I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??

Depending on how long ago it was it may not be worth mentioning. God busies these things in the deepest see, we shouldn't try to resurrect what has been dwelt with. Think about deleting this info.

I agree with you. I think he's being unrealistic.

People do change. It's not about what you did 5 years or 10 years or 20 years ago. That's gone, that's over.

I'm pretty adamant about not getting involved with anyone who drinks or uses drugs. But what they did in the past has nothing whatsoever to do with me now, today. As long as they're not doing it now, the past is the past.

I'll admit, if I met someone who confessed to past use, I'd want to be fairly certain in my own mind that they wouldn't relapse. Because that's a sure dead-end. But if they're serious about not using anymore, I can help with that decision....!

I don't think it's anything personal people are just afraid of what they don't understand and are not familiar with. Also, bad events can influence ones view and prevent them from seeing other sides of issues.

That's unfortunate because they hinder themselves from ever knowing some very wonderful people such as yourself.

This is my family here,( I no longer have any family) and I have shared this information here, and on my profile, for 4 years.I have nothing to hide.My Mingle family knows EVERYTHING about me, just like any other family would. I like to talk about it, because someone, somewhere ,might just quit after reading my words. I am not ashamed of my past, I am proud of who I am now, and happy for my future,!!

I think I just answered my own question.

he will never know you, and i don't think you should let that bother you. you have overcome so much, a beautiful person you are, his loss. some people may have tragic stories that revolved around something, in his case, maybe loss of others to drugs, and he's drawn a line in the sand. we all make choices. just be you, we love you!

Sounds like a disturbed man to me. Maybe he will find his way to the programming. I knew for me if it wasn't for the programming that on some days I could have went back to the lifestyle that I had before the programming. I wouldn't let it trouble you so. But for the grace of God there go I. Some do okay without programming as they have already be programmed to think a different way. As the big book tells us, "Our hats are off to them." I have been clean and sober for twenty seven years and come this November 11th it will be twenty eight years, God willing. Once I was an alien and could not imagine life without paint stripper and alcohol. How do they breathe this stuff called air? But after the programming readjustment I found I could fit back into society on the planet I was born into. His loss is all I can say.

Some maybe do keep people out of their lives, it's their choice.
It's not about you, don't take it personally sweetie.

People have different points of view in life. Don't expect everyone to like apples or to think the way other people do. We all here and everyone is different. If he puts in his profile, "NO REDHEADS, NO WHITE GIRL, NO ASIAN, AND NO GIRLS WITH MORE THEN 793,807 DOLLARS IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT" That's his choice, you can't force others to your will. It wasn't meant to happen. All you can do is keep your money and respect his privacy.

Thank you for your kind, and wise words, totage and Lex...

This just really bothered me!!

I know it shouldnt, but it did!

Im really not sure EXACTLY why I let this get under my skin.

You know how strong I am??

Thats why I put it on the table to talk to my family about!

But why did it hurt me so much???

Perhaps you felt judged by him because of what he wrote?

Congratulations brother!!! Thats wonderful news! I cant wait till I can say it will be 28 years for me too, and I will someday for sure!!

To give an alternate view (having not read the profile in question), perhaps he once had an unmentioned addiction himself. Maybe he had met too many "enablers" and felt the allure and pull of relapsing. And so now he just wants to insulate himself.

I've known people who have done cocaine, crack, or heroine. I refuse to touch any of it. I've done a few minor drugs, and I choose when and where to do them, which means I usually stay put in a private location. Some of those have kicked a habit I might date. Others I wouldn't. It's not about not being my type, but rather that I don't trust them to relapse based on what I know about them.

So, I wouldn't let that profile bother you. You know the truth about yourself. He doesn't. And if you could do it on your own, cold turkey, with little to no help, then I say more power to you! I wish I had that kind of will because I would have quit smoking years ago.

It hurts because it implies you have lesser value for having lived that lifestyle -- which is an error.

Your value has nothing to do with arbitrary standards a stranger has set up for his use in evaluating other people. Don't take it that way.

He cannot establish your value. Only you can do that.

Yeah, maybe,

I know it made me feel really crappy, and I know im being stupid. Its one mans opinion, and the only opinion I should care about of me, is God.

But I still feel alienated, separated,discriminated against,something. I just dont know what it is.

because you've worked so hard to be in a different place, YOU probably didn't like YOU back then. it's hard for some to believe people change, when in fact, they do, i know they do. you know they do. you did!! be proud, don't give that any power to hurt you. you did that to yourself enough already.

If you keep thinking about it, you will drive yourself nuts.

I tend to dwell on things that bother me. It's like I feel inadequate just because I don't "get" something. Truth is, the only thing making me feel that way is myself. So, it's better to let it go.

Ok,

I never thought of that explanation, and it could be really whats happening here.I never thought of him being addicted, because of the way he sounded,like anyone who ever used was dirt.

Thank you for opening my eyes to this.

See, this is why I do this!! Because I learn from all of you. Not to say,"Hey look at me, I quit drugs, I beat cancer,I quit smoking,and im bipolor, woo hoo!". Its because I need a family to talk to about things, and you guys are stuck being my family!

I understand that. I've had people get upset because they find things out about my past without asking me, but rather doing their own background checks. I've also had them get upset when I've told them things about my past. I've also met people who understand that the past is the past and what has been done is not what define us.

I don't hide my past either, and I'm not ashamed of it.