What does Jesus need to kill in you?? Good Question!
Anyone willing to be forthcoming?

I say he need to kill my anger I have inside since my husband passed away 6 years ago

Is it anger? Or heartbreak?

both,,,do you have any thing you need to remove from your life

Nope... I usually deal with, and let go of difficult things as they come.

Jesus has been helping me with my anger since my wife passed away five years ago. A sister at work who is the mother of our pastor thought the nursing home where I work was just where God wanted me to be. She used to work there herself. She sure was right. Four years I have worked there as an aide and it is a daily anger management program. God helps me to deal with my own anger by allowing me to help others. In other words if I get angry from helping others then I am doing something wrong. My favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes. Vanity, vanity all is vanity is my favorite verse. God gave me this poem. Mea Culpa means: I am to blame.

Mea Culpa

Mea Culpa be with me.
Mea Culpa set me free.
Mea Culpa let me be.
Mea Culpa dance with me.

Mea Culpa you're the one.
Mea Culpa you're such fun.
Mea Culpa I love you, hon.
Mea Culpa we're not done.

Mea Culpa loves me so.
Mea Culpa I do know.
Mea Culpa helps me grow.
Mea Culpa lets me flow.

It would have to be my will, Mendy if I go by the scriptures. Not my will but thine be done.

Guilt, insecurity, anger.....

And Depression...

Thinking the worse it going to happen

insecurity and doubt in life in general. Not doubt in our father, just doubt in anything coming of this life sometimes. I need strength and i pray our father gives me the strength to stay strong in life and not give up like i almost did one time.

my fears

I know what that feels like, Cowboy. One of Stephen King's quotes is, "God punishes us with life." A true alcoholic viewpoint that one. When we are at our weakest Jesus is at his strongest. Even at the cross he says, "Forgive them father for they know not what they do." I remember just sitting in the snow those many years ago all hopped on alcohol and drugs. I told God that I just give up. I am just going to sit in this snow and die. It doesn't matter any way whether I live or die. I even had the baseball cap that said, "Who knows?, Who cares? Why bother?. I think I got God's attention because he knows, he cares and he bothers. Because two large men picked me up and took me in. God just let me know in his own way that it wasn't my time to check out, yet and he would let me know when it was. It wasn't my life to give away because he had bought it with a price. I never was good at committing suicide anyways. I blame God for being alive. Its his fault that he loves me so much. It sure wasn't anything that I did to deserve his love. It is wonderful to feel saved by grace. I have had better luck dealing with grace than I ever had dealing with the law.

That is so inpiring, Im in a difficult place with depression, I can relate to a lot of what you have put.

anyone who know life will know storm in that life this is what the father said so you must get read for it but like most of us we dont know how,or the meaning of it and wan it comes it can take you down a road that you can not see coming and pain of can driver you nuts but we need this so we can grow in the lord and makes us better in the end but its hard thing may father be with you all, that are suffering God bless all

That is so inpiring, Im in a difficult place with depression, I can relate to a lot of what you have put.


I have to ask God for help with my anger. Last night I was dealing with my favorite pain. It was like to talking to the wall and talking to this resident was similar. I forgot the golden rule in nursing and that is, "He who argues with a fool is a fool." She is like 90 something and so tiny. Worked hard all her life and was so independent natured but only now she is in a nursing home. She had to raise kids and outlived her husband. She sees things one way and that is her way. I pray that God blesses her, today. She is such a sweetheart but very cantankerous.

amen brother!!! I know exactly how you felt. Reason i felt/sorta still feel like giving up at times is cause i've lost my life and everything in it that i knew. I was in a car wrech at 19, won't go into a whole bunch of details. But i broke my jaw in 5 places which then i suffocated, they figured it to be bout 36 hours i was without air. I was in a coma for 4.5 months and because of the lack of air for so long i received traumatic brain injury and was clinically dead for 40 minutes. Bout a year after that i lost the first love of my life, she smiled looked me in the eye and said I just can't handle seeing you with your disabilities and walked away. But our father has given me strength and has comforted my heart with she wasn't the one and the one will soon come into my life. And i trust every bit of that, that our father will give some meaning to my life.

I have been in my lowest point in my life when my husband suddenly passed away. I had to change my life my home different state in ohio where I live now. I take care of my mom and I dont mind but I still have days I feel cheated because my husband left me. God helped me through it all.

timidity

belief in my own sincerity to work for the benefit

fear


what did he say about fear - he will protect us

there is no need for fear

but aye I can't remmeber the exact words at the moment

I can relate with that. I felt cheated because my widow didn't take me with her. I wanted her to move over in the casket and make room for me. We agreed not to sleep in separate beds. I was jealous of God. I was angry at God. I would look at our marriage certificate on the wall and it said we were still married. We didn't get a divorce just because she died. I mean we said until death do we part but just because she was dead didn't mean I was. She might have gotten out of being married but I was still married. Try telling that to the ghost of love though; You just end up arguing with yourself. Try telling someone that the ghost is still alive to you and you will either hear that you are crazy or just lying. Or worse yet that you must move on. The grief understands where you are coming from though or someone else who has gone through grief. I had to combat the monster of grief head on. I let it know that Jesus overcame death, hell and the grave. Love isn't supposed to hurt, at least that is what I have been told. One day I had all the nothing and emptiness I could stand and I just asked God to fill me with his love. God doesn't abhor a vacuum like someone said that nature does. In the first book of Genesis God showed the void who was boss.