preparing to ravish Maid Marian]
Sheriff of Rottingham: “A chastity belt! That's going to chafe my willy!

-Men in Tights

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the *****, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days"


Kevin Costner as Crash Davis - Bull Durham

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

Groucho Marx
Animal Crackers
1930

Eroticism is like a dance: one always leads the other.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

-Love and death

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
Charlton Heston Planet of the Apes1968


"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Humphrey Bogart Casablanca 1942

Api: "You coming?"

Joanne: "I wouldn't ride with you if you were the last man on Earth."

Api: "I'm workin' on it."


- The Quiet Earth

"I got a Harley-Davidson. Does that turn you on? Harley-Davidson?"

- The Bad New Bears '76

"I drive my first car at nine. I overhaul my first transmission at ten. At thirteen I turn the quarter mile in under 12 seconds...and I wait till now to get laid? "


- Corvette Summer

"Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"


Katharine Hepburn
On Golden Pond
1981

I'd rather end up a truck stop diner waitress wearing pineapple
earrings than be married to a corpse, at least I'd feel alive.


Caroline - The Ref

"My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you."


George M. Cohan
James Cagney
Yankee Doodle Dandy
1942

We have no FOOD,
We have no JOB,
We have no GIRLFRIENDS,
OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Eduard Delacroix: I thank you. Mr. Jingles thank you, my mom would thank you too but she's dead.

The Green Mile

I can’t believe I just gave my panties to a geek


Molly Ringwald - Sixteen Candles

Elizabeth: "Spiders don't eat other spiders."

Virginia: "Cannibal spiders do."

- Spider Baby

Terry: "Budster, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish, and she's all yours."

Buddy: "Sounds too kinky for me."

Terry: "Buddy, she needs you. I need you. You need her."

Buddy: "Is she really half-naked?"

Terry: "Maybe more by now."

Buddy: "What if you're lying?"

Terry: "What if I'm not?"

Buddy: "Good point - if I'm not back in a week, forward my mail."

- Just One Of The Guys

"You probably noticed my servant has no hands. God was angry with him because he behaved abominably. God punished him. He lost his hands. The Devil has his hands now."

- Deafula

"...You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here."
Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver (1976)

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."


Lauren Bacall
To Have and Have Not
1944