being open to sex even with just someone where there is the potential to fall in love and I also think we all have to be free to attach our own meaning and depth of meaning of sex for ourselves you , singme , and I may all see that meaning a little differently and that's OK - in my view Exactly. We all have different views when it comes to sex. Does that mean any of us are wrong? No, of course not. If someone wants to wait until they're in love, or for the possibility of love to have sex, that's great. If someone wants to have sex on a first date, go for it. I'm not going to judge people based on when they want to have sex. Different things work for different people. |
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And don't worry Sing i am not attacking your actions, just questioning them to better understand. I welcome the questions. |
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? Don't take it out of context. You're on quote says your using it to get to know them while dating. Dating is just that, dating. Not very meaningful if you are just giving it up to someone while you get to know them during dating is it? Now you're the one making assumptions. Didn't you just tell me not to do that earlier? If you want to judge others based on when they have sex, that's up to you. Sex for me is part of dating. Does that mean I have sex with every single person I go on a date with? No. If you have more questions about how I feel about sex, feel free to ask. It's better than jumping to the conclusion that I just giving it up to anyone. Who has judged you for having sex while you are just dating? Not i. I asked you a question see the ?. As for the meaning of what you are doing, that is between you and them and as you stated, you are using it to get to know them better. But when i read your post it did not seem very meaningful if you are using it to get to know them. You understand? To me dating is just that dating. It does not say i am committed to one person or seeing just them. |
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Well, I prefer to date one person at a time. So it's not like I'm going around dating several people and having sex with all of them at the same time.
I never got into how meaningful it was, so you made the assumption that it wasn't meaningful. |
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You said you are using it to get to know them better. I am asking you how meaningful can it really be if you are just giving it up while you get to know them better while dating?
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Mon 08/15/11 08:11 PM
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What does meaningful mean to you when it comes to sex, exxman? When does it become more than "just giving it up?" What kind of time frame are you talking about?
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Can it be something you will cherish and carry with you forever?
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