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| Topic: Pick Up lines and replies. | |
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Last friday i was at the mall when this guy approached and asked me 'Where are you hiding your wings' and i was like 'sorry?' And he said you must be an angel sent to watch over us.I then laughed hystericaly coz he had an accent.lol Well... you know, Angels are not Americans or English or Aussies. Their mother tongue is Hebrew. God, for instance, speaks Hebrew with a Swahili accent. He is the Father, and mankind's origin was in Olduvai. Jesus does not speak English. That's why there are different bible translations, and that's why the bible does not make sense in English, my Father assured me. If you read it in the original Hebrew or in any other language that you don't speak, the bible is infallible. That's why all over RC Europe for nearly two-thousand years, the language of the Liturgy was in Latin, so it would make sense to the flock. No man alive who was not clergy ever spoke Latin since Attila the Hung. |
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i like riding up to bus stops on my motorcycle and saying to any girl that is waiting there, "it's obvious you need a ride, and i'm going that way". has worked every time so far, but there are times i wish it had not I hear you. I do that on my bicycle. Two takers so far, out of about 387 attempts. When they sit on the horizontal part of the frame, between the seat and the steering bar, I say this is a ladies' frame. They say, "that's okay, coz I am not very much a woman. ...actually, come to think of it, not at all." |
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OK,,BAD ONE LINERS,,,
I WOULD JUST SLEEP WITH YOU,,BUT SOMEHOW I know,,YOU'Djust LIKE IT!... Excuse me, could you use me for tonight? Did you know I dance for kisses.... IF I took all my clothes off right here, right now,,,would you cover me? Your lips ,,,I couldn't help but notice,,,they look as if they need company.... OK,,its your decision,,ITs ALL UP TO YOU,,, WHAT? IF my pants start to get tighter......... IF I asked you if you were horny,,Could you PROVE-IT?   |
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i like riding up to bus stops on my motorcycle and saying to any girl that is waiting there, "it's obvious you need a ride, and i'm going that way". has worked every time so far, but there are times i wish it had not Note to self, take the bus more.   
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OK,,BAD ONE LINERS,,, I WOULD JUST SLEEP WITH YOU,,BUT SOMEHOW I know,,YOU'Djust LIKE IT!... Excuse me, could you use me for tonight? Did you know I dance for kisses.... IF I took all my clothes off right here, right now,,,would you cover me? Your lips ,,,I couldn't help but notice,,,they look as if they need company.... OK,,its your decision,,ITs ALL UP TO YOU,,, WHAT? IF my pants start to get tighter......... IF I asked you if you were horny,,Could you PROVE-IT? The worst one I ever heard was "If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust my nut in your hole??" 
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Here's another one. I'll walk up to a woman with ample cleavage on display, cover her chest with a napkin and say, "That's just not fair! How can I be expected to carry on an intelligent conversation with that kind of distraction going on?" Then introduce myself and start a conversation. It always gets a smile.
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I once had a man say to me 'hey, cool hair. Does the carpet match the drapes? ...can I find out?' The first time it happened I was taken aback and kind of just scurried off with my friend (her response being 'at least he thought you were attractive') The next time it happened I was a little more prepared and replied with "does that line actually work? or is is just a way of you trying to retain whatever dignity you might have had left after your boyfriend dumped you? Because in that case I think you need a stronger approach." Looking back, if the guy had been able to stand his ground rather than retreat with his tail between his legs I probably would've ****ed him on the spot. Happened to me once before to, but my response was "Well, it's not like I'll ever be drunk enough for you to find out." At least it made his friends chuckle a lot. Kinda made my night too. :) |
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I was sitting outside looking up at the sky when a 20-something woman came up to me. Her: " I just broke down over there, Could you come help me out?" Me: "I know next to nothing about cars ma'am but Ill push it for you at least." Her: "I think you can help me just fine. Here my engine is in the back, can you let the backseat down?" I crawl in the backseat and let down the back seat, there is no engine. Me: " Solo un momento guapa, didn't you say your car broke down?" Doors lock. Her: " No I said that I broke down. Now I hope you don't mind but you're about to revv my engine and I plan to pump on your piston until you run out of oil." Strangest. Day. Ever. Damn I need to run into something like that some day! |
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You must wipe with Maple leaves because your A$$ is so sweet!
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"Excuse me, I'm diabetic and bottoming out, You're so sweet, can you kiss me and save my life?"
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Edited by
Tom4Uhere
on
Wed 10/02/19 05:55 PM
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Have you noticed that everytime you 'go behind the bushes' it turns into a berry patch?
Lets jam! |
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Hi, I'm a dance instructor.
Would you like me to teach you the moves to "Ookie, Mooki Moo, Moo, RahhhhhhHH!" |
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Hello, I noticed you have elbows. I have elbows too. I think we were made for each other.
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Here, hold this...
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"are you feeling cold or are you just happy to see me?"
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Hi, I feel kinda silly asking you this but...Can I have my breath back?
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Hi, I am with the special investigative taskforce looking into some thefts in this establishment. Do you have a licence for that breath-taking beauty?
Can you show ownership for any of those hearts you have taken and is there a number I might call if I have further questions? |
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Seriously tho, I have a special edition bathtub. Come with me and I'll prove it.
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Edited by
Tom4Uhere
on
Wed 10/02/19 06:28 PM
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Seriously, after we get mom's diaper changed and she's down for the night, we have the place to ourselves!
Added when needed: I have wine! |
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Hi, I'm a professor trying to discover new elements for the Periodic Table of Sex. Would you like to be my research assistant?
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