this is in no way aimed at you, but it's this sort of thinking that leads to the games to begin with.

some people think so highly of themselves that the only way to get their attention is to knock them off their pedestal. and unfortunately, the only way to do that is to treat them like they aren't the ones worthy of the attention.

it's nasty, deceitful, trickery, and i abhor the behavior, but it seems to be the only way to "wake up" some people.

people are people and nothing but a person's actions make them better than any other person. somewhere along the lines however, people have started believing that their looks or their money automatically define them as better than those without looks or money. those are some of he people that the game works especially well on.

another problem is that we are taught through our failures that if we are to open, honest, or direct with our approach that we will likely be shot down. i've heard it on this site within the past two days "nobody wants something that comes to easily for them." maybe that's not an exact quote, but it's close enough and the meaning was the same. people are being taught to "play hard to get" or "make him work for it". these are stupid childish games that are continually being played because as children we played them and learned reactionary behavior from them. if a man approaches a woman directly and is just being himself, he's too easy and therefore boring, or not good enough. maybe he's just a nice, confident guy who goes after what he wants.

if we don't like the games that people play, we should stop teaching our children to play those games. otherwise, they will learn the same reactionary behaviors that we have learned and the dating world will continue down this same road it's on.


. . .

you'd be surprised at how well those things can work. some women are used to being catered to. and when a guy comes along and he acts the same as all of the others, they just dismiss him as not worthy. when a guy comes along and treats them differently they suddenly wonder why.
it's all part of the game.

He has a point, Melody.

But..a lot of the time, it's not a conscious decision.

Some wind up playing the " hard to get " game without even knowing they are doing it.

I agree with that

More than likely it comes from someone not being comfortable in their own skin. They think they want one thing but rarely follow through and it seems like they are playing games. Actually, they are just clueless.

a perfect example of some of the game playing can be found in the movie "swingers"


. . .

Never saw it ...

I remember the trailer: Matt Dillon installing speakers in a car and blowing out the windows when he cranks the stereo.

It also could be a " learned " behavior.

They see Mom or Dad treating the opposite sex a certain way, and without any real reinforcement from an opposing view, they wind up thinking that behavior is " normal " and wind up doing it themselves.

Still....not a conscious decision.

Duh! Swingers, Singles - aren't they synonyms?

not according to adult friend finder.

lol



. . .

Honestly, considering that you seem to have the right ideas ( but not the best luck ) it wouldn't appear that you actually need a " role model " Drew.

It would seem that past experiences have left a " bad taste " and that kind of thing can take a while to get past.

It took me a LONG time.

But now, I am happier than I have ever been.

Well..I can definitely relate.

It took me 4+ years to change the perceptions. Behaviors...some I am still working on and will be for a long time to come.

The woman you see in my picture changed my perceptions in a big way.

I was ( and just about anyone that knew me when I started here ) pretty bitter about the things that happened to me.

Up until about 8 months ago...I would have been the LAST person to think there was someone out there for me that wouldn't do all the same crap.