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Topic: Failed Marriages
no photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:22 PM
As the saying goes "There are the women you take home to mom and the ones you don't". I've always been with the latter. (I guess that would explain four marriages.) Anyway I finally started talking to a counsler and found out what should have been obvious. It seems my perfect match is a conservative women and not the other kind. I don't know where these "coservative" women exist...maybe church (don't think thats going to happen).

I did like married life but I might be doomed to short term passionate relationships. Is that really so bad? I don't know.

Anyone else been in two or more marraiges? Do you have any idea why they failed? Do yo think you will try again?

newtosatsuma's photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:28 PM
They are hard work and after two I have resigned myself to the fact that some people are ment to be married and some are not (I am in the second). I don't think that makes me a bad person or shallow I just think that unless both people are willing to put 100% into it, it is doomed from the start. I really do not think I will do it again as the hurt is painful for both parties. I never want to experience pain like that again.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:29 PM
I've had 2 marriages and i'll marry again, i can hear many disgusted people in the background bawcking at me LOL. 1st marriage was insane lasted 5yrs. second marriage lasted 18 yrs forthe sake of my youngest son.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:40 PM
Marriage is a lot of work, but I'm not sure that it needs to be that way all the time. I probably won't marry again, at the same time I'm not ready to lie down and die either.
I have children too with two marraiges. Its a little work sometimes arranging visitations and such...overall not that bad. Better than them being in a rough relationship where the air is always thick with doom. Just my thoughts on the matter.

newtosatsuma's photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:43 PM
i agree with you that there should not be the doom and gloom and if the parties work at it there should not be. I guess it all boils down to how bad the two people want it to work and how honest they are with each other.

oldsage's photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:44 PM
I've been married twice; frst time had a child coming, second for love. Both lasted 14 yrs., 1 divorce & 1 death.
I know people that have been married multiple times, all I can offer is what I learned from some counciling I have been thru.
I think people jump into marriage to quick &/or divorce is too easy anymore. Seems people would rather start over than put REAL effort in to a relationship & EARNING the gift of love.
Another factor is control, people don't want to compromise & relationships take a lot of that.

Maybe before you try again, find a men's group & work on you fr a while, could make all the difference it the world.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 03:50 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your second wife.

In my last marriage we did try counsling for a year before divorcing, We just wanted different things. She is a very aggresive,outgoing, all out go getter. I run a business and have goals for myself also, but we just couldn't go the same direction in our relationship... too intense.

newtosatsuma's photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:03 PM
My last one that is in the process of ending was just I was gone for too long when I got back we were strangers to each other. It broke my heart but it was obvious that it was over ..... many other reasons as well but the hurt was and is real and painful.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:24 PM
Mike, I've only been in one, and that was MORE than enough. I can't see myself ever going through that again.

pms64's photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:26 PM
I will be truthful, I did not read the other replys. But I also think I have them beat. I have been married and divorced 6 times. Yes, I said 6 times. I even married one of them twice. Had it in my mind at the time that people change, HA.
To me there is nothing I love more then being married, always knowing someone is there for you and only you. And all the other things that go along with it, be it good or bad.
I divorced because I was tired of being used as a punching bag, being lied to and cheated on. And of course other things as well.
I used to be the type you could take home to meet mom, but after being married so many times, I guess I'm not anymore. I even did the church thing. But now, if anyone here is doomed, it's me.

Anyway, don't feel bad sweetheart, your not alone.
Good luck.
flowerforyou flowerforyou
PMS

Dayv's photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:28 PM
I've been in 2 failed LONG TERM relationships but we were never married(all the same though IMHO)both of them shattered my hopes as both left me cause they couldn't handle military life, now that I'm free, I'm thinking on a 4th tour since I am single and won't hurt anyone leaving.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:32 PM
Six times?? Then you know what I'm going thru. I want to talk to you about this.

ArtGurl's photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:01 PM
Just once ... lasted 20 years

...and yeah, I'd do it again

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:04 PM
i wouldnt get married again!.... no way. most people i know have been divorced.

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:09 PM
married once..for a year...been a long time since then but should I find the right man and he chooses to ask me then yes I would do it again, I am also content to cohabitate

unsure's photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:10 PM
I have only been married once...but OMG once was enough for me!! I am not sure if I really want to do it again or not. I honestly think I can have a great relationship with someone without being married. The only thing a piece of paper is going to do is cost a lot of money.
Don't get me wrong, I love being committed with someone...its just walking down the isle that scares the heck out of me :tongue:

adj4u's photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:12 PM
i think i learned from the first time

she did not got married 3 weeks later


drinker drinker smokin smokin smokin drinker drinker

southernangel's photo
Sat 07/07/07 10:09 PM
only once for me .. lasted 13 yrs. and im not sure if i'd ever go through that again.. took me long enough to get out of that one frown but my motto now is life goes on and on and on.. soooooooooo take care flowerforyou but who knows.. maybe one day i'd be changed.. WHO KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DTHRomeo's photo
Sat 07/07/07 10:20 PM
Once ... lasted almost 10 years

If i was to find the right person

I'd give it another try :smile:

Maybe i'll get it right next time

pkh's photo
Sat 07/07/07 10:31 PM
I was married twice,one right out of higschool.lasted a yr.My second lasted 13yrs.and I had two boys.My problem is I want to fix and save the world,well guess what it did not happen.One was hooked on drugs I was going to save him.If he loved me enough he would quit.I'm alot older and wiser now.I do believe that my soul mate is still out there,and I hope to find him.Not being conceited,but I deserve to be happy.Those two put me through enough.:smile:

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