Now that I have put on a few pounds do I have to like big women? After my wife died I became depressed and gained a lot of weight. I am trying to lose it now. But it is hard to do. I pretty much only get messages from REALLY big women. I am not attracted to them at all. What am I supposed to do? I understand that most thin women are not going to really want to be with me and I am ok with that. But am I in the wrong for being turned off by big women?

Some thin women like bigger men but most like fit men.. Not only because it looks good, but because its healthy! yowsers! Just go work it off.. Its really not hard if you are eager to do it.. Specially if you want a bigger pool of women to choose from..




And your not wrong, you like what u like..

I am trying to work it off, but I am limited due to ruptured disk in my back. So I am limited to stationary bike and diet. Which makes it slow going. But hey I am trying! I do it for me not to attract women. I just want to be back to normal.

I don't think you HAVE to like anybody you're not naturally attracted to. I mean, you like who you like, and it can be a mistake to try to force yourself to go some other way, if size is the most important thing to you. Then again, some big women may have some wonderful personality traits that you might find attractive if you got to know them well enough to see past the size.

From a practical standpoint, I would think you'd have a better chance with "thin" women if you did appear more fit, like Cali said. That's not a knock against you, just a simple observation -- I would have to assume that more women in general, all across the board, would be attracted to a guy they perceived as more fit. It's certainly not the only factor, but it is A factor. Most people would like to be with someone who comes across as healthy.

But I would never advise anyone to "settle" for someone they didn't want, either, just to have someone around. That causes a lot of problems and resentments down the road, no one is really satisfied, and you end up putting a lot of time and effort into the wrong person and the wrong relationship.

I have learned it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person....just one guy's opinion....

That ruptured disc will be worse with extra weight put on it. That is reason enough to lose weight. Cut out the snacks and do 45 minutes a day on the bike. I have a recumbent bike that is a lot more comfortable to use. You sit in a comfortable seat in a reclined position. I also have one of those surgical tubing things with handles on both ends. Loop it around something in front of you like a post and do arm excercises while pedaling.

This will strengthen those back muscles and help the disk as well as get you back in shape!!

I agree with Lex and Cali...Don't settle for someone just to have one around. Been there done that...It does not work. If the girl does not turn you on...don't take her.

yea wut they said There are things you can do with a ruptured or herniated disc. People live normal lives, you know what u can do and cant. Get those latex or rubber bands like lakeman said, they make for good resistance, and you can use them at ur own speed, and add bands when your ready.. You can get them anywhere Target sells em cheap.. Oh and those big exercise balls are awesome for people with back and neck injuries, if you unsure consult ur doctor or physical therapist, they should of showed u how to use it already I would imagine..

And yes, dont settle, everyone deserves who they desire.
god bless...

Set your TV set up where you can watch while you are working out and time will go by much better!!

My bike is made so that you can exercise your arms too. I thought about doing weights but I haven't lost any of the muscle definition from my arms or chest. I just have a big gut now. I also didn't think I needed to gain muscle mass. I know that the extra weight doesn't help the back any! I am doing 45 to 50 minutes a day on the bike. Man depression can do a number on you if you let it.

I like guys that are fluffy, but a big heart has to be included.

You can try different ab excercises that don't hurt your back. You have to experiment with that. Swimming is a great all around excercise. Hit the pool and do some laps. It's good for the back.

u can do abs on the ball! your back is totally supported on it..

Cool Jade...but he has to get the weight off his injured back. I can't say which excercises to do for the back because I don't want to hurt you. Traction to pull apart the vertabrae and allow that disc to re-fill and go back in place would help.When my back goes out..I lay on my back, pull my knees to my chest then roll to the side while trying to keep the shoulders flat on the floor. That seems to help. Hang from a chin-up bar. It could give a bit of traction that way. You need to be pulled from your neck but you need a traction machine or a strong partner to do that for ya.

Abs on the ball will definitely work if the disc is not hurt bending that way.

Just remember..I'm not doctor..I just play one on TV.

I am not fluffy!!!!!! Oh man it won't let me do a frowny face! I am kind like a big bear! I have big arms, broad shoulders and now.... a big gut.I have no flab on my arms shoulders or legs. I have tried sit ups and man they hurt like hell now! I figure it will take a few months to get back where I was before. Hey it took my about 3 years to become like this!

High protein and low carb diet too. Cut out the breads and pastas, beer and other empty calories. Soda is loaded with sugar.

I would check with a physical therapist to see what you can do for the stomach exercises, crunches are likely good. I had a herniated disc years ago and they taught me some exercises that were good, but each person is different.

Have a good night.

Could be your metabolism is slowing down. Was your father big?? Some people have it in the genes. Take a morning walk and then do the exercises and watch your meals...don't eat till you are full... Cut back portions and drink water.

Good advice Lake. Genetics suck big time, like swimming up a waterfall if it is in your family genes.