i agree. to me, if you're thinking about asking other women out and it becomes something that your partner "found out", unhealthy relationship existed, kids or not.

becoming a 'father' figure in a relationship is tricky. you need to make sure that is a place you are qualified for, not just by the kids but the mother. i don't think it should ever be a balancing act, more a joint venture that the two of you have talked about.

Ditto you tell me your thinking about asking another woman out and your dating me.....Shshs get real I would tell ya right there and then to hit the road maybe she figured a few more free meals ect is what he owes her after that comment.....

i guess i should have started dating a couple years before i met her then i would have been more experienced, she was my first real relationship other than small talk. I guess being honest about your thoughts is bad even if the other person says they are your friend. So what does a single mother really value in a guy who didn't father her child/children?

Do single mothers expect to find a guy that will except there baggage, thru sacrificing the time and feelings of the baggage. I know singles mothers have alot on their plate with kids and working, but why should any guy even try with a woman if she can't keep it together. He didn't bring the problems to her life, but maybe he just wanted to help take the problems away and like her in the same motion.

I don't think being honest about your thoughts is bad. I'd much rather a guy came right out and told me he wanted to see other people rather than going out and doing it. I hate deception and lies of any kind, but I'm accused of being too honest, and most people don't like honesty. I don't consider thoughts to be cheating, but as you see, I'm in the great minority. As usual.

I'm not a mother so I have no idea what they want. I would assume they want what most women want- a decent, kind-hearted, hard-working man who will care about them and treat them and their children with love and respect. But like I said, I have no children, so I'm only guessing.

And I agree that experience makes you "smarter" in dating; I was late out of the gate, too and made a lot of mistakes because of it. Just chalk this experience up to a lesson learned.

So, YOU were honest in telling her
you wanted to date others.
SHE was honest in rejecting you for it.
What was the problem again?

after her reaction to what i said i decided i would just date her, then she left....... but ever since she wanted to stay friends and have me be there for the kids as there father because of the good bond that happened. but every couple of months she got these feelings of wanting to be with me (i think because she saw how happy the kids were) so i was glad because i still liked her and was still interested in trying. so we get back togheter and break up month or 2 later on her part. The problem is she is on some kind of rollercoaster one month she wants me the next she wants to be single, then the next month she wants her ex husband. it really quite stupid, i will always be on my guard if a woman with children ever wants to date me again. it sad

Ok....am slowly getting a picture here...

You 'kind of fell' into a relationship with this woman...

You thought perhaps you might look elsewhere...

You stayed 'friends' with this woman, because she liked the way you were with her kids?...and every now and again...she got all romantic, cause you played...'good daddy'?

You refer to children as 'baggage'...


You are attempting to classify this relationship as something you were almost a reluctant participant in, and some kind of innocent victim...

...and then have the hide to refer to children as baggage!


Mate....YOU went there, YOU wanted to go elsewhere, and YOU played nice with the kids!


YOU need to own your own crap....and if you think of children as baggage....you'll always fall on your arse around women with children...

Do you think we CHOSE to be impregnated, and raise these kids alone?

Do you honestly think we organised this with the outcome of being single parents?

Some may have....MOST don't.

If I ever saw someone like you sniffing around my daughters, I would put the hose on you, set the dog on you, and THEN set their older brother on you, after I have kicked your arse down the street!


GROW UP...WAKE UP....and take your pity party elsewhere.