Just to keep them around. Would they love you without them?

I don't understand the question.

It is love regardless but perhaps not the right kind of love.

For exp, if give in to insecurity etc it often strengthens them.



'The greatest harm can come from the best intentions.'

By making someone feel comfortable living with thier insecurities instead of getting help with them, you trap them into a false sense of security. This will help you to convince them that you are the one that understands them the best. And that you will love them unconditionally.

Supporting someone's insecurities JUST to keep them around is one heck of a waste of time. Someone who needs that kind of support and who is that insecure is not capable to give others love because he/she doesn't even have enough love for him/herself.

all intelligent answers, I personally don't like co-dependant females. I can't stand straight, on my own two feet, if I'm nothing more than a leaning post for someone who is scared to be their own person.

DO YOU FEEL,,,,THEY will change,THROUGH YOU HELPING THEM?

If you loved them unconditionally..you would help them not hold them back .. regardless if you were to lose them once they overcame the insecurities. If they love you...they will come back. Some loves are just not meant to be, no matter how much we want it to be.

true dat

very dangerous, look at charlie sheen

I think you can love someone without agreeing with them all the time or even liking every choice they make


sometimes distancing yourself from them is the best thing you can do to force them to deal straight on with THEMSELF...
it doesnt mean you dont love them

WOW!

Hmmm I guess it depends on what the insecurities are and how you deal with them

I hate the dark, My ex said you have to face it, and would make it dark, well that surely didnt help.

I am horribly shy and hate talking to strangers on the phone and in person, yet i work in a place where it happens every day, So I make myself deal with it..

but with a partner i would like some support in it.. My ex said face it, well i do, But i still resented that he would take me somewhere and dump me with strangers and say deal with it..

I like that now if i go somewhere, my partner doesnt just dump me, he makes sure I am comfortabel with who he leaves me with, and that before he gets me to talk to somebody on the phone or family that he wants me to meet he warns me and I can be ready.

I am insecure about my body and do need to be told that I am loved and appreciated.

Yep i have insecurities and yep I can still love even though I have them, but some understanding is always good. some of us are just more high maintenence than other, who are sure of themselves.

I would probably be classed as needy and yep i am, i dont care, I want to be looked after, and I want to look after my man. I dont want our own seperate lives. I just want one shared one.

Guess it depends on the person you are as well.

I agree to a point - I think if you love someone you will try to get them help for their insecurities and be that shoulder to lean on. never know, you might need them in that same way some day. Relationships aren't always equal as far as who gives/supports the most. Right now, I might need you to see me through some rough spots - next month or so after I have my chit straight I might have to be there for you ...and I will be because I love you

love does not keep a tally
love exists in spite of all the things we foolish beings do to squelch it
my people never turned a loved one from the door or a neighbor from a meal - so that's my thinking because how I was raised

no its not love when you support someone's insecurities..it enabling

I would hope that they would love you without them but the honest truth is that its a coin toss and their are no guarantees

but the only way for a person to love fully is to find happiness in themselves...if this question is being posed I'm going for they are probably not happy

I thought that was just part of the "Relationship" package.

What is normal to someone....may seem to be an insecurity to me.

Look, everyone has thier quirks...and that is cool. But, when someone has enough screwed up things going on (drama)....that you don't want to deal with them...don't have sex with them and it eliminates most of the problem.

Now, as far as just friends....I had to dump two friends of mine that I have been the best of friends with for 16 years...I had to distance my self from the recreational pharmaceutical industry.

Everyone has different tolerances with the amount of crap they will put up with. I think it is a waste of your life to put up with endless sh** for the comfort of familiarity and convenience.

yes there are extremes and I wasn't talking about extremes in my first post - I am referencing the everyday ups & downs we all have - buy the groceries cuz ur outta work a month ..let you cry & mope in peace a few weeks cuz your grandma died

such as that

when things get too "dramatic" or there's lawbreaking going on - I would sit down with my partner or my friend or whomever and say - if u want the relationship with me this chit's gotta stop - don't answer me now - take 24 and gimme a answer and I'd give them a chance if the history was good

but krupa I agree - if it's drugs/alcohol usually it takes completely cutting the ties

Supporting someone's insecurities can be percieved a couple different ways. On one hand you have someone who might have distortion in their logic about how they view theyre partner with other people. I am no psychologist but I am guessing it is not healthy to cater to this. And the women that do may very well be playing a submissive role to anger and jealousy in this transaction when interperitted to real life.

On the other hand some people get a kick out of provoking an emotional response from the anger that is kind of sort of palying with their feelings for them and kind of sort a little abusive.

Having social anxiety I am no superman myself ( probably very strong and secure for make and model that is a shy quiet guy ) definetly appreciate it if my face is not rubbed in it so to speak. Yet at the same time I don't expect my partner to apologize for a conversation with a male friend of hers where I felt I was not the center of attention.