I probably lean toward the narcissist for I do love myself [too often lately]

as for neurosis ... it has been dropped from the psychological disorder category by committee.

everyone is neurotic to some degree and all the people we classified as clinicly neurotic in the past have been shown to have various other disorders and a heightened neurosis was just a symptom of a deeper problem.

like being manic depressant or schitzophrenic parinoid or psychotic. etc.


as for someone that says all men are pigs ....
I have no use for them ... go oink oink ... and leave.

You may want to give this some serious thought before datin' a narcissist ... I don't think I'd wanna be behind doors that were closed and locked with this type of person ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.toddlertime.com/narcissism/what-is-npd.htm

What is Narcissism?

Written by Dr. Sam Vaknin

A pattern of traits and behaviors which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition.

Most narcissists (75%) are men.

NPD is one of a "family" of personality disorders (formerly known as "Cluster B").

Other members: Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD.
NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity") - or with substance abuse, or impulsive and reckless behaviors ("dual diagnosis").

Symptoms of Narcissism

• Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

• Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion

• Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)

• Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)

• Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations

• Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends

• Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

• Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her

Arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.

I'm still mulling it all over. On one hand, I'm leaning towards agreement with the posters (thanks to all) who advise that it's likely a lost cause and I should run screaming. This makes practical sense to me because I know I can't nor should I even want to change anyone. I am taking it all seriously because of a few key attributes that the person in question displays every time we talk seriously.
On the other hand, she's really attractive to me and has the kind of smile I'd like to wake up to every day...
I wish we'd met earlier in life, but I know that wishing is for fools.
I kind of feel like I'm going to regret whatever choice I make...

There has been some sound and thoughtful advice and I'm grateful for all the wisdom bestowed in this thread.

It's ALL helpful so thanks everyone, I really appreciate it...

Update for all those concerned...

Last night she helped me make up my mind by leaving me a long and emotional voice message which essentially questioned my interest in her since I didn't answer the phone ( I was in the shower ).

She left an ultimatum that if I wanted to see her again, I should call her back within 15 minutes... ( I didn't...)

I'm glad she made it easy for me...

Onwards and upwards for me now...

Anyone want to date a "pig" ?

Goodness!! In a heart beat

Seriously, Im sorry this happened Al. Its only because your a compassionate man that you were hung up. Sounds like angels did you a favour though, and saved you a world of grief.

Thank you for that... Of course I'd promise to strive not to embarrass you with my barnyard ways (oink oink) while in front of your mom...

Its all good Al, dont have one. I like a gentleman who knows how to be ...ungentlemanly

haha, such the gentleman-pig!!
Sorry that it didn't work out for ya this time... happy that you've come to a conclussion that lets you move on!! Best of luck!

It stings a little, I'll admit, but yes... I'm aware that things could be worse...

Thanks so so much for your compassion and sincere counsel... I don't take that kind of thing lightly.

5's Ted, and thanks man...

A lady that lives off some dead guys pension and complains about him and all men for her problems... deserves a good wake up call.

Gawd that burns me

In hindsight, she never hid her true colors... Right from the start she declared that she was a victim of thoughtless men who only want one thing.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt by not asking for more than mutual respect and attempting to be open and understanding. I don't understand ultimatums though so I'm bowing out...

I still wish her well and hope she finds what she's looking for...

One of the above posters nailed it I think when they explained that " I think when we find love, we forgive what we otherwise would not..."

I need to work on that, perhaps...