1 2 3 4 6 Next
Topic: What's Worng In F.W.B
no photo
Sun 03/27/11 04:14 PM

The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes.


or not

i don't think that particular conversation can or should be forced NOT AT ALL - you will lose him

(or he would lose me if there was any backing me into a corner - I'd disappear so fast that you'd miss the dust off the backs of my boots)

so if it's not a good comfort level then it's not time for the conversation yet - and it's best to just let the friendhsip flow IMO

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 04:16 PM

Whether you are just looking for a fwb, or looking for a serious relationship, you have to be adult enough to be able to talk about it.


at some point but I think a friendship has to progress to a point where both people want to talk about where it's heading - as I said above it can't be forced or you will lose him/her

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 04:18 PM


The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes.


or not

i don't think that particular conversation can or should be forced NOT AT ALL - you will lose him

(or he would lose me if there was any backing me into a corner - I'd disappear so fast that you'd miss the dust off the backs of my boots)

so if it's not a good comfort level then it's not time for the conversation yet - and it's best to just let the friendhsip flow IMO


I'm not saying have the conversation on day one. I'm just saying that before assuming you are in an exclusive relationship, you have to talk about it.

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 04:24 PM



The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes.


or not

i don't think that particular conversation can or should be forced NOT AT ALL - you will lose him

(or he would lose me if there was any backing me into a corner - I'd disappear so fast that you'd miss the dust off the backs of my boots)

so if it's not a good comfort level then it's not time for the conversation yet - and it's best to just let the friendhsip flow IMO


I'm not saying have the conversation on day one. I'm just saying that before assuming you are in an exclusive relationship, you have to talk about it.


yes that I agree with - I've learned that lesson the hard way

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 04:27 PM



The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes.


or not

i don't think that particular conversation can or should be forced NOT AT ALL - you will lose him

(or he would lose me if there was any backing me into a corner - I'd disappear so fast that you'd miss the dust off the backs of my boots)

so if it's not a good comfort level then it's not time for the conversation yet - and it's best to just let the friendhsip flow IMO


Ive not lost anyone. I chose not to see one again, since he wanted to argue that we could have sex before monogamy. Im fine with leaving that one in the dust.

The only reason that would ever be out of the comfort level is if its not what the potential mate wants. More is the better...goodbye and good luck.

Im currently still seeing someone Ive had this talk with and its going really really well. I highly recommend it.

If you can put all your cards on the table from the start, you know that they know the real you. There is NO backing anyone into a corner. There is trust.


that's an awesome way of putting things - most of the men I have dated would prolly have smacked me if I said that - but whatever that was then this is now

and I think ur right if "he" doesn't want to talk about these things then maybe he's not the guy for me anyway (see #3 on seakolony's post - that's what I'm used to)

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 05:02 PM

1 - Fornication

2 - Emotional attachments through sexuality.....because women are built that way...............

3 - men want their cake and eat it too

4 - its against homosapien nature
:thumbsup: waving

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 05:06 PM

You could start by saying as early as date one....

"I like you so I think its only fair to tell you that I will continue dating you no matter how many women you see or chat with, but when we get to know each other more, I won't have sex without monogamy. Obviously, we dont need to worry about that tonite, so Im just letting you know how I am, in case it helps you decide on whether you want to continue seeing me."

prolly not gonna happen but I like ur general attutude

the difference between us is that I want the friendhsip to develop and remain whether or not we end up as romantic partners - I don't see it so much a sorting process as I do a gathering in...

and I would prefer the guy to initiate conversations about where things are heading - that's just me

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 05:21 PM


the difference between us is that I want the friendhsip to develop and remain whether or not we end up as romantic partners - I don't see it so much a sorting process as I do a gathering in...


Your way, you have sex with them first and find out youre not a match, later.

My way, no sex, unless its monogamous, so no cheatin, what makes you think that eliminates friendship?


well first - I did not say that I have sex first

second - I got that idea from one of your posts where you dissed a guy because he wanted casual - see I might not bump him but I would want to stay friends unless he was a TT douche - which if he was Ima not gonna be talkin to him about sliding it slippery anyway

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 06:51 PM




the difference between us is that I want the friendhsip to develop and remain whether or not we end up as romantic partners - I don't see it so much a sorting process as I do a gathering in...


Your way, you have sex with them first and find out youre not a match, later.

My way, no sex, unless its monogamous, so no cheatin, what makes you think that eliminates friendship?


well first - I did not say that I have sex first

second - I got that idea from one of your posts where you dissed a guy because he wanted casual - see I might not bump him but I would want to stay friends unless he was a TT douche - which if he was Ima not gonna be talkin to him about sliding it slippery anyway


Well first - You said, " I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him...."


second - When did I diss a guy for wantin casual? Do you mean when I stopped seeing him? He is free to want what he wants. It just wasnt what I wanted so I broke up with him. It was he who wanted to argue about it. Is that what youre referring to?


yes that happened once or twice in the past but it is not my normal "MO" - they were just some learning expereinces I guesss - I come from a place where people can be trusted- so, hey, "we're not in Kansas any more" was something I had to learn.


Are you sure it was he who wanted to argue, klc?

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 07:14 PM






the difference between us is that I want the friendhsip to develop and remain whether or not we end up as romantic partners - I don't see it so much a sorting process as I do a gathering in...


Your way, you have sex with them first and find out youre not a match, later.

My way, no sex, unless its monogamous, so no cheatin, what makes you think that eliminates friendship?


well first - I did not say that I have sex first

second - I got that idea from one of your posts where you dissed a guy because he wanted casual - see I might not bump him but I would want to stay friends unless he was a TT douche - which if he was Ima not gonna be talkin to him about sliding it slippery anyway


Well first - You said, " I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him...."


second - When did I diss a guy for wantin casual? Do you mean when I stopped seeing him? He is free to want what he wants. It just wasnt what I wanted so I broke up with him. It was he who wanted to argue about it. Is that what youre referring to?


yes that happened once or twice in the past but it is not my normal "MO" - they were just some learning expereinces I guesss - I come from a place where people can be trusted- so, hey, "we're not in Kansas any more" was something I had to learn.


Are you sure it was he who wanted to argue, klc?


Yep, he's a pretty nice guy tho. Im just really logical about relationships. I dont get emotional if someone isnt a match. I just know its time to move on. Maybe he was used to a different sort so he argued or tried to convince me to be different.


well klc frm what I can see you stay just as you are and lucky is the one who gets ya! I really appreciate the chance to bounce some thoughts and questions around w/ you & singme, thanks

no photo
Sun 03/27/11 07:14 PM






the difference between us is that I want the friendhsip to develop and remain whether or not we end up as romantic partners - I don't see it so much a sorting process as I do a gathering in...


Your way, you have sex with them first and find out youre not a match, later.

My way, no sex, unless its monogamous, so no cheatin, what makes you think that eliminates friendship?


well first - I did not say that I have sex first

second - I got that idea from one of your posts where you dissed a guy because he wanted casual - see I might not bump him but I would want to stay friends unless he was a TT douche - which if he was Ima not gonna be talkin to him about sliding it slippery anyway


Well first - You said, " I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him...."


second - When did I diss a guy for wantin casual? Do you mean when I stopped seeing him? He is free to want what he wants. It just wasnt what I wanted so I broke up with him. It was he who wanted to argue about it. Is that what youre referring to?


yes that happened once or twice in the past but it is not my normal "MO" - they were just some learning expereinces I guesss - I come from a place where people can be trusted- so, hey, "we're not in Kansas any more" was something I had to learn.


Are you sure it was he who wanted to argue, klc?


Yep, he's a pretty nice guy tho. Im just really logical about relationships. I dont get emotional if someone isnt a match. I just know its time to move on. Maybe he was used to a different sort so he argued or tried to convince me to be different.


well klc frm what I can see you stay just as you are and lucky is the one who gets ya! I really appreciate the chance to bounce some thoughts and questions around w/ you & singme, thanks

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 03/28/11 08:57 AM
I think one of you mentioned these things should be able to come up in casual conversation or be felt on both sides...I will look back and find it..

I think it is normal when you start talking to the opposite sex on a frequent level, you should be very honest with your feelings, even if they are not...If you are having weird feelings about it, then discontinue that part of the relationship...ie sex---

Some guys are good friends, and some good lovers, some are both...and then there are some that are just BLAH altogether. If you are confused about your feeling for someone than stay clear from sexual relations until you sort it out.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 03/28/11 09:10 AM
Friendships are a relationship generally with some sort of emotion involved....even when i fight with some of my best girlfriends, it hurts if even just a little, when they do something or say something that comes across disrespectful....so

for everyone saying that friendships with benefits and having agreements/ it's not a contract for sex or anything, sheez....and that one guy said, have fun with your friend and have a good time but then go and have sex and expect nothing else in return....I expect things from all my friends, it's called respect and reliability. If it's just sex, purely sex, than it's not FWB. It's just cheap sex.

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 03/30/11 06:39 PM

Whats wrong in Looking for Friends With Benefits... Why Do Most WOmen get turned off.... :-?


I'm not a woman, but I find the FWB **** to be a waste of time...Like getting a package of Oreo's that have no creme filling.

krupa's photo
Wed 03/30/11 06:48 PM


Whats wrong in Looking for Friends With Benefits... Why Do Most WOmen get turned off.... :-?


I'm not a woman, but I find the FWB **** to be a waste of time...Like getting a package of Oreo's that have no creme filling.


I gotta disagree......

Find a big girl...who just sucked down a case of Twinkies...

Lotsa creme filling and she is asleep during the sex so, this is a "Win/Win" situation.

no photo
Wed 03/30/11 07:04 PM


Whats wrong in Looking for Friends With Benefits... Why Do Most WOmen get turned off.... :-?


I'm not a woman, but I find the FWB **** to be a waste of time...Like getting a package of Oreo's that have no creme filling.
laugh agreed

no photo
Wed 03/30/11 08:37 PM
i COULD be one,,,I mean,,hey,,we meet,,,we share,,,then we what? We get closer,,IF that goes GREAT we want to make more of that,,,if it doesn't we back away,,BUT,,in THAT process,,what have we did?
We WERE friends with benefits for a bit,,IF that is what YOU FEEL a need to place a name on friendship degrees of use,,,,wink,lol
As for me,,,to be VERY real and honest,,,GIVE ME THAT TRUTH,,as to FEED ME BS,,any day as to what YOU do with life and friends,,or me,,because I can HANDLE ANY TRUTHS,,,I just HATE lies and hiding what is someones REAL personal behavior or desires to live like...

I want,,and would LOVE to find a real caring love,,,but being real with life,,two people can be horny and love their love making with each other,,but not see that go any further,,Personally I would not want to do a FWB with a lady I KNEW I could not have MORE WITH,,because of fear SHE might desire me more,,and at that point of saying I didn't feel that way toward her,,would be hurtful to her,,and I live NOT to hurt anyones heart..Including mine,,but I mess that one up a bunch,,,lol

jclarko's photo
Wed 03/30/11 11:14 PM
nothing wrong with F.W.B ur friends u have benefits! NO PROBLEM.just friends with nice benefits.keep it that way shouldnt be problem.if problems arise out of situation shut down benefits or start a relationship status with the friend if u both going in that direction.no problem!!

1 2 3 4 6 Next