Topic: Is this a 'red flag'?
seamac's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:32 PM

I would be a little bit cautious too. Whenever I see a 'never been married' I always wonder what's wrong with them. LOL. But it could be that he's never been married but has been in a long-term relationship.

But there again, there's the other argument of maybe better to go with someone who's never been married than with someone who's been married before, maybe more than once who may have negative baggage.

Really, I wouldn't dismiss anyone because of their 'status'. If you find him interesting give him a chance, and find out his story and make your judgement based on that, and how you feel about him once you know him better.


Thank you! Good points all. I must admit that when he said he had never been married my first gut reaction was "what's wrong with him"? Later I thought about the lack of baggage that might mean and about the possibility of his having had a long term relationship.

Glad to hear that I am not the only one who sees that it could be a red flag though!

seamac's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:37 PM


I bet he has cooties!


Is this him?




LOL, nah, he is kinda nice looking, a little chubby but I kind of like that. My late husband was a very BIG man (in many, many ways)

You all understand this was just a red flag question, right? He hasn't even asked me out except to help him with some landscaping work, maybe he just wants the help and figures that working where I do I can use the extra money...but I don't think that's it. I don't work again until Wednesday so no hope of seeing him at least until then...will post again if he does ask me out other than to rake leaves and stuff like that!!

no photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:37 PM
Nearly 1 in 4 people in that age group have never been married. In my age group, nearly 2/3.

Jess642's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:40 PM
Huh?...why would never been married be a red flag?


And for what?

You don't want to marry him...you'd like a new friend...whom you may have as a lover also...

sheesh woman!


and hello....ummm....overthinking this a little bit?

Go out on 12 dates with him...sleep with him...and THEN you will KNOW without a doubt what is a red flag and what isn't.

Speculation of someone you barely know would be a red flag...:wink:

seamac's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:40 PM

Nearly 1 in 4 people in that age group have never been married. In my age group, nearly 2/3.



Really?? I wouldn't have thought that - well obviously I didn't think that or I wouldn't have asked the question! Where did you get this information?

Thanks!

Simonedemidova's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:43 PM


I bet he has cooties!


Is this him?



HAHAHA!

Maybe he was a player and now that he is so old, he realizes he doesnt want to die alone and is finally ready to settle down. Ok probably not. I guess there's only one way to find out, date him and see how long it lasts or at least until you can get a lil more background info on him.

GLG2009's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:46 PM


Go out on 12 dates with him...sleep with him...and THEN you will KNOW without a doubt what is a red flag and what isn't.


Is that 12 dates before she sleeps with him?

no photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:48 PM


Nearly 1 in 4 people in that age group have never been married. In my age group, nearly 2/3.



Really?? I wouldn't have thought that - well obviously I didn't think that or I wouldn't have asked the question! Where did you get this information?

Thanks!


Gallup poll. I know all kinds of useless information. Plus, think of it this way, would you rather have a guy who was never married, or a guy who was married and divorced 5 times?

Jess642's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:55 PM



Go out on 12 dates with him...sleep with him...and THEN you will KNOW without a doubt what is a red flag and what isn't.


Is that 12 dates before she sleeps with him?


It was the number that fell out of my head...Sea will know when the right time is, if at all, for that...

She's an awesome woman...and I suspect is just being overly cautious.:wink: flowerforyou

soufiehere's photo
Sun 11/21/10 03:57 PM

I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him..

As a group, may I say..
We are all happy to hear this, ewwie.

seamac's photo
Sun 11/21/10 04:38 PM




Go out on 12 dates with him...sleep with him...and THEN you will KNOW without a doubt what is a red flag and what isn't.


Is that 12 dates before she sleeps with him?


It was the number that fell out of my head...Sea will know when the right time is, if at all, for that...

She's an awesome woman...and I suspect is just being overly cautious.:wink: flowerforyou



You are correct! Since my husband died the few men I have dated have been, well let's say, not so good...they fall in love in a milla second and then leave when I won't agree to marry them. Or they have so many health issues that you can't even believe it, the last guy I dated has 23 medically documented disabilities, he was married 6 times! I just think it may be time for me NOT to go to dinner with a party of 5 (today for my birthday with parents, sister and her hubby) I heard that "5" and really felt it. BUT I am not interested in another pathetic attempt so yes, maybe I am being overly cautious...and please remember I asked this question to see if others saw 47 and never married as a red flag, not to see if it was a reason to date him or not should we even get that far. It was a knee jerk red flag for me for a second but...I was just curious as to what my Mingle friends thought. Thanks for all your input!

seamac's photo
Sun 11/21/10 04:42 PM



Nearly 1 in 4 people in that age group have never been married. In my age group, nearly 2/3.



Really?? I wouldn't have thought that - well obviously I didn't think that or I wouldn't have asked the question! Where did you get this information?

Thanks!


Gallup poll. I know all kinds of useless information. Plus, think of it this way, would you rather have a guy who was never married, or a guy who was married and divorced 5 times?



Been there, really the last guy I dated was married 6 times!! Talk about baggage! Soooo I take never married over multiple marriages hands down!!

So your information was enlightening to me, not so useless after all!

unsure's photo
Sun 11/21/10 04:46 PM
I had a friend that was 52 and never married, actually never dated. After I got to know him, I understood why...he was very needy and became a stalker type.
There are many reasons why people never marry though. I am 46 and I have been married once and I will never do it again. We all have our reasons for doing what we do.
IF you do date him, I would make it very public for while until you really get to know him and trust him. You really have to stop and think about safety these days!!

krupa's photo
Sun 11/21/10 05:49 PM
I am pushing up into that age bracket and never married.

My reason...after what my Dad and Brother went though...I swore I would never get a divorce. Not being married helps with that goal.

Bear in mind that the idea of marriage has changed greatly in the past 50 years.

When I went to my 20th high school reunion...everybody showed up looking "rough"...they ALL had gotten short, dumpy, grey or balding and wrinkly. The commonalities among them...marriage/divorce and 2.5 hell spawned children.

You have no idea how many times that weekend I was told.."You were the smartest one out of all of us." "God, I wished I felt as happy as you look", "Take my wife and kids...I want your life".

Even my brother and my sister agree that I did the right thing and now the do the same. Hell, my brother wont even allow a woman to move in..."You have your house, I will have mine"...he and his woman have been together for 11 years. Marriage aint everything.

....and Sea...you would lay me like a throw rug girl!

Simonedemidova's photo
Sun 11/21/10 05:54 PM
Edited by Simonedemidova on Sun 11/21/10 05:55 PM
Marriage is one thing, but heck, i would want my man in a place with me--I would miss him too much. Love to wake up next my man
(well if i had one)ohwell

no photo
Sun 11/21/10 06:05 PM



I bet he has cooties!


Is this him?




LOL, nah, he is kinda nice looking, a little chubby but I kind of like that. My late husband was a very BIG man (in many, many ways)

You all understand this was just a red flag question, right? He hasn't even asked me out except to help him with some landscaping work, maybe he just wants the help and figures that working where I do I can use the extra money...but I don't think that's it. I don't work again until Wednesday so no hope of seeing him at least until then...will post again if he does ask me out other than to rake leaves and stuff like that!!
hell, ask him out...

no photo
Sun 11/21/10 06:06 PM


I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him..

As a group, may I say..
We are all happy to hear this, ewwie.
was that a cut ? grumble

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 11/21/10 06:10 PM
trust your instincts......


I had to learn that the hard way!

krupa's photo
Sun 11/21/10 06:10 PM



I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him..

As a group, may I say..
We are all happy to hear this, ewwie.
was that a cut ? grumble


Naw...that would be your foreskin.

Ladylid2012's photo
Sun 11/21/10 06:16 PM
I use to think never married could be a red flag...the older I have gotten the more never married men I have met, dated. They just never did it, it's no big deal. I'm actually finding I prefer the younger than me never marrieds.