Topic: have fallen for a married man
Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/18/10 04:06 PM
I have known people who have done similar things like this. They come crying to ya "I don't know how I got myself into this mess. Woah is me." and the reality is.....YOU MADE A FREAKING CHOICE TO DO IT. Yeah, this chick was thinking with her groin area. I don't want to hear about how her heart was aching for this dude. He is flipping married. Once she found out, she should have been pissed. Instead, she wants sympathy. Goof no like!

And Torgo, you love me serious. :wink:

MeChrissy2's photo
Wed 08/18/10 04:23 PM
Goof is his most sexy when serious.

BTW, the majority of the posts here have spoken the truth. Either you will listen or you won't. He will chose his own road and more than likely hurt his family anyway. Your choice is what kind of person you want to be.

mightymoe's photo
Wed 08/18/10 04:27 PM
lol what did you expect people to say here? this is a singles site, 50-90% of us have been cheated on, and marriages ruined. if you expected people to give you sympathy, better think again.

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 08/18/10 06:22 PM

i was once in love with my friends wife, and i hung around them while trying to figure out what to do. her husband treated her badly, lots of mental abuse. she didn't seem happy with him, but i could tell she really loved him, part of the reason i fell in love with her. she didn't deserve any of his abuse, as no woman does, but her in particular. i never told her how i felt, even though she knew, because i felt it just wasn't my place to. after i found out he cheated on her a few times, i could not be friends with him anymore, and i eventually lost contact with them both. during this time, i was fired from 2 jobs and had a car repossessed. all because i could not tell her how i felt. i also recently found out that he started dealing drugs, and she was hooked on meth. i wish i had told her now, but everything happened ten years ago, and all i can do is kick myself about it. do what your heart tells you, your mind is not always right in matters of the heart.


MM, you are a very sweet guy, but I can guarantee you she would have ended up on meth or some other substance with or without you. She chooses to be the victim in that relationship. You'd be surprised how many women choose to stay in that role because that's what they're comfortable with. You did the right thing in staying out of it. flowerforyou


mightymoe's photo
Wed 08/18/10 06:29 PM


i was once in love with my friends wife, and i hung around them while trying to figure out what to do. her husband treated her badly, lots of mental abuse. she didn't seem happy with him, but i could tell she really loved him, part of the reason i fell in love with her. she didn't deserve any of his abuse, as no woman does, but her in particular. i never told her how i felt, even though she knew, because i felt it just wasn't my place to. after i found out he cheated on her a few times, i could not be friends with him anymore, and i eventually lost contact with them both. during this time, i was fired from 2 jobs and had a car repossessed. all because i could not tell her how i felt. i also recently found out that he started dealing drugs, and she was hooked on meth. i wish i had told her now, but everything happened ten years ago, and all i can do is kick myself about it. do what your heart tells you, your mind is not always right in matters of the heart.


MM, you are a very sweet guy, but I can guarantee you she would have ended up on meth or some other substance with or without you. She chooses to be the victim in that relationship. You'd be surprised how many women choose to stay in that role because that's what they're comfortable with. You did the right thing in staying out of it. flowerforyou



thank you...your to kind

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 08/18/10 06:29 PM
To the OP:

The bottom line is that we have all done things in our lives that we are ashamed of or shouldn't have done. We have all, at one time or another, made excuses for ourselves to behave badly. But, this is the present...you have to decide where you're going to go from here. Are you going to be the mature woman with decency and self-respect? Or are you going to be the childish, selfish woman who only thinks of herself? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But, this is a serious situation and a lot of lives are at stake here.

Good luck to you.

newarkjw's photo
Wed 08/18/10 06:48 PM
You never put the cart before the horse. I have no respect for anyone that can't own up to this. What you have to realize is this is a dangerous game you are playing. When this dudes wife finds out about you, and she will, she will probably be looking to whoop you azz. Tread lightly........smokin

mightymoe's photo
Wed 08/18/10 06:51 PM

To the OP:

The bottom line is that we have all done things in our lives that we are ashamed of or shouldn't have done. We have all, at one time or another, made excuses for ourselves to behave badly. But, this is the present...you have to decide where you're going to go from here. Are you going to be the mature woman with decency and self-respect? Or are you going to be the childish, selfish woman who only thinks of herself? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But, this is a serious situation and a lot of lives are at stake here.

Good luck to you.


oops offtopic really nice pic, ruth
flowers

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 08/18/10 07:01 PM


To the OP:

The bottom line is that we have all done things in our lives that we are ashamed of or shouldn't have done. We have all, at one time or another, made excuses for ourselves to behave badly. But, this is the present...you have to decide where you're going to go from here. Are you going to be the mature woman with decency and self-respect? Or are you going to be the childish, selfish woman who only thinks of herself? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But, this is a serious situation and a lot of lives are at stake here.

Good luck to you.


oops offtopic really nice pic, ruth
flowers


Proof that I work....do ya see all those emails on that screen??? laugh

no photo
Wed 08/18/10 07:09 PM
If you posted this topic looking for sympathy and understanding, you probably didn't anticipate it would be read by people who've been shanked in their own lives by people like you who thought their actions were 'justifiable' ... sorry, it's NEVER 'justifiable'. Whatever pain you might feel as a result of your choice has been self-inflicted. Other posters here have given you good advice - even harsh advice - but it appears you choose to 'do what your heart tells you to do' ... Fine. Don't complain when everything later turns to schit and his wife has her attorney list your name in the court proceedings as a 'co-respondent' in their divorce case ...

Fade2Black's photo
Wed 08/18/10 08:05 PM

Slipped up on you?....you mean like a nieces birthday, or a thief in the night?

Why is it that whenever people do things they know are wrong, this becomes a viable defense?

You are a grown-up and you knew very well what was going on and still, you chose to allow it, own it and call it what it is. Do not lie to us or yourself. There comes a point when even in the midst of the bright and shiny, one makes a choice. There is always that one moment when we say to our selves yes, or no. Do you remember it? ……..Does he?

Do you think his family will search for it? That moment.

How about his wife? Will she wonder what it was like that instant he decided to forgo their life together? I bet she will and I bet she asks him to…I wonder how it is going to sound “I don’t know, it just slipped up on me,” I’m sure that will be quite comforting to her.



:thumbsup:

Goofball73's photo
Wed 08/18/10 08:35 PM
I guess I was supposed to be all nice, and proper, and just pat the OP on the head and say, "That'll do . That'll do". And hey....if ruining a marriage so she can get schlong is the way she wants to go, then who am I to judge? Yes...I said schlong. Word to your mutha!

Fade2Black's photo
Wed 08/18/10 08:37 PM
Edited by Fade2Black on Wed 08/18/10 08:44 PM
Ok. I've done the unthinkable. I've read through this entire thread. Woot.

To the OP .. you "can't get enough of him" ohwell That's called LUST darlin. Not love. And it's called wanting what you can't have. It's as old as the earth.:wink:

Forbidden is sexy. Period. You just took it one step further and rode the train. Enuf said.

To the posters .. I am proud of those who actually told her what's down. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:



Oh ya .. and for the cheaters .. Bad karma's a b*atch... just sayin

no photo
Thu 08/19/10 02:53 AM
Here is a book some of you may find interesting. I know the comments i am about to get will be that's no doubt. lmfaolaugh :wink: tongue2

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

no photo
Thu 08/19/10 02:57 AM


but i am not trying to help anyone spell or write a letter. know my limitations. or do i????? lol



Umm, from what I've read posted, the answer is 'no'.


rofl too funny. you maybe right. but still funny the way you caught that one. lol

no photo
Thu 08/19/10 03:17 AM
look guys i know about karma and i know this has no happy ending for anyone. I know it is wrong because she i being lied to. Lies hurt the most when from someone you love. I know I cant be the first nor will i be the last for this guy. I truly wish i didn't find him so likable. Yes i know you all think he is a slim ball but you really shouldn't judge people that have different ways of dealing with things than you do as the scum of the earth. I know it hurts to be lied to, but the truth now would be worse than the lie. I am sure it will end soon enough and yes i would hope before any damage done to his family. The last thing i want is for him to leave his wife. I do not wish that on anyone. I have been selfish, yes, but life is short and I chose to do what made me happy. If that takes me to hell so be it. I'm sure i will see more than one of you there too.

My goodness some uptight people in this forum. I knew this would get some very opinionated responses. Go ahead let it rip.


no photo
Thu 08/19/10 03:20 AM

You never put the cart before the horse. I have no respect for anyone that can't own up to this. What you have to realize is this is a dangerous game you are playing. When this dudes wife finds out about you, and she will, she will probably be looking to whoop you azz. Tread lightly........smokin


Oh please, she is much more civilized than that. Besides it would never happen. Maybe a ***** slap but whooping my azz would never happen. lolscared

kc0003's photo
Thu 08/19/10 06:10 AM

Here is a book some of you may find interesting. I know the comments i am about to get will be that's no doubt. lmfaolaugh :wink: tongue2

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.


ok here is the problem with this...she didn't get to decide if it was something she could handle, the two of you got to choose your own paths, but not her, you made decisions that directly affect her and the family that she thought she had.

for you to now try and justify anything (after the fact) by suggesting your views on fidelity or monogamy are different than most peoples' is really little more than smoke and mirrors.

if you feel like this type of arrangement is something you would be interested in, nobody can tell you that you are wrong, as long as EVERYONE involved is fully informed at the outset. the post you introduced clearly has left one person out of this loop.

no photo
Thu 08/19/10 06:19 AM
No good can come of this.

Take a hard look at yourself and figure out why this situation has such power over you. Then leave men alone for a few months. Get to know YOU.

Love is not about finding the right person, it is about being the right person.

Gossipmpm's photo
Thu 08/19/10 06:30 AM

Here is a book some of you may find interesting. I know the comments i am about to get will be that's no doubt. lmfaolaugh :wink: tongue2

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.


I doubt very much they tell ya to go rip apart families!!!!

I think they mean having ethics while being slutty- which is fine with me!!!

While your playing with other SINGLE people

in your relationship you are involving an unsuspecting woman and innocent children

why

cause ya wanna get laid. And stop the love shizz

if ya loved him baby

you'd let him go!!

You piss me off!!!:heart:

Bigtime!:heart: