I've been dating someone for two years. He's told me he doesn't want to get married and he doesn't want to live together right now. I feel like I'm wasting my time with this guy. How long should I wait to have the kind of relationship I want? It's frustrating and I don't know what to do.

Not one more second. I'm not saying that you should punish him. It sounds like he is being honest. But it seems clear that his agenda does not agree with his. Why waste your time and set yourself up for more hurt?

At least he's told you what he doesn't want.
My last relationship took me 6 years to figure that one out.
If you love him enough, maybe you don't need the marriage.
If that is something you want though you'll need to move on to someone who does want marriage.

I don't care about marriage. I just want to be together. We only get to see each other a couple of times a week.... I want to cook him breakfast in the morning, have dinner together, talk about the news on tv, snuggle up next to him every night....

After two years, moving in together is very reasonable.
I wonder what's got him so spooked about it.

patience is a virtue. good things come to those who wait. both of these nice quotes do not apply. time to move on

You can't see that? He still wants to hold his options open. As a guy, I can say this for sure.

What she said :-)

After two years .. the "I don't want to get hurt" excuse starts sounding pretty silly.

Sounds like he is still playing the field to me.

Hell, im usually ready to move in with someone after the first date.........

I dont want to believe that he is still looking, but anything is possible I guess. I'm just at a loss...do I give him an option, or just split?

Trust me he is still looking. I would kick him to the curb. Think about it, if he was really content he would want to see you more, move in with you and get serious.

Usually when someone like the person their with they see them more then a couple time a week. It just seems like he is looking to see if there is anything better out there and if not he already has something.

He may not still 'be looking', but he obviously isn't as ready to commit as you are - he's apparently content with how things are now.
I would never give someone an option.

If you know what YOU want and he has stated what HE wants then maybe it's just time for an honest conversation.
You'll then know what you need to do for You.

Hugs

It may sound a little lawyerly, but I say, apush im into a corner. Make him declare exactly what he wants. Be friendly and accepting. What yu want is his true intentions. There will be plenty of guys out there who will want only to have what you have to offer. Trust me. As a guy, I can say this for sure.

i think you should enjoy the time you have with him if you like him, openly, and discuss this with him.... and open your options back up, while enjoying his company and try not to get so flustered. Being irritated gets you nowhere, and keeps you un-happy, as well as gets abrasion going between the two of you.

marriage is just a trump card to "ownership" and control these days, and because of financial situations and other social burdens, people are shying away from it anymore, as lately, all it does is make lawyers, gov't, and churches richer while you get poorer, because one didn't want the other to stray, which most now-a-days do anyway.

sad, what this has all become.

I don't date more than one person at a time. If I'm going to open my options, he needs to be gone.

You could always try women................

I like what you're saying. I want to make clear. It would not be appropriate to make a fight out of this. Anger has no place here. It's just a matter of aligning your own interests with you significant other's. Sounds a bit cold and business-like, but that's what it is.