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| Topic: Ok, seriously skeptical | |
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Don't have too many expectations. Chat with people, get to know them a little and meet those you want to. Take a chance and who knows what can happen. I took a chance and propositioned you. You rejected me.  
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I have a serious question for all you minglers out there. I'm here to date and meet people. But I'm wondering if I'm going to find anything besides photos and long chat conversations. So I'm curious what the actually likely hood of meeting a "date-able" young women on the internet. Not to mention in my area. That and getting past the idea of "wait, I've never met this person" is stressful and hard to get past because there are a lot of untrustworthy people out there... I'm sure some of you have been here awhile and maybe many of you have had success. So I'm curious, whether I should be crossing my fingers, or out at the bar trying to find something close to a date. I mean... really... I'm not impatient just skeptical, for various reasons. Maybe someone can fill me in here. Because I've tried the bar... not much going on there. That and walking up to innocent young women and asking them out is strange and unprecedented. Any other ideas? Because after all I could just give up and wait till someone crosses my path like normal, busy people do. Something... Maybe its a matter of luck? Luck, yes. Location, certainly. And a lot depends on how willing you are to redesign yourself into being the sort of person they are going to want you to be -- or the person you're going to allow yourself to be turned into. I have met 9 people from dating sites, and only one was a legitimate dating prospect. The others were, to put it mildly (albeit accurately), phonies, hoaxes, wastes of time (mine and theirs). I have been on this site 4 years and it is clear to me that the kind of person I'm looking for does not use dating sites. On the other hand -- here's the obligatory disclaimer -- I know people who have found The One here. It happens. I don't really understand exactly how, but it does happen. My own personal belief is that, the more traditional (i.e., mindless, in the sense of "let her do all your thinking for you") the arrangement you're looking for, the more likely you are to find someone on a dating site. Because my impression is that most women on dating sites are not looking for a guy with his own mind, his own beliefs, his own thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams. What I've seen -- and please keep in mind, I'm not trying to tar with the proverbial broad brush here, I'm just recapping from personal experience -- the most typical scenario is she's looking for someone to take care of her and her kids (present and/or future), and the guy is never going to rise above tenth or twelfth or fifteenth or her List Of Priorities. It's less about looking for a guy than it is about looking for a Safety Net. And then again, some of them are just clinically insane (arsonist, phony bank teller, phony kidnap victim, etc.) I've been looking for someone who falls outside these parameters for many years now. And I'm still looking. |
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when shall the stubborn, and self arrogant, and self declared wise ones, that love to think of themself as smart, which indeed in the end are the MOST WISE, realize that if oneself has not found what it wishes on earth, that it be ITSELF.
not until the eye's look not at one fault of another human being as the cause, and only one's own. |
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I have had 1 date from here. We connected awesome and when we met we just weren't the 2 puzzle pieces that fit together. We still talk and it's nice. But that happens.
I have expected very little with people and this dating site (well all the dating sites I have been on) and so far I have had both good and bad luck. I have chatted with several guys in and around my area and we just don't connect. That happens but I have also made lots of great friends on here. They just live really far away. Now the chances of you finding a girl in your area, that connects with you and is on this dating site may be slim. But have have patience. All good things come to those who wait. Life is full of risks and I truly believe you get out what you put into something. In the meantime welcome and have fun here in the forums! 
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This is a good way to meet some cool and interesting people. You probably wont get to hambone most of the chicks here but, I am guessing you probably aint gonna be hamboning most of the chicks in your hometown either. At least here, the stalkers will have a much harder time screwing with your life than the chicks back home who show up at your work wearing a wedding gown or taking a crap on your car when you pissem off. hambones are tasty..especially with maple syrup..but dont tell my Rabbi I said so.... 
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Wed 12/22/10 11:14 PM
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You already answered you're own question. You have just as much chance as everyone else, but from where i stand as far as dating sites go. There are more people here just to chat an bs then anything else. So expect the long conversations going nowhere. Some may look at what I said isn't giving much hope sorry , but reality is not something you can hide from. Blunt and to the point... thanks. Makes me feel sorry for the people who actually pay for this. But we should all take a lesson from our friend here... Maybe if where blunt and honest, we will get what we are looking for... maybe When I first started dating sites I was a paying fool Being on these sites are a grate way to meet people and you can enjoy your time being on the forums. Also I think that dating sites aren't what they were meant to be anymore. I like a lot of the people on here and do have fun, although, I think I have a better chance actually meeting someone off the net, then spending time chatting with someone on the that doesn't really know what they want. Just like most know it's about attraction, location and trying to keep someone really interested and women can be hard to do that with at times. |
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Well thats a roit.
Anyways, one must look within. Blessings everyone |
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You already answered you're own question. You have just as much chance as everyone else, but from where i stand as far as dating sites go. There are more people here just to chat an bs then anything else. So expect the long conversations going nowhere. Some may look at what I said isn't giving much hope sorry , but reality is not something you can hide from. Blunt and to the point... thanks. Makes me feel sorry for the people who actually pay for this. But we should all take a lesson from our friend here... Maybe if where blunt and honest, we will get what we are looking for... maybe When I first started dating sites I was a paying fool Being on these sites are a grate way to meet people and you can enjoy your time being on the forums. Also I think that dating sites aren't what they were meant to be anymore. I like a lot of the people on here and do have fun, although, I think I have a better chance actually meeting someone off the net, then spending time chatting with someone on the that doesn't really know what they want. Just like most know it's about attraction, location and trying to keep someone really interested and women can be hard to do that with at times. What do you mean by dating sites aren't what they were meant to be anymore? |
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One indeed must look within; and discover: what you get is what you give.
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If you have the time to spare and are honest with what you say you are looking for,, you should get good responses, most people like to chat and there are more chances to meet people here then in real life.,,But dont limit yourself to looking in just one place,,, Sometimes meeting the right one just happens, when you arent looking,,,
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I have a serious question for all you minglers out there. I'm here to date and meet people. But I'm wondering if I'm going to find anything besides photos and long chat conversations. So I'm curious what the actually likely hood of meeting a "date-able" young women on the internet. Not to mention in my area. That and getting past the idea of "wait, I've never met this person" is stressful and hard to get past because there are a lot of untrustworthy people out there... I'm sure some of you have been here awhile and maybe many of you have had success. So I'm curious, whether I should be crossing my fingers, or out at the bar trying to find something close to a date. I mean... really... I'm not impatient just skeptical, for various reasons. Maybe someone can fill me in here. Because I've tried the bar... not much going on there. That and walking up to innocent young women and asking them out is strange and unprecedented. Any other ideas? Because after all I could just give up and wait till someone crosses my path like normal, busy people do. Something... Maybe its a matter of luck? I've maybe met one person who is interested in real conversation. THe rest have turned out to only wanting to get laid. |
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I have a serious question for all you minglers out there. I'm here to date and meet people. But I'm wondering if I'm going to find anything besides photos and long chat conversations. So I'm curious what the actually likely hood of meeting a "date-able" young women on the internet. Not to mention in my area. That and getting past the idea of "wait, I've never met this person" is stressful and hard to get past because there are a lot of untrustworthy people out there... I'm sure some of you have been here awhile and maybe many of you have had success. So I'm curious, whether I should be crossing my fingers, or out at the bar trying to find something close to a date. I mean... really... I'm not impatient just skeptical, for various reasons. Maybe someone can fill me in here. Because I've tried the bar... not much going on there. That and walking up to innocent young women and asking them out is strange and unprecedented. Any other ideas? Because after all I could just give up and wait till someone crosses my path like normal, busy people do. Something... Maybe its a matter of luck? I think you may be right its a matter of luck. I haven't had much luck here but then again I haven't won the lottery either. I have decided to join some new clubs that start up in the New Year which may open up some new possibilities for me. |
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OP, if you stick around and chat with people here, you'll find that many of us have met others from these forums. So, it certainly happens. Good luck!
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Edited by
sharpandpointless
on
Sun 12/26/10 04:29 PM
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Best advise I can give is: either know what you want, or want nothing .
ETA: I mean if you know what you are looking for in a woman then make it know in your profile, and keep looking. Hopefully you'll find a match that sees you as a match as well, but nothing is guaranteed. If you don't know what you want then you should take a moree "Zen" approach. don't rule anything out, don't expect anything, just wait, and see. |
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I'm looking...
So let's stop the :bs.... Just everyone get in touch... I'll do the weeding.... 
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The problem is that many people join a site like Mingle and think that within 30 seconds, love will find them. I guess the fact that we are an impatient, me-first society does not help this fact. But truth be told, online dating, real world dating, they all have the same issue. We, as a society, want romance, a relationship so bad that we think we should get it real fast, real soon.
Online dating is good in that it allows you the chance to talk to people from a comforting place (ie, your home). Yeah, people lie on internet sites, but they do that in person as well. The trick is learning how to read through all the BS. Good portion of people who say that they aren't into drama tend to be the ones who live in it. Guys who say they have a yacht, or will fly to meet you and whisk you away to their private island typically are poor as hell. Women who say they don't want to be here just for sex? Ummmmmmm. Unless they are nuns, then of course they would want sex. They just don't want to come off as easy. Guys who say they don't want just sex? Riiiight. I'm a dude, and even I can tell ya that a man does want to lay pipe after a couple of dates. But see, you can get this online or in person. Lies are pretty much part of our world. The trick is to find a person who is genuine. To meet someone and really discover if this person could be someone worth the risk of finding a forever with them. Cause, when it comes down to it, dating is a risk we take. We put ourselves out there and hope and pray that this person we have entrusted does not burn us. But, it is a risk worth taking. Anyways, online dating can help you find true love. It can also help you find a friend. Or a hook up. Hook ups are easy to get, especially since there are online sites dedicated to it. But dating is tricky. Always has been, and probably always will be. |
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The problem is that many people join a site like Mingle and think that within 30 seconds, love will find them. I guess the fact that we are an impatient, me-first society does not help this fact. But truth be told, online dating, real world dating, they all have the same issue. We, as a society, want romance, a relationship so bad that we think we should get it real fast, real soon. Online dating is good in that it allows you the chance to talk to people from a comforting place (ie, your home). Yeah, people lie on internet sites, but they do that in person as well. The trick is learning how to read through all the BS. Good portion of people who say that they aren't into drama tend to be the ones who live in it. Guys who say they have a yacht, or will fly to meet you and whisk you away to their private island typically are poor as hell. Women who say they don't want to be here just for sex? Ummmmmmm. Unless they are nuns, then of course they would want sex. They just don't want to come off as easy. Guys who say they don't want just sex? Riiiight. I'm a dude, and even I can tell ya that a man does want to lay pipe after a couple of dates. But see, you can get this online or in person. Lies are pretty much part of our world. The trick is to find a person who is genuine. To meet someone and really discover if this person could be someone worth the risk of finding a forever with them. Cause, when it comes down to it, dating is a risk we take. We put ourselves out there and hope and pray that this person we have entrusted does not burn us. But, it is a risk worth taking. Anyways, online dating can help you find true love. It can also help you find a friend. Or a hook up. Hook ups are easy to get, especially since there are online sites dedicated to it. But dating is tricky. Always has been, and probably always will be. Love ya', Goof. You are so right-on. I wish you all the best, Brother. |
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Goof is right!!
Tammys Truth: How come no man Eva offered to whisk me away to his private island!! Shizz. I'm missing everything.,, And yea,,,,,ok...,,.I am easy .......sue me!!!
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Tue 12/28/10 10:06 AM
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What do you mean by dating sites aren't what they were meant to be anymore? It's just in general being on dating sites, there are more people on these site that are here just to chat or bs like I stated already. I been on theses sites a good couple years as a lot of us have been that are on these forum alone. Now I know i'm not that bad looking and from what I have known from friends on the net and off, that i'm a good hearted man or how ever they may see me. Not alot of women are looking for that these days, and some of you women on this forum may say different, but that is only maybe 10 of you that are actually on this forum out of thousands that are actually on dating sites. So the thousands out way the 10 of you that are actually looking for someone that they can enjoy life with. So in all, if more people were here to actually meet someone as to what these dating sites were made for. There would be a hell of a lot more people sharing there stories. But reality sets in and here we are... |
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I have been on here a month and have met a wonderful man. i guess the thing is that we both want the same things, we have both been very open about what we want. and we are both willing to do what ever it takes to make it work. There are really no barriers that I can see, if you care about someone then it will work out. And no way am i leaving this site without what i came for and that is a man who loves me and someone who will share my life forever,
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