How soon did you tell the other you loved them, or be told by them that they loved you?

I ask because, I have grown really really close to a girl in the last month as I've sort of referred to here recently. It's taken me a bit by surprise but it's happened, we still have to meet in person, but we talk online or by phone (sometimes both) daily. We're trying to take it slow or slower, so no I love you's just yet, but just curious for others how long it was before that came into play.

Your emails mean nothing. You have a fantasy about who you want her to be and it likely has nothing to do with who she really is.

First meet her face to face. Next, date her a couple of times. After that, have sex a few times. Then see how you feel about her.

If you say you love her too soon, you'll give her the creeps and scare her off.

You haven't met the person so there is no love. There is probably infatuation.

We have actually talked about everything so it's not like we're not communicating about things. In fact we agreed to make her feel better that....if things go so far, that she would be the one to say she loved me first, and I could take my cue from her as to when she was ready for the next step.

I would also add we've had many at length discussions about a lot of things, so I have some idea of who she is.

I'm more curious about others experiences really.

people can hide behind screen and lie into phones you wont know if its really and ment to be and who she really is until you have a face to face meeting and spend time off line together.you probably have an idea of what shes like or what you want her to be like.

This is true, but she's opened up some to me, not about everything yet but some things. I have no reasons to doubt her.

The in person thing is true though, will give you that point.

I used to say it quickly, within a month or so. But, I was young and stupid then, probably a lot like you are now. These days I have a lot more experance with women and relationships (over 100 sexual relationships) and I have found the longer I wait, the better.

I'm almost 50, have bad teeth, work a very low paying job and my current girlfriend is 5'9" 150 lbs. and only 20 years old.

Why the hell is she with me?

Because, my friend, I know what I'm doing when it comes to women.

I've said it a lot too in my past, always tended to fall faster then I should and end up hurt for it later. This is one of the few times I think where I'm really actively watching how fast this is going and trying to control it, maybe there's something to be said for that I don't know.

$.02

This is my current girlfriend. Our baby is due in March.



Here's a few from the past couple of years.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v322/146/7/1423478219/n1423478219_72636_8223.jpg

You are so desperate to love that you are not seeing things straight, listen to those people in here, learn from others experiences and mistakes. Love only comes when you meet, touch, kiss and have sex. what you think is love is just an illusion. And people lie a lot specially because they don't have to face you when they do it. Be sure of your feelings before you say it, its a serious business.

I've been kinda desperate in my past won't lie, but this....this feels different, only time can tell though. And I know people do lie, but I still trust her, it takes a lot for her to open up so I have no reason to doubt her in what she has opened up about.

As for being sure of my feelings, that's why I have not said it yet.

maybe you are hoping its different its easy to seem open when your not face to face with someone..i could lie and say on here i have ovarian cancer and how would you know the difference if im lying or not?

It's just how we relate to each other, we've had many long conversations about a lot of things, both about each other and where this is going.

Granted the chemistry we have in reality may be different, but we do have something there at the least from the chats we have had. I really don't wanna keep rehashing this though, whatever may happen when we meet, I trust her and that's not gonna change.

son, when you put intimate details of your life out on a forum like this and ask opinions, you will get them. some you will like, some you will disagree with, some may piss you off. thing is you put it out there to begin with. why? you wanted feedback to help you weigh the pros and cons and make a wise choice? or did you want everyone to pat you on the back and say good job? you seem to have made your decision already. and that's ok, just stick to it and don't be afraid to suffer the consequences if it doesn't go well. that is part of growing up. you will learn it all in due time. btw you certainly are a scoundrel there texas.

I more wanted to hear other experiences really more then feedback on my own situation.

hmmmm....love when do you tell someone that you love them,well according to this story you think you already are ready to say it...i can't give you an experience cause i've never jumped the gun,so i guess i'll end it right here

cool, glad you cleared that up. looking at your original post, maybe next time go with the first sentence you used only. that way people will comment on just that. the additional information you provided is probably what made people give you advice.

Point taken, probably would have helped.

yes, yes... and you feel compelled to seek validation over, and over again... it actually becomes predictable and boring after a while...

$.02