I am so proud of my beautiful friend. She came in puking even though she hadn't a beer in day. Bawling her eyes out and telling me that she can't live like this. She has the court involved to keep him away. She is feeling guilty as hell because she still loves him so much. She doesn't know where she will sleep tonight but I bet before the night is over one of the women will let her stay at their house. She says her life is a mess and she is just sick and tired of it. We asked her what she will do and she says she doesn't know but she has to do something. I know it will be scary for her but I am sure she will survive now. She has taken the first step. YAY!

Great to hear!! Thanks for the follow up...

You are welcome. I hope you are having a good day.

An anonymous envelope left addressed to her, showing the most evil of pictures that you can find,,of ABUSE TO A WOMAN,,,,even dead pic's.
Because ALL ABUSED PEOPLE HAVE THAT POSSIBLE FUTURE..and YES,,THATS GRAPHIC,,but so is an injury that cripples her for life beyond her already emotional scars she carries daily.....FRIENDS MAKE THAT HAPPEN,,even if she was to find out it was YOU who made it for her,,I personally would prefer to be hated by her than to allow her to KEEP BEING HURT...If the pic's SCARE THE H--- out of her,,,COOL,,she (MIGHT SEE HER TRUTH?,,And if NOT,,,nothing will show her until SHE IS HURT ENOUGH TO KNOW IT THROUGH THAT...? thats my BEST for ya....Good Luck..
And I will Pray for her spirit and her health....

She is getting better. She is talking to herself but at least she is communicating. I invited her to my meetings but she said that she had three years sober and the meetings made her want to drink, again. So I have decided to quit talking to her about that. Another friend of mine are worried about her mental health, though, now. I think she is a true submissive and not able of rational thought. I think she was hit one too many times to the head. I think she needs intervention to a woman's crisis center. In a moment of weakness she was hungry and she had him bring her a sandwich from Subway. I told her how my older sister had to make a choice between her husband and her kids. She is cognizant of the damage he has done to her but still obsessed with her love for him. She has a new boyfriend but it isn't like the love she has for her husband. Another female aide offered to call the law on him when he was waiting at the nursing home for her to come out. The other female aide finally convinced her that she was being stalked. We are trying to convince her if she plays with fire she will get burnt. He has debased her to the point of the victim trying to protect the abuser. I am going to talk to her sister and tell her that she might have to commit her sister to protect her sister until her sister can be rational.

this type mentality feels as if everyone is trying to "take" from her what she wants...

just encourage and embrace her decision, and her being with this guy.

totally encourage her.

tell her the beatings are worth it,if she decides so.

she loves him.

the more you tell her how awesome it is she loves him, in actuallity, the more she will question her love for him herself.

you empower someone by giving them totally what they want, then they are free to see, and know for themself, hell, i don't really want this guy anymore.

she has low low low self esteem.

so, build up her self esteem.

how does one do this?

tell her you support her decisions.

for good or bad.

if she saysd he is an awesome dude, than he is.

he is the ****.

the more others tell her how stupid she is for being with this guy, the lower the self esteem goes, the more she allows herself to get beat on.

so, basically, use total reverse psychology.

it works eveytime, and shortens the time she has to stay a victim, to learn to believe in herself, WITHOUT A MAN WANTING HER.

of course, this wouldn't work if their was self agenda at play, like someone else wanting her to leave, so he could have her, and play the saviour.

she has to believe in herself, and all the telling her that she is making stupid decisions, just makes her believe in herself less.

which is what got he in the spot she is in.

the fact that she is beautiful, should have no bearing on anything.

a ugly girl getting beat on is just as tragic as a beautiful girl.

if she wants to be with the guy, then ****ing support her, if your a true friend, and not just an opportunist for self.

if being with him is good enough that it outweighs the bad of being beaten, then trying to take her from him will but make her cling harder.

it's like taking candy from a child.

she will but find someone else with the same personality disorder of "possession run amock" next.

to allow the child to cure itself from the want of too much candy, simply give it all it wants, then it's own tummy ache will empower it to make it's own wise choices.

you must empower her by totally embracing what she wants.

totally.

and in short time, shorter this way, her own eyes will open.

I think she is cute. Granted. I will give you that one. I wouldn't want to play with her though or I would get burnt. So I am just fascinated with her irrational thought. It is like the moth attracted to the flame that will burn it. Yup. Tough love. I was given tough love when I first was able to accept sobriety and recovery. It does work. I have no control over her anyway.