There are really two sides to this. The first, is sparing people's feelings. The idea is, why hurt someone's feelings if you really don't have to?

On the other hand, isn't it a bit unethical to essentially lie to a person, hiding your true feelings from them?

I'm sorta stuck in the middle on this one. I'm all for honesty, because I like the idea of giving people the ability to make decisions, but lately, I've seen that people are generally incapable of making them once given to them.

Telling the truth is brutal, avoiding the issue is just that - Avoidance.

I'm thinking there's no right way to go about this, but I want to see what you guys think.

I would think i would be more ethical just to say, "I simply do not want to talk." and leave it at that.

ALthough I don't nessarely hate anybody, even my enemies. I try to give all people respect, but there is a rule. " Don't let anybody take advantage of you.

Hate is way too dark of a place for me. Count me out.

Can't get away from the person?

I'd probably tell him he's an ***, and to just stay away from me.

ethical? hmm,, always a term that seems too vague for me

just about anything outside of pedophilia, theft, battery, and murder are acceptable in these times if it makes us feel 'good' or 'better'

so if its how you truly feel, I doubt ethics has much to do with it


BUT I do think its more HONEST to express ourself in more precise terms that at least give one someplace to start in addressing what the 'problems' are,, if possible

I HATE you just seems to have no real purpose but to hurt, very impersonal and unexplanatory, really,,,

Telling them you hate them is probably a little over the top. You don't have to pretend to like them. But maybe a little softer approach is better?

You should be able to balance honesty with a little human compassion and not completely destroy someone else (even if you DO hate them...take the high road!)

Ethical to tell someone you hate them? Well it is being truthful and honest so I see it as ethical. The thing is do you really hate that person?

"Hate" is a very strong word. I don't go their either.

What's wrong with being honest and letting them know you dislike them? Just because it hurts their feelings, it's wrong? I don't think so.

1. what do you hope to gain by purposefully hurting another?
2. what makes your perception of a situation any more or less valid than theirs?
3. your judgement of them doesn't make it true
4. why do they trigger you - the people who push our buttons the most offer us an opportunity for some pretty amazing personal insights if we are open and pay attention.


We can all speak our truth without being mean, without causing harm, without being brutal. That is not avoidance. That is honouring truth.

Your ethics are personal ... your own moral compass. We each choose what is appropriate for us. Causing harm is never part of mine.

Rather than beat people into submission, I'd rather coach them into competence then inspire them to greatness.

That's really the crux, isn't it? The latter part is the grade-school bully rationale. He chides the outcast kid because he smells bad and is sociallly inept. You confront him about it. His answer? "Well, it's true"!

Hate is harsh. I only hate like one or two people in this world, and possibly only one. I said I hate you----

If you are having regrets on whether to say to them I hate you, chances are you dont really hate them, because if you really did hate them, you would have no problem saying it to their face and risk hurting their feelings...

Not something i toss around like "that's cool"

your question seemed to be in general.

No need to express such things in general.

If you are talking about an individual, again there is no need to express such a negative strong emotion.
There are ways to communicate how you feel with tact. Being honest and forthright can be done without being hurtful. gosh, i know plenty of folks who think being blunt (and rude) is being honest...but I think that is just being cruel.
Have tact and decorum and they will get the idea, and never be able to say you are a jerk...they may even respect you for it.

my 2 cents

Just try to be 1% of her...u will never get worried with such questions again for sure

Hating someone is our memtal inability ....why to make him/her unhappy for our inabililty??

Haha, That kinda' B&W thinkin' gets me stuck sometimes too... just move on with your life... speed-bumps are just there to caution you to slow down... not stop.