Hi, all. I'm a "newby" here. I'm married. There, I said it. I'm looking for a new gal pal,PERIOD, but I don't know what's going on, since I can't even find myself when I do a search(!). Like I said in my ad, I'm not looking for a new Mrs/Ms Right, and I am NOT looking for a Ms. Right Now (and that includes "FWB"). I had a female friend (over 4 years), but things got "complicated" and now I have only male friends, and after awhile, the testosterone fumes give me a headache, lol (I still have a female friend that I've known for over 20 years now, but she lives in Colorado, with her boyfriend, a real nice guy). Are there problems in my marriage? Yes. Do I want to continue with it? I don't know. As you can see, I'm honest. I'm not looking for a quick fix relationship, as it would be unfair to both of us. I'd just like to know if a man's wedding ring is kryptonite to a single woman, and would scare her off immediately, even if the guy just wants to be friends. Thanks for reading this post.

no. you got all the friend u r supposed to have at home. now good and get her

Thanks for your candor, sweetestgirl11.

I don't think I could be friends with a married guy because ususally one tends to want more than just friendship and as you said it can lead to great complication and perhaps even heartbreak or hard feelings. So best thing to do is either fix your marriage or do both of yourselves a favor and end it. Life is too short and trying to find a female friend no matter how innocent it starts can only lead to lies and more lies that you would more than likely eventually pay for.

grneyedldy1967, I think you nailed it re: my former friend. The circumstances were right for something to happen, and it did. I appreciate your candid comments, thanks.

i have a friend that i have known for 30yrs and we lost track of each other over the yrs untill about 10yrs ago and he was married
his wife had no problem with me talking to him or him taking me to the store when i would ask

there not married anymore but they still live together

OP, regardless of what you say, most women aren't going to buy into it. We have had too many experiences with married men who want only to be "friends."

In fact, I have talked to perhaps one married men in more than a decade online (in chat rooms as well as dating sites) who did NOT get around to the topic of having sex. At first, I was naive and when a married man said he wanted friendship, I believed him. It wasn't until after talking to three or four married men that it dawned on me that these men were out for sex. Call me a slow learner.

After those initial few, I have talked to married men just to see if any are different.

So far, nope.

Some married men insist that their wives know that they are seeking female "friends" online. I have them "great," and asked to speak to the wives. Funny, they are always sleeping or at the store.


In addition, my sister's husband has a platonic female friend whose company he seems to prefer over my sister's company. It is causing a huge rift in their marriage.

Personally, I have several male friends, some attached and some not. I know the wives and girlfriends of the attached ones. I would not betray the sisterhood by even beginning a friendship with a married man without becoming friends with his wife, as well.

By the way, admitting that there are problems in your marriage and that you don't know if it will last is like saying: "I am hedging my bets. I'll stay in the marriage but shop around, and if/when I find something better, I'll go for her."

To get more action, ya' might post some pic of yourself.

And you might think it would be easier just to have male friends if you are a married guy. You might even think since you have a wife you have a friend. You might even think having friends is easy. You might even think being friends with yourself would be the easiest of all. People are wonderful at thinking about things like friendship.

well said

It's always a bit odd when a married guy comes to a dating site looking for friends. So, I'm sure you can understand why women would be wary.

Dude you need to work on the friendships you have now before you go looking for any new ones.

Not here... This sight sucks for that.

I have married male friends. But, they are casual friends that I know from work or social groups. I would not pursue a deeper friendship with a married man nor do I think it's okay for a married person to have a very close friendship with a person of the opposite sex. JMO.

Well I don't mean to be this way, but i got guys friends online even on dating sites but i tell them it can't be and never will be more than friend, so I would say for me I think we can be friends.

IMO you are way out of line. You should either be trying to fix your marriage or ending it. You have no reason to be here!!!