Last night I invited this guy I have only been hanging out with for about a week to go to the races, he said he couldn't that he was working on his bike. No big deal, I continued with my plan to go. Later on in the evening he sends a text asking what I am doing, told him I was heading to the races, he wanted to know if I wanted to get together later, I did so I said I did. We met last year went out a few times he was just coming out of a relationship, I wasn't interested in being a rebound, we kinda just quit talking.

He sends me text through out the evening we agree that I will leave the races early and hook up. He sends a text asking if I am still at the races, tells me where he is. I send a text saying that I am leaving the races. After I have already left, 20 minutes passes and he sends another text saying "no hurry, I will call you later"

It pissed me off because I left what I was doing to go hang out with him and he blew me off. I sent him a text telling him that even though I like him I think that is ****ed up because I left something that I was doing to hang with him. He then sends me a text stating that he likes me too but he isn't looking for a committed relationship right now.

One we haven't went out long enough for me to even consider that, I do enjoy his company but I am also enjoying being unattached for such a time as this.

I sent him back a text saying I was not that woman, he needed to grow up and to not bother calling me again.

I thought he was rude, I am pissed at myself for doing something I never do which is change plans.

It seemed to me that he was trying to keep me around in case he couldn't find someone better and that he thought I might be a late night booty call.

No I don't think you overreacted. I think you see him for what he is and are better off to move on! Sorry you had to go through this but better now then later when you were more involved

You didn't overreact, you got annoyed at his rudeness.. What he did was rude and considered game playing.... I wouldn't waste my time on someone so immature either...

...hmmmm...you stopped what you wanted to do, and was doing.....to do something else, because someone else wanted you to?


I think not....YOU decided to respond to the constant texting...YOU decided to leave the venue when you did....

YOU expected something....hence the overeaction when it didn't eventuate.


OWN your own shite....get on with doing what YOU want to do....don't deviate away from your own path....and whomever is supposed to accompany you on your life's journey will EVENTUALLY appear...

You have a wee walk alone for a while methinks...a teensy bit of growing up to do.

I appreciate the feedback. I can't tell you how pissed I got. I was also angry with myself that I changed my plans. It just seems that when I showed an interest in him beyond just friends he acted like an ***.

Jess642 you are probably right. I do own my choices and as far as dating goes, I probably do need to get wiser. I haven't dated in years so this is all new territory for me.

Regardless of what I did, I still think he was ****ing rude!

some people do that, male and female it seems to be an ego boost.. but some just don't realize they're doing it... Not worth any further thought for you... NEXT!

I agree he was rude....although the game of 'control' was well played...

you dangled a 'bait' (the races, a date-ish type hangout)...he swam away, (was busy with other stuff)...he changed the 'hook' (constant nagging via texting, giving the impression of regretting his declination of the date, and paying you attention)..and when you bit, he withdrew, (you left the races, said I am available...he changed tack..took back control)...

...the trick now is to NOT respond to the next text or call from him...or the whole powerplay control thing starts again.

I agree and that was very well put.

I agree he did treat you like a yoyo,

I just don't think your doing yourself a favor by being aggressive about it.

the swearing, the demeaning

Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression?

Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive...

Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though...

Just one of the things that make Aussies so cool... I'm gonna visit one of these days..

One from the guys...

he flaked and you got mad.

He had it coming. No sense in wasting any more time crying over spilled milk.

Move on!

The next episode should be better in theory!

Why waste time on a flake?

Self indulgent comes to mind! Is that what you want to associate yourself with?


Didn't think so!

Aussie's and rednecks do have something in common!

All I can say is been there, done that. When it happens all you can do is throw the bottom feeder back, re-bait your hook and hope the next nibble is a tastier fish.

OMG!!! Do we ever!!!...

Barb, call me Lee...everyone else does...to my face...I think it's Biaaatch behind my back...


Lovely to make your acquaintance...

gotta go...it's 6.22am Sunday and the sun FINALLY decided to get up...

I say we do heck I can swear with the best of them but seldom get aggressive.


But now for the guy write that sucker off. One thing I have learned is I do not change my plans for others when it comes to things you have planned for..

It made me wonder why he could not hold off on his bike long enough to go enjoy the races... His loss and your bad for leaving early..... Next time tell them if they are not good enough to go with you, then they are not good enough for you to be with them....

You are never called a biiiatch behind your back!!!


It is far worse than that...



The guy was rude and you didn't overeact. But you need to communicate better next time.

BTW if the guy blows you off once, don't be surprised if he does it again. Good luck!!

Thanks for the analysis Dr. Schmuck :-)

I guess you've got me all figured out.