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Topic: Pain...
axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:10 PM
...when successfully overcome can make someone stronger enough for another battle in life.

Can pain caused by brokenheart love make someone a better lover or a bitter lover?

Sure hope it would make me a better lover next time :smile:

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:42 PM
I think that successfully overcoming it can make one stronger.. Giving into bitterness and holding a grudge will only make one weaker...

lilott's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:43 PM
In my case bitter because of 2 failed marriages.

axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:47 PM

I think that successfully overcoming it can make one stronger.. Giving into bitterness and holding a grudge will only make one weaker...


That's what I strongly believe too. And any negative emotion can easily crush anybody. Really don't wanna dwell on it myself :cry:

Thanks drinker

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:48 PM


I think that successfully overcoming it can make one stronger.. Giving into bitterness and holding a grudge will only make one weaker...


That's what I strongly believe too. And any negative emotion can easily crush anybody. Really don't wanna dwell on it myself :cry:

Thanks drinker


bitterness comes from not accepting that we made mistakes as well..

Feel better Axl, time heals everything if you allow it.. flowerforyou

axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:49 PM

In my case bitter because of 2 failed marriages.


Sorry to hear that but I really hope this won't stop you from looking at its brighter side, I'm sure it has one. flowerforyou

axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 10:51 PM
Edited by axl_rose40 on Fri 04/15/11 10:52 PM

bitterness comes from not accepting that we made mistakes as well..

Feel better Axl, time heals everything if you allow it.. flowerforyou

----------------
Thank you so much, IndnPrncs. I guess you got me there.

josie68's photo
Fri 04/15/11 11:04 PM


In my case bitter because of 2 failed marriages.


Sorry to hear that but I really hope this won't stop you from looking at its brighter side, I'm sure it has one. flowerforyou


Yep I have 2 failed marrages as well, but there where good times in them that I hold onto, I also have 6 wonderful children, who I have with me.
Only remember the good, learn from the bad but dont let it have a hold on your life .
I now know that what I felt for my two husbands was affection but not love, they never held my heart. and obviously I didnt hold theirs.
Now I have someone who holds my heart in his hands and I know he will treasure it.
But if I hadnt allowed myself to live, be happy and trust again, I would never have been able to let him inside to love me..
Bitterness only hurts yourself and those close to you, the people who have left dont care. so dont punish yourself.

no photo
Fri 04/15/11 11:08 PM
Failed relationships often help the broken hearted to be a better future lover. The down side is when one feels unworthy of anyone after the relationship has ended. Or worse yet no one wants the discarded man.

axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 11:12 PM



In my case bitter because of 2 failed marriages.


Sorry to hear that but I really hope this won't stop you from looking at its brighter side, I'm sure it has one. flowerforyou


Yep I have 2 failed marrages as well, but there where good times in them that I hold onto, I also have 6 wonderful children, who I have with me.
Only remember the good, learn from the bad but dont let it have a hold on your life .
I now know that what I felt for my two husbands was affection but not love, they never held my heart. and obviously I didnt hold theirs.
Now I have someone who holds my heart in his hands and I know he will treasure it.
But if I hadnt allowed myself to live, be happy and trust again, I would never have been able to let him inside to love me..
Bitterness only hurts yourself and those close to you, the people who have left dont care. so dont punish yourself.

You are always an inspiration to others josie68. Thank you for being such a sweet person as you are

axl_rose40's photo
Fri 04/15/11 11:34 PM

Failed relationships often help the broken hearted to be a better future lover. The down side is when one feels unworthy of anyone after the relationship has ended. Or worse yet no one wants the discarded man.


Everyone should be worthy of someone drinker One's worth can be up to as high as one thinks of himself. You are right, no one will want someone who make less of himself.

Thank you for your post.flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:07 AM

...when successfully overcome can make someone stronger enough for another battle in life.

Can pain caused by brokenheart love make someone a better lover or a bitter lover?

Sure hope it would make me a better lover next time :smile:


Yes, it can. You learn to appreciate the good only after you experience the bad, in my opinion. :)

no photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:13 AM

I think that successfully overcoming it can make one stronger.. Giving into bitterness and holding a grudge will only make one weaker...
SOMEHOW here,,when I read your words Joy,,and see you face,,I just want to rip the guys heart out who PUNCHED YOU IN THOSE LIPS AND MADE THEM SWELL like this..........laugh laugh










Rose,,,,many become bitter to THAT species they were hurt by,,,BUT,,many also LEARN through their pains to grow within,,and to know what their hurt WAS,,but also to know IT WAS THE ACTIONS OF ONLY ONE WRONG PERSON,,not EVERY person could be THAT way,,,
Me,,,I have been hurt much more than given Peace and loyalty to..BUT,,THATS ALSO partially MY FAULTS as to allow that to happen.
So I go on,,and I HOPE and wish for BETTER IN THE NEXT ONE to ever find,,or be found,,by one who wouldn't be LIKE THAT OTHER...
Yet we ALL have to go forward,,or stay forever in hurt and fear that locks us away from maybe truly finding the one who CAN be ALL THAT in our lives.....:heart: drinker flowerforyou :banana:

no photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:24 AM


Failed relationships often help the broken hearted to be a better future lover. The down side is when one feels unworthy of anyone after the relationship has ended. Or worse yet no one wants the discarded man.


Everyone should be worthy of someone drinker One's worth can be up to as high as one thinks of himself. You are right, no one will want someone who make less of himself.

Thank you for your post.flowerforyou


You are right, some would call it a rut, others call it a lack of self worth. It happens to many in failed relationships. Not knowing how to re-integrate into the dating pool, how to readjust to the changed world. These uncertainties sometimes manifest themselves as loss of self worth and self degradation.

axl_rose40's photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:24 AM


...when successfully overcome can make someone stronger enough for another battle in life.

Can pain caused by brokenheart love make someone a better lover or a bitter lover?

Sure hope it would make me a better lover next time :smile:


Yes, it can. You learn to appreciate the good only after you experience the bad, in my opinion. :)


Thank you red_lace. It's nice hearing it from others to make me remember there's always a better side to every experience we had.

axl_rose40's photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:33 AM


Rose,,,,many become bitter to THAT species they were hurt by,,,BUT,,many also LEARN through their pains to grow within,,and to know what their hurt WAS,,but also to know IT WAS THE ACTIONS OF ONLY ONE WRONG PERSON,,not EVERY person could be THAT way,,,
Me,,,I have been hurt much more than given Peace and loyalty to..BUT,,THATS ALSO partially MY FAULTS as to allow that to happen.
So I go on,,and I HOPE and wish for BETTER IN THE NEXT ONE to ever find,,or be found,,by one who wouldn't be LIKE THAT OTHER...
Yet we ALL have to go forward,,or stay forever in hurt and fear that locks us away from maybe truly finding the one who CAN be ALL THAT in our lives.....:heart: drinker flowerforyou :banana:


Thank you so much, Terry. I wouldn't even think of keeping a grudge for the man as he has been so good to me. We both may have mismanaged our expectations and the thing that hurts me more is the fact that he is hurting too. Couldn't pain me more when I hurt somebody I care for but can't do anything because I know I have to stop. ohwell :cry:

no photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:40 AM
Edited by red_lace on Sat 04/16/11 12:41 AM


Thank you red_lace. It's nice hearing it from others to make me remember there's always a better side to every experience we had.


You're welcome, axl_rose. Sometimes when the pain is too fresh, we don't necessarily see the good of the experience. I think that's why we ask for opinions of others, even strangers, because they can see it without the hindrance of pain. Then when they point it out, that's the time we see it too. In every relationship that did not work out for me, I learned to appreciate the qualities of the next one that comes along, better. It also gave me a deeper understanding on how to accept my faults and be the kind of person that I want to be. :)

axl_rose40's photo
Sat 04/16/11 12:41 AM





You are right, some would call it a rut, others call it a lack of self worth. It happens to many in failed relationships. Not knowing how to re-integrate into the dating pool, how to readjust to the changed world. These uncertainties sometimes manifest themselves as loss of self worth and self degradation.


It's not a nice thing but I guess there are those who shy away from a new relationship because of the exact thing. Almost happened to me in the past but thought better of it thinking life is too grand for me to sulk. I just hope this time is not different for me. happy

axl_rose40's photo
Sat 04/16/11 01:05 AM



Thank you red_lace. It's nice hearing it from others to make me remember there's always a better side to every experience we had.


You're welcome, axl_rose. Sometimes when the pain is too fresh, we don't necessarily see the good of the experience. I think that's why we ask for opinions of others, even strangers, because they can see it without the hindrance of pain. Then when they point it out, that's the time we see it too. In every relationship that did not work out for me, I learned to appreciate the qualities of the next one that comes along, better. It also gave me a deeper understanding on how to accept my faults and be the kind of person that I want to be. :)


I like this perspective, red_lace. Very positive. Thanks for sharing.

soufiehere's photo
Sat 04/16/11 07:24 AM
"Derevaun seraun"

Latin, for:
(The end of pleasure is pain)


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