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Topic: Nice Guys
no photo
Mon 07/11/11 08:41 AM
Isn't a "nice guy" a subjective term?

Let's say I've just been asked by my girlfriend if the dress she is wearing makes her butt look big. Then we will assume it makes her butt look huge and also that this isn't the effect she is looking for. If I say "no honey, you look great" is that being nice? or would it be nice to say "actually, it makes your butt look huge"?

I'll normally go with the truth, which at times, makes me look like an a**hole. I'd rather her think I'm an a**hole for being honest than be the nice guy who let everyone snicker at her huge a** all night.

KerryO's photo
Mon 07/11/11 03:56 PM


If you're a guy who didn't exactly get dealt ladykiller looks by nature in the attractiveness department and a survivor, you learn to watch for the signs that 'she's just not that into you' and walk off into the sunset before even being asked. You learn to base your self worth on what good you've done with your life and your achievements NOT on how pretty a so-called 'mate' you have on your arm.

-Kerry O.


This is so true -- and I don't know if it's "wisdom" or just simple resignation, but I have reached the point where I can accept the idea that there just aren't going to be any more relationships for me. I understand that I don't need another person in order to function. I understand that my own worth does not have (and never did have) anything to do with my status as an adjunct to another person.




For me, it always seems to turn into some variation of ' "Repent Harlequin!" Said the TicktockWoman'.

-Kerry O., "A Harlan Ellison anti-hero in a Harley Davidson/ Norah Roberts world."

navygirl's photo
Tue 07/12/11 11:47 AM


If you're a guy who didn't exactly get dealt ladykiller looks by nature in the attractiveness department and a survivor, you learn to watch for the signs that 'she's just not that into you' and walk off into the sunset before even being asked. You learn to base your self worth on what good you've done with your life and your achievements NOT on how pretty a so-called 'mate' you have on your arm.

-Kerry O.


This is so true -- and I don't know if it's "wisdom" or just simple resignation, but I have reached the point where I can accept the idea that there just aren't going to be any more relationships for me. I understand that I don't need another person in order to function. I understand that my own worth does not have (and never did have) anything to do with my status as an adjunct to another person.




Yep, I feel the same way. :thumbsup:

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 02:26 PM
I find it really weird everyone talks about the definition of a nice person. A person is made from his actions and nothing more. For me personally, I like helping people out and is willing to step down from something to let another person go. Many people believe that is a nice person and maybe it is, but I also do many other things too. I enjoy playing games and boardgames so I can be competitive, and sometimes selfish when I want to get my food done first because I am in a rush.

A person is not just "nice" for the rest of their life. They are individuals who have years to discover themselves and more to follow.

Nice can also be considered a type of morality so being nice means the opposite of mean so hurting people and creating negativity are not what a "nice person" does.

dconexion's photo
Tue 07/12/11 02:55 PM
I'm nice with my friends, my family, my girlfriend, my neighbors, my colleagues ... and that's my limit.

Anyone suggesting I should be nicer is just abusive

Any nice guys ever get screwed over? Present!

So in time we realize that the real nice guys hide themselves more and more for self preservation, and people make a lot of noise about supposedly nice guys who in fact are just copying the real nice guys they have helped push to the side.

Am I a frustrated nice guy or what?

I stopped being an openly nice guy when I realized that tons of violent guys are getting the grade...just shows women don't really want a nice guy.

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