I agree with this - and I try to let go - but I agree with Totage that I probably have control issues.

Thankfully I am aware of this character flaw, and when I meet a really good person, I am sure I can learn to open up and play nice.

"Trust" is a nebulous concept for me; as everyone I've trusted to any significant degree has turned out to be wholly unworthy of that trust.

I don't see me ever putting myself in a position to test that again.

I hear ya Sista me too

I completely agree with statement.

I never try to control someone else; I am, however, not open to someone else making decisions on my behalf either.

I think I take "live and let live" too seriously because my attitude is "you live your life waaaay over there and I'll do the same waaaaay over here." I am not ready to share my life with anyone right now.

Trust no one

I don't think its crazy. It can be tough to see things from another person's point of view. It may be that they are just trying to look out for you and your best interests. I would say to listen to what they have to say but it is ultimately your decision. Best of luck!

there are people who I think can know whats best for me, those who have observed and sacrificed for me , such as my parents and certain family members and friends

I feel they know me, by my history, and what things end in happiness for me and what things dont and what mistakes I most often make


I also think people can have my best interest at heart if they do things or say things to keep me from making similar mistakes that they did or if they give advice out of love and desire for my health and happiness,,,


it may be partly a trust thing(I trust my loved ones quite a bit) and it may be party a power thing ( I respect the authority and knowledge of my elders),,,which causes me to feel how I do

Agree ^^ in the case of anything I'm not that experienced at then someone else knowing what is best for me is not really unusual.

having an issue with them telling me would be a personality problem on my part unless they are rude in their expressiveness.

opinions of others about your or my actions is always worth considering and you may be surprised at how often they do know better.

I think you are speaking of advice here.

Although advice would be meant for the betterment of all who can listen to it and get something positive from it.

I am speaking of actually trusting someone, to say, make a choice on my behalf with me trusting that they know me well enough to do it to my satisfaction.

Although if you took someones advice and acted on it blindly that would be doing the same thing.

Not happening for me.

I always see a person trying to conform me to what they think I should be or to something more like themselves.

I have to distinguish that they are not doing the above before I can take their advice to heart and consider it valid.

Dragoness, I just read a great book. "The Control Freak" by Les Parrot. Really insightful.

Same here.

There is a huge difference between "This is how I would do it" and "This is how you should do it."

Thanks

If someone loves you they should have your best interest at heart on many levels....it SHOULD be the first concern. Other wise it's selfish, it's about them, not you.

Lex, we are the same at this level.

Whatever that determines, who knows

Preaching to the choir brother..........

I would think so.

Now one just has to know when to be able to trust that the person really does have their best interest at heart.

yeah well, that's the tricky part.

It usually takes a bit of pain to get there.

not always advise ... could be life and death ... you must do this.
really depends on the actual situation and what specificly you are talking about.
if its what you will eat for dinner on any given day
it sort of doesn't really matter that much ...
although they may know way more about nutrition than I do and may know I have some medical problem that I happen to be ignoring at that time .... so they are working in my best interest and I am not.

or the drink you are going to get ... and its the same thing every time you go in the bar ... well even the bartender knows that. It could be that simple.


without actual specific situations ... I cannot think any comment is valid about this. I only know that many people know better than I do about what to do and not do when I go into a factory I've never been in before and I must trust they are looking out for my best or there will be major law suits and compensation investigations to answer to.

I think someone who goes to a club I've never been to would be better at picking out what I should wear better than me also.

trust is essential in all aspects of your life ... not just your love life.

I don't know if it's necessarily a trust issue but I am the same way. From the day I was born, people have been trying to decide what is best for me without consulting me. Therefore, I don't trust very many people because I feel that I know what is right for me.