I do understand it's their personal experience. All I'm saying is that the negativity isn't going to make me contact someone.

ok, when you posted this response i took it to mean that you have read each post before your post, found one you chose to comment on, but the post you quote is referring to other posts, by saying you see bitterness and negativity i felt this meant you see bitterness and negativity in my post.
as far as women contacting men, some women (not all) are drawn to negative and/or bitter men because they feel that they can "fix" him

Right, but for someone who never gets contacted anyway, that's not much of a disincentive.

I'm not being self-referential with this, either, just to clear that up -- I get contacted pretty regularly here.

I chose mg's post to respond to, as he sent me to this thread, saying it was full of real men who are husband material. And I responded to him, mentioning that I saw a lot of negativity, wondering what about it was going to make women want to contact people. I'm not one of those fix it kind of women. I don't want to have to try and change some guy like that.

As for your posts, from what I've seen of your posts in the past, you tend not to be too serious all the time. So, that's what I took your post as this time as well.

Though, from your responses after that, I think you're taking what I've said way too seriously and personally. It wasn't personal. I was simply wondering about all the negativity.

If they're not getting contacted, maybe they need to look at how they're portraying themselves here in the forums and on their profiles?

I can't honestly say it would make any difference. When I first signed up, I tried messaging a number of local people and I never got a reply. Not once. So I decided not to bother with that anymore, and I just posted a lot in the forums until people started messaging me.

And I really don't think there was any problem, per se, with the e-mails I was sending out. I know how to write a little bit. It was just clear that the locals were not interested.

So I still don't waste my time sending out first messages. I've learned my lesson. And I can't say I feel bitter or negative about it, just that I've seen that it doesn't work, so it's not worth pursuing.

i try to be lighthearted in my posts, even hilarious at times. i do have a serious side and when i see a post that puts myself or others in a bad light i tend to draw a line in the sand (even if i don't believe in what the poster believes in). from what i've seen, you question a lot of people on a lot of posts. sometimes you come off as being a devil's advocate of sorts. picking out the bad or seeing bad in posts and asking why the poster is feeling that way. you do add conversation to threads and make people think (nice) but i do notice you rarely give compliments or try to post something just to lift a strangers spirits. bottom line, you are one of the few people i read on a regular basis
(only editing to add this)

Unfortunately, most of us haven't found local people here. There are very few in my area that are even active on this site from what I've found. From what I hear, many others have found the same thing.

I've met some local people on another site. I stick around here, because I like the forums and because I've made some friends.

I do question what people say a lot, as I'm interested in hearing the responses.

I don't baby people a lot, like some others tend to do. Sometimes some people compliment people so much that it tends to seem insincere. When I compliment someone, I do so when I really mean it.

Yeah, the "locals" issue is a problem. I see dozens of them flowing through "People You Might Be Interested In" but none of them participates in the forums. But the area I'm in seems to be a thematic "Dead Zone" on every site I've tried.

I live near a couple big cities and in a smaller city, so there are a lot of people around where I live.. just not on here.

I'm sure all of us at times have received no replies to the emails we've sent. But, if we all took the "I'm not going to bother anymore" attitude, where would that get us? Nowhere, of course. So, stop worrying about who should be sending the first message. If you see someone you want to chat with, contact them. If they don't respond, move on because there will be someone else.

Also, all the people I've met in person from this site have been people I've gotten to know through the forums. Don't be afraid to contact someone because of something they've said in the forums. You could make a new friend or more.

I'm old, salty, and not afraid to go shopping with you.

There's a lot of personalities that come on mingle. Sometimes we judge based on our view instead of trying to see through the other persons eyes. Things go a lot easier when we try to put on the other persons glasses. We might still disagree and probably will but it can be done without stereotyping.

For myself, I would really like some of the guys on here to be closer to my location cause they have shown themselves to be good friend material and let me also say I'm sure great husband material that the women here would do well to know.

caring
funny
dependable
honest
got your back
open minded

If someone sees these guys as negative they need to check their glasses cause they may be looking from the wrong angle. I recommend taking another look at the guys on here and see the depth of their personalities.

The true guys of mingle, I only wish I had more sisters to introduce you to. You win more of my respect and friendship with every post I read.

Women of mingle there are some real treasures here.

and people wonder why you are my hero...

I have definitely met men here who have those characteristics you've listed. I'm always happy to get to know new people as well. Lots of negativity is just a big turn off. I'm sure the men you're talking about are not always negative, though.

I am but your loyal servant me lord!

carry on...

I will take the men to the far side of the forest in search of women.

I've been on this site since 12/12/08 and I have'nt heard from you yet.