Topic: This Is Just Disturbing
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Tue 08/31/10 05:07 AM

Maybe those sites hook you up with a psychotic lunatics because you guys are psychotic lunatics. :tongue:

If I'm going pay $30.00 to meet up with psychotic lunatics I might as well go to a bar, at least you get beer...


Yeah, but I don't drink, and I have no interest in anyone who does. I like my psychotic lunatics sober.


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Tue 08/31/10 07:13 AM
Edited by Sabrosura089 on Tue 08/31/10 07:14 AM

So a guy came to talk to me today about the new book I just had published, the one about internet dating. And he mentions that he met his current girlfriend on eHarmony and they've been together for FOUR YEARS.

Well, I've seen the TV commercials for eHarmony, and those are some majorly scary-*** people they got over there, and I'm wondering what's up with this guy and if his girlfriend is one of the scary people.

Anyway, I took their 29-point-matching-personality-profile-and-chicken-gumbo thingie a few years ago, and they told me I was "unmatchable." They said 20% of the people who take it are "unmatchable."

Then somebody told me that the guy who owns the site is a religious whackjob, and they don't want people on the site who aren't Christian enough or homophobic enough, so after that, I was glad I didn't qhalify.

What's the point of all this? I have no idea. But I'll be damned if I'm going to pay them $29.95 a month to fix me up with some psychotic lunatic. I'm betting I can find someone to do it for HALF of that.


They are very selective about who attempts to join the site. I don't know about any psychotic lunatics, but there are plenty here/elsewhere so.......not surprised there are some there! lol

A friend of mine tried to join the site, and he was also rejected because his status was "separated". They would not consider him unless he were divorced.

They just use different criteria to screen their paying members vs. here/other sites where anyone can join regardless of their demographics, etc.......

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Tue 08/31/10 07:26 AM
I filled out the personality form on a free weekend. I do think it is a conservative site. The majority of my matches were in their late 50's to 60's and I'm 48. They never matched me with someone younger than 3 years from me. Talk about double standard. I did meet one guy a few times, but it definately wasn't a "good match".

I paid for a month many years ago. I never did meet anyone and all the matches were far away. I managed to talk to one guy on the phone. He wanted to know what size I was, since his last girlfriend was a size zero. Sadly, we didn't meet.bigsmile

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Tue 08/31/10 09:17 AM


So a guy came to talk to me today about the new book I just had published, the one about internet dating. And he mentions that he met his current girlfriend on eHarmony and they've been together for FOUR YEARS.

Well, I've seen the TV commercials for eHarmony, and those are some majorly scary-*** people they got over there, and I'm wondering what's up with this guy and if his girlfriend is one of the scary people.

Anyway, I took their 29-point-matching-personality-profile-and-chicken-gumbo thingie a few years ago, and they told me I was "unmatchable." They said 20% of the people who take it are "unmatchable."

Then somebody told me that the guy who owns the site is a religious whackjob, and they don't want people on the site who aren't Christian enough or homophobic enough, so after that, I was glad I didn't qhalify.

What's the point of all this? I have no idea. But I'll be damned if I'm going to pay them $29.95 a month to fix me up with some psychotic lunatic. I'm betting I can find someone to do it for HALF of that.


They are very selective about who attempts to join the site. I don't know about any psychotic lunatics, but there are plenty here/elsewhere so.......not surprised there are some there! lol

A friend of mine tried to join the site, and he was also rejected because his status was "separated". They would not consider him unless he were divorced.

They just use different criteria to screen their paying members vs. here/other sites where anyone can join regardless of their demographics, etc.......


Well, I'm OK with them setting up whatever criteria they want to have for people to join....

It's just that it would be nice to know about it UP FRONT....saves some time that way....

I mean, when I see ads for "Gay Bears Dating" or something along those lines, I have a pretty good idea that this is not something I want to pursue. They tell you right there in the name of the site what it's about.

eHarmony doesn't do that, and their commercials aren't at all specific about their admission standards. Of course, I understand they're trying to generate as many memberships as possible, so why put obvious limitations up right at the beginning? Still, I think it's slightly deceptive and I tend to be a lot more investigative when I'm looking at sites now.

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Tue 08/31/10 09:30 AM
Edited by Sabrosura089 on Tue 08/31/10 09:37 AM



So a guy came to talk to me today about the new book I just had published, the one about internet dating. And he mentions that he met his current girlfriend on eHarmony and they've been together for FOUR YEARS.

Well, I've seen the TV commercials for eHarmony, and those are some majorly scary-*** people they got over there, and I'm wondering what's up with this guy and if his girlfriend is one of the scary people.

Anyway, I took their 29-point-matching-personality-profile-and-chicken-gumbo thingie a few years ago, and they told me I was "unmatchable." They said 20% of the people who take it are "unmatchable."

Then somebody told me that the guy who owns the site is a religious whackjob, and they don't want people on the site who aren't Christian enough or homophobic enough, so after that, I was glad I didn't qhalify.

What's the point of all this? I have no idea. But I'll be damned if I'm going to pay them $29.95 a month to fix me up with some psychotic lunatic. I'm betting I can find someone to do it for HALF of that.


They are very selective about who attempts to join the site. I don't know about any psychotic lunatics, but there are plenty here/elsewhere so.......not surprised there are some there! lol

A friend of mine tried to join the site, and he was also rejected because his status was "separated". They would not consider him unless he were divorced.

They just use different criteria to screen their paying members vs. here/other sites where anyone can join regardless of their demographics, etc.......


Well, I'm OK with them setting up whatever criteria they want to have for people to join....

It's just that it would be nice to know about it UP FRONT....saves some time that way....

I mean, when I see ads for "Gay Bears Dating" or something along those lines, I have a pretty good idea that this is not something I want to pursue. They tell you right there in the name of the site what it's about.

eHarmony doesn't do that, and their commercials aren't at all specific about their admission standards. Of course, I understand they're trying to generate as many memberships as possible, so why put obvious limitations up right at the beginning? Still, I think it's slightly deceptive and I tend to be a lot more investigative when I'm looking at sites now.



I've never joined the site, but they do claim that they are a "non-conventional dating site". Thus, their style in screening their members is not going to mirror other dating sites. They appear to use a "scientific" approach along with a model.

In this day and age, we need to read everything (particularly the small print) before we commit.

Happy fishing!happy

P.S. I never joined because when I saw the pages and pages of their questionnaire I was like "WTF?!!". frustrated

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Tue 08/31/10 10:00 AM

I filled out the personality form on a free weekend. I do think it is a conservative site. The majority of my matches were in their late 50's to 60's and I'm 48. They never matched me with someone younger than 3 years from me. Talk about double standard. I did meet one guy a few times, but it definately wasn't a "good match".

I paid for a month many years ago. I never did meet anyone and all the matches were far away. I managed to talk to one guy on the phone. He wanted to know what size I was, since his last girlfriend was a size zero. Sadly, we didn't meet.bigsmile


"Conservative" describes my impression of it, as well.

And I really don't think I would have done very well there, regardless, as I'm not much for the "traditional" relationship scenario....

But they sent me an e-mail that said an average of 236 people a day get married because of their site....and if you look at that, day after day after day, that adds up to some huge numbers (but how many either have ended up or will end up divorced, down the road?) --

And they claim that 2.5% of all US marriages are people who met on their site --

This says something about dating sites, and about the people who use dating sites. I just haven't figured out what it is yet.

msharmony's photo
Tue 08/31/10 10:05 AM
Edited by msharmony on Tue 08/31/10 10:14 AM


Really? I did'nt know that info about the owner, makes sense though.

I can tell you that you're totally right about fixing you up with some psychotic lunatic. During my time there this happened to me twice and it was very frightening!! I don't scare easy either.

A friend of mine was also told that she was "unmatchable". I will admit that I still use it from time to time, and I have yet to be matched with somebody who might be even 20% of a soulmate to me.

Oh, and get this! They will also give you what they call 'flexible' matches that they relax your preferences just so they still send you matches.

I still wonder why I should be matched with 2 psycho stalkers, a total drunk, various control freaks, a sex crazed maniac and unhappy ladies with constant jaded questions?

What the heck? I'm a decent guy. I really hope that there is more out there, so I hopelessly wait laugh
heck we dont need to go to a site to find psycho stalkers and all those others we can do that out here n the real world.thats why i just stay here have met a few and were great folk's and have become close friends and they knew up front i just want friendship for now i have raised my grandson allmost 14yr's by myself and then i might consider a relationship and think i might allready have one just time will tell. good luck to all of u searching for that special someone keep faith good things come to those who wait:angel: winkingdrinks



I was thinking the same, in this day and age, any site with over ten thousand is probably going to have PLENTY of people with 'strange' backstories,,,,even mingle isnt immune,,,lol


I took the eharmony questionnaires and loved them,,,Im just hesitant to pay that type of price for a non guaranteed service,,,

justme659's photo
Tue 08/31/10 10:14 AM
Well what I want to know is this, the guy that interviewed you, did you get to ask him questions about his interaction with E-Ham balony? Did you find out who was the crazy of the couple? Him or her?

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Tue 08/31/10 10:15 AM
^^The questionnaire is online, not an actual person.......

justme659's photo
Tue 08/31/10 10:21 AM

So a guy came to talk to me today about the new book I just had published, the one about internet dating. And he mentions that he met his current girlfriend on eHarmony and they've been together for FOUR YEARS.



Sabrosura089,

I was asking about the original post, not the E-Ham balony survey questions. :thumbsup:

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Tue 08/31/10 10:25 AM

Well what I want to know is this, the guy that interviewed you, did you get to ask him questions about his interaction with E-Ham balony? Did you find out who was the crazy of the couple? Him or her?


He told me he had met a few others from that site previously, and they had all been wackos. Until this last one, and, apparently, something clicked, because they've been together for four years....!

I can say with some degree of certainty that he is not a psychotic lunatic. Of course, I've never met the girlfriend, so there you go....




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Tue 08/31/10 10:31 AM


So a guy came to talk to me today about the new book I just had published, the one about internet dating. And he mentions that he met his current girlfriend on eHarmony and they've been together for FOUR YEARS.



Sabrosura089,

I was asking about the original post, not the E-Ham balony survey questions. :thumbsup:


Well then I stand corrected! Hard to follow a thread w/no quotes, etc...


justme659's photo
Tue 08/31/10 10:33 AM


Well what I want to know is this, the guy that interviewed you, did you get to ask him questions about his interaction with E-Ham balony? Did you find out who was the crazy of the couple? Him or her?


He told me he had met a few others from that site previously, and they had all been wackos. Until this last one, and, apparently, something clicked, because they've been together for four years....!

I can say with some degree of certainty that he is not a psychotic lunatic. Of course, I've never met the girlfriend, so there you go....






I would hope that after 4 years with her that the lunatic side whould have presented it's self by now. He must be one very lucky gent. I know from my past experiences with that particualr site there is not enough money in the world for me to go back. ( Along with several others.)

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Tue 08/31/10 10:41 AM



Well what I want to know is this, the guy that interviewed you, did you get to ask him questions about his interaction with E-Ham balony? Did you find out who was the crazy of the couple? Him or her?


He told me he had met a few others from that site previously, and they had all been wackos. Until this last one, and, apparently, something clicked, because they've been together for four years....!

I can say with some degree of certainty that he is not a psychotic lunatic. Of course, I've never met the girlfriend, so there you go....






I would hope that after 4 years with her that the lunatic side whould have presented it's self by now. He must be one very lucky gent. I know from my past experiences with that particualr site there is not enough money in the world for me to go back. ( Along with several others.)


I liken it to the lottery -- sooner or later, somebody gets lucky and wins something.

In all fairness, I never signed up with eHarmony (after they told me I was "unmatchable," what would be the point?), but I did have a 3-month excursion on another pay site (in early 2006), which REALLY woke me up to the realities of THAT end of the business....


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Tue 08/31/10 01:27 PM
you published a book on internet dating...???

for some reason that strikes me as hilaroiusly ironic....

rofl

no offense intended...really.....winking

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Tue 08/31/10 01:34 PM

you published a book on internet dating...???

for some reason that strikes me as hilaroiusly ironic....

rofl

no offense intended...really.....winking


That was the whole idea -- one of the taglines in the ads is "Lex Fonteyne's new book is full of tips and advice and everything you'll ever need to know about having better luck with Internet dating than he ever did."


bohemianbugeater's photo
Tue 08/31/10 01:55 PM


After compareing several of the Match Site "interview questions" and results I have pretty much figured it was just some dingbat student graduate project and have no real truth as to the results like most so called tests for mental health. I am sure they have fun compileing the data and probably make a bundle selling it so who is the whacko?

What I find interesting is how many of the sites are changeing their names after they get bad PR. Dr.Phil was associated with Match.com. Now that is a site with some really strange characters.


A dating site should try to get a spokesperson with a reputation for successful relationships, someone like Mike Tyson or Elizabeth Taylor.


rofl drinker

venusenvy's photo
Tue 08/31/10 03:03 PM
Awww Lexy smooched smooched smooched Ive heard of a few peeps who were "unmatchable" on that site and I love em all! I tried to fill it out and then got paronoid thinking about who would access my info it was sooooo in depth it felt like a violation not a dating site. flowerforyou

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Tue 08/31/10 03:12 PM

Awww Lexy smooched smooched smooched Ive heard of a few peeps who were "unmatchable" on that site and I love em all! I tried to fill it out and then got paronoid thinking about who would access my info it was sooooo in depth it felt like a violation not a dating site. flowerforyou


I just got the impression (and continue to get it, based on things I hear from people who have been on that site) that it's all very regimented....they have this really specific, narrow idea of who they want there, and they try to keep the riffraff out.

And that's fine -- it's their site, and they should certainly have the right to run it any way they see fit.

But then I heard some stories about people wanting to quit the site and having a hard time getting them to stop charging their credit cards....and that doesn't sound very ethical, but it's all second-hand information, so what do I know?

But where does a pay site have any incentive to get people matched up, other than as "examples"? If you're paying them $29.95 a month to try to do something, and they have the opportunity to drag it out forever and keep taking your $29.95 every month, and then multiply that by 10 million members or whatever, then why would they EVER really get anybody together? Except for the handful on the commercials, and those could be actors, for all we know.


venusenvy's photo
Tue 08/31/10 03:29 PM
Really good points Lex...you should do a journalism/expose piece on them Ooooo like interview disgruntled former members etc...could be cool flowerforyou