Being naturally inquisitive, the question keep popping into my mind; why are marriages today not working out, especially as against the generation of our parents. i don't have all the answers. somebody help me!!?

Human Nature, and social acceptability.

The grass is always greener. We (as humans) always think there is something better out there. That isn't a bad trait, it is what got us to the moon.

& It is more and more socially acceptable now, so there is no reason not to.

What I find more interesting is that marriage seems to be so rare at all these days. I have actually had conversations with men who claim they are ready for fatherhood but not marriage....HUH! !

Fatherhood is FOREVER, but as we all know...marriage is NOT!

I think we have become a disposable society. Doesn't fit, throw it out. Not the latest, out it goes. Something shiney, trade up. No one takes the time to see the value in what they have or wants to work to keep it.

Just my opinion.

people try it and don't like it or people feel they have to get married then when it don't work out they get a divorce and repeat the revolving door process,ya know meet someone get married doesn't work divorce again,personally i find marriage overrated and not necessary.

I think the answer lies in how selfish people are these days. On the other hand people were a lot more tolerant to behavior most of would not stand for in this day an age.

there is a general feeling of discontentment for many right now....
there are shifts happening and most don't understand what, how
and why their feeling the way they are

it's spilling over into relationships in a big way

Because alot of people don't know who they are or what they are looking for within another. They only think they know.

I wld say d meaning of marriage( an oath b4 GOD & man 2 love n cherish in sickness n in health TILL DEATH DO US PART ) has been lost thanks 2 civilisation it has become too easy 2 tell another I love u.

Would agree with Ladylid some.

I know personally, watching my father become nastier as he gets older and my mother become more miserable has also had a lot to do for why I have no interest in marriage.

I can basically do most everything myself, and where once a husband might have been able to offset some of the know-how, it's easier to hire someone, since hubbies aren't going to get off their lazy arses anymore.

Short of companionship and intimacy, I really don't see the point anymore. And I get better companionship out of my animals. Intimacy is at this point in time, a take it or leave it thing. Either way, it doesn't mean he has to marry ya, move in and live with you.

values

from childhood we (usually)learn what is 'expected' or what 'life' is from what we witness in our homes. Add to that media re inforcement and we get the social values of the culture.


our parents had (mostly) parents who stayed together for a lifetime.They mostly had a parent who nurtured them at home and a parent who provided for them away from home. They mostly had two parents working together as a team. They had a culture which encouraged the roles within a family(ie respecting the parents/elders, teaching and nurturing the youth). They mostly had commmunities where the neighbors shared and tried to help each other in maintaining such a structure. They mostly had a culture(media) which ENCOURAGED And PROMOTED mostly the idea of couples staying together for a lifetime, and a commonly held value about the commitment involved in sexual relations

this was the 'norm' for our parents, this was what they (mostly) worked towards in life(amongst other things)


fast forward to the me generation

we saw a change in all of that. We saw the philosophy of 'equality' between parents and children. We saw the philosophy of sex as mostly entertainment or a means to an ends. We saw the end (many times for economic reasons) of the one parent home and one parent working cultural norm. Women started trying to be like men in many of the wrong ways (sexual liberation). Men stopped encouraging other men to stick with one woman for life. The media became LAMBASTED with sexual images and suggestions that equate sex to nothing more than an immediate gratification , like buying your favorite flavor of ice cream. 'TRADITIONAL' values started being outsold by the 'new' values . Rebellion started to make real money to where it was no longer rebellion but the new 'norm' and the old 'norms' became

'outdated', 'bigoted', 'repressive',,etc,,,,,


THATS what I think happened anyway,just my personal observation

I think a married couple should be able to communicate very openly, otherwise no wonder they divorce. Just don't divorce the way Katie Price does is all i'm gonna say. XD

and this too..lol

I think it was a more common trend in our parents age to truly get to 'know' another person before 'committing' in a relationship, getting to know their values, getting to know them around their friends, getting to know them around their family...and knowing what you want in a partner

now all they know is how the other is in the bed or with a drink in them....lol

now they sometimes have never even met each others friends or relatives, and they date for maybe a month or two before tying the knot,,,,they move too fast and know too little,,,hoping it will all stand on 'love'

now its more of a game with all these 'rules', that are deceptive from the start


few things can last which start out in deception

The reason 'our' parents stayed together is because it was not
socially acceptable to be divorced...not so sure they were all
living in bliss.

Even now there are some ideas about divorce...particularly
with in religious beliefs.

Also, once women got out of the house and found they could
earn their own money there was some realization that I don't
have to stay here just to have a bed and meals...

I dont think bliss was mentioned....lol Plenty of single and divorced people arent living in 'bliss' either.

changing values(good or bad), changed our homes and our divorce rate,,,

Change is the one constant...
it's time for change, big change!

change is a requirement of growth

but there are changes that also implement regression as well as progression

Wow, I don't have anything to really say on this one...

Ladylid, EquusDancer, and MsHarmony already said it all for me. I believe it is a combination of the things all three have said.

The only thing I might add is that for the past 13 years or so, our country has been going through a period of economic upheaval (going back to Enron). This is going to affect some families more than others, but marriage and finance go hand-in-hand.

Oh yeah, I can definitely agree with you on the economy, Lynx!! That certainly hasn't helped either!

divorce was once upon a time frowned upon and couples were pressured into staying married either by their peers, religion and/or society and generally the woman didn't have that many means of support other than the husband

today the only reason to stay married is for the kids provided that the couple in question can do this without killing each other or turning the kids nuts with bickering

I was married 33 years. It got t6o where my wife and I greww farthewr and farther apart. Neither of us cheated , or drank. We just fought more and more until we were miserable.