There is a girl from my church that I have known for several years that I have been "crushing on" for quite a while. We lead a bible study together at a group home for emotionally disabled people, go to Small Group Bible study together, go to a Recovery Ministry together, and go to DBT group therapy together. She told me today that she has had a crush on me for a long time. At this point, I of course told her I have felt the same way. I am ecstatic, as you can imagine, but I am afraid that it could interfere with the various groups and responsibilities we are a part of. What are your thoughts?

why would it interfere?

Well a part of me is afraid that something will change. It may be an irrational fear, but it's still there.

think of it this way

growth requires change,, if you truly want the relationship to evolve, change is inevitable

so is the fear of it not working out,, but thats a risk we decide to take

Choices Choices.

Lets look at this way, if, and this is a big if, you had to give up your groups and move on to other groups to have the relationship with her. Would you?

If you would not give them up if you had to to have the relationship with her, I would think it through a bit better.

If you would give up the groups for her then go for it and if you do good luck.

Sometimes people can't work together but it doesn't mean they shouldn't be together.

Just make sure you put Christ first in the relationship, it should work out. It sounds like you two have been lead together, take the blessing.

I think what you are really afraid of is if the relationship doesn't work out that then you will not be able to continue working with the groups while she is still there.

What you have to do is "man up", stand in the door and make a leap of faith.

ok, i'm going to take a break from my traditional type of response and give one that will hopefully be beneficial.

it would seem that your religion has been a big part of both of your lives without the two of you being in a relationship. as such, it should still be a big part of both of your lives if you are in a relationship. i believe that if the two of you take your religion seriously, then you shouldn't pursue any activity together that goes against your religion. as you are dating, always question if your next course of action is in line with your beliefs. if not, take a step back and discuss it with each other and go from there. it seems that your religion is your primary concern and therefore you shouldn't do anything that would strain your relationship with your god. if she's of the same mind, you two shouldn't have any major problems. and if things don't work out you can just say that your god didn't have it in his plan for the two of you to be together and just accept it.

i hope this helps. i'm not religious, but i know what it means to have principles and morals. and i know how it feels when you compromise those things for the sake of being with someone you're attracted to.


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