It's hard to get divorced in four weeks without a judge but I'll work on it,,,,never asked for a babysitter...just friends,,but thanks for the output.

I've been separated for nine months and I am raising a special needs little boy, and my eighteen year old son who is still in high school. I had to move right after my husband and I separated. I have talked to a counselor, and invested my time in going to church and Sunday school offers a little me time plus I am able to meet other people and get a support system. Having a support system is certainly very helpful. I am also taking online college classes and working from home. I totally understand how hard it can seem when the rug is pulled out from beneath you, but the best advice I can offer is give yourself time to let the dust settle. Focus on what 'you' can do instead of what she isn't doing. Time heals all so just take it one day at a time, otherwise you become overwhelmed.
I wish you the very best. hang in there... it will get better!

that's not the point - it just seems like things are pretty iffy from a female perspective, with you right now

men NEVER look on dating sites for women as :friends" we weren't born yesterday either - but starting as friends to just see where things go is fine. Just that at the point you're at in your life I think women who are earnestly searching for a partner may view you as not suitable for that at this time - not that you aren't a nice person - just your situation right now- I am also divorced so I know that it's not an easy transition

and I did not mean that you are asking for babysitters here but when you are ready to start dating you need to have a supply of them because 1. your date deserves your full attention, and 2. you really do not want to give your date the impression that you are looking for a substitute "Mom" - unless that is what you want- even so in the beginning, see #1.

You say 'mom out of state' but have repeatedly referenced moving back...i'm assuming kids in tow. Seems to me you took the kids away from the mom, not vice versa

Sounds like because she had an affair, and don't blame you for being pissed...but at the same time looks (at least to some women, and my gf agrees with me) that you are now looking for a 'fling'/'rebound'

I'd have to agree with these comments. I'm upfront in saying I don't want a man with kids, because I don't want to deal with the hassle of kids and ex. Plus, since I have been careful to not have kids of my own, I don't want an automatic family.

Not to mention the whole thing is confusing. Is she your wife and those are her kids and she's ignoring them? Or is this some woman you were dating and you expect her to want to deal with your kids? Or does she have her own kids and is ignoring them?!

It sounds like you're too busy wanting to move on to another adult instead of taking the time to deal with your kids.

And with regards to the comment on animals. Do you really want someone who is willing to throw away an animal because they are inconvenient? Because that sounds like what is essentially what is being asked. And if she truly cares about her animals, then it really ends up making you look bad for expecting it. Would you throw away your kids for a relationship?

not enough information

are you married? is she on vacation? did she move? have you tried counseling? does she/you WANT to work it out?

YES, I have just one and its IMPOSSIBLE to meet people because I have noone else to watch her and my health is not currently the best


,,have the integrity to always be honest with your self and others,, weigh the pros and cons for you (and your children) , talk to their mom about it, decide whether you are going to work on the relationship with her or not and then MOVE ON THE DECISION,,,,,worst thing to do is stay stuck in limbo,,its the hardest place to get out of,,,

I agree with one of the commments that you received from "Totage" that you should really give yourself time to heal otherwise the next female that you meet is going to be like a rebound. I am a 45 yr young single mother so I know how hard it can be. I have four, however, two of mine are grown and on their own and the other two are home with me. I put most of my time into them and when I need alone time I go to the movies by myself or I go out to eat by myself. You have to take some "ME" time and take time to love yourself. Then when you have healed, find a good babysitter that you can trust and do something for yourself. And when u least expect it that woman that is just right for you will show up.....I am waiting for my "Mr. Right" to show up and I don't believe that shivvery is dead. There is someone out there for you that you deserve. Just hold on and have faith and trust God!!!