Come on Drew, this isn't the reason ALL people are single.

Many know how to approach others but either they haven’t met the right person or they prefer being single.

Being partnered or single doesn't make one an expert either way. I know a few dysfunctional people in relationships. They are afraid of being single because they are anti social and/or socially inept and not necessarily happy being with the person they are with now.

Single does not mean useless in the ways of dating advice.

Why do you feel that because someone is single now, they've never had luck before? Sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes relationships end. Sometimes people choose to be single. However, I'm pretty sure many people here have had luck in the past, even if they are single now. Why do you think only married people have done something right? I know some who are very unhappily married.

To be a GREAT T-MAN,,,,you have to do YOUR best part..
Let HER text YOU FIRST,,,,,wink,then YOU can ANSWER,,,



THATS It!!!!!




HEY,,that'll be TWO CENTS WORTH MAN!!!








I wouldn't worry to much on any chick diggin you through a text,,most young ones just PLAY-IT,,and older ones don't do it much,, and the ones your age,,if really into wanting to chat,,will just say CALL ME,,heres my number,,,,wink..

I say let the chick make the first move. Yeah.....let her call and say that great come on line of "Baby. I know you gots to be tired. Cause you've been running through my mind all day". Of course, you being the dude you are, you will be shocked....offended. But, within twenty minutes, you will swoon to her as she lays more lines on ya. Two hours later....you are her little biatch!

i was wrong. you shouldn't ask any of the happily married people because they could really be unhappily married.

yes, some people do stay in relationships because they don't have the strength to go it alone. and yes, some people are so happy being single that they pretend to be looking for someone but just can't seem to find mr./ms. perfect.

the best advice seems to be "be yourself". however, if your self sux, that may not work well for you.

now, seriously.
first of all, is it a real number? people have been known to give out fake numbers just so that other people will leave them alone.

second, assuming it is a real number, she obviously liked you enough to give you her number so that's a plus in the you column right from the start.

third, going with the first two being true, she'll be expecting your call. it is bad form to call her on the same evening that she gave you her number (stalker territory). after that, it all depends on what feels right to you. make her wait to long though and she'll think that you weren't really interested or you were just playing with her and that could ruin things for the next guy that asks for her number.

the thing to remember throughout all of your interaction is that you should be respectful and confident. you have to be your own person and you have to respect yourself a little more than you respect her. a woman doesn't want a man who goes along with everything she says/thinks. she wants to know that you have some sense of who you are even if she doesn't like everything about you. if you manage to score a date with her, be proactive. plan the date. set the time and place. you can tell her where you plan on taking her, but don't say "I don't know, where would you like to go?" it shows indecisiveness. if you're taking her to an italian restaurant and she doesn't like italian, she'll tell you.

just remember, it's all trial and error. unless she's a real b!tch, she won't expect you to be perfect. at least not for the first few dates. and if you blow it, so what? there are other women.



. . .

true, not all of the people here are socially inept, but some of us are.
and some of us are single because we keep getting it wrong.

it's true that even those of us who are complete failures can give advice. at least we can tell people what doesn't work.

i was a little put off by you slamming the one guy's rule system though.


. . .

Do people honestly go by those kind of rules that were given earlier in this thread? And if so, does it really work for you? I just don't see that thing going over so well.

did i tell u today i love you?

Just be yourself, and talk to her.

Drew, I didn't slam his rules. I used a light tone rather being rancorous.

Just because we all differ in opinions doesn’t mean the tone is implacable. I can’t use “lol” and smileys all the time. We are adults and my replies won’t carry validity if I sugar coat my manner.

I have an opinion but I champion around the "live and let live" ideal.

Besides, why would YOU be put off by something not addresses to you? You seem sensitive lately. I hope all is well with you.

you'd be surprised at how well those things can work. some women are used to being catered to. and when a guy comes along and he acts the same as all of the others, they just dismiss him as not worthy. when a guy comes along and treats them differently they suddenly wonder why.

it's all part of the game.


. . .

I guess silly phone games can work with some women. For me, games like that are a big turn off and a good indication I should move onto someone more mature. If he's playing games, he's definitely not worthy of my attention.

Leave the high school games back in high school.

i've been put off because there seems to be a lot of direct attacks going on lately and they seem to be going unnoticed/dismissed by the mod's. some of them have been aimed in my direction. i know that sometimes i can come off as cavalier, but i very rarely directly attack somebody.


this was IMO a slam. maybe not a "yo mama" joke slam, but...well whatever. i'm not a mod, what do i know?


i thought the first 2 rules/guidelines were solid suggestions.



. . .

okay, i have to clarify that i didn't mean that there were a lot of attacks in this thread, nor did i mean to insinuate that there were any attacks in this tread aimed at me.
i meant that in the forums there have been a lot of attacks....
etc. etc. etc.


. . .

Relax! No one is attacking anyone. We're discussing the topic (which includes posts throughout this thread, such as those rules). While you may agree with the topic, others may not. That does not mean we're attacking you.

Wow. If you think I slammed him then you are really sensitive. I did not - I simply stated my reply. It didn't agree with you but that doesn't mean I slammed him.

I didn't call him "a name". Even if I said his rules were asinine, I wouldn’t be attacking HIM. I didn't say his rules were anything. I countered his reply.

I can't believe you are so offended. That offends me! (j/k)

this is in no way aimed at you, but it's this sort of thinking that leads to the games to begin with.

some people think so highly of themselves that the only way to get their attention is to knock them off their pedestal. and unfortunately, the only way to do that is to treat them like they aren't the ones worthy of the attention.

it's nasty, deceitful, trickery, and i abhor the behavior, but it seems to be the only way to "wake up" some people.

people are people and nothing but a person's actions make them better than any other person. somewhere along the lines however, people have started believing that their looks or their money automatically define them as better than those without looks or money. those are some of he people that the game works especially well on.

another problem is that we are taught through our failures that if we are too open, honest, or direct with our approach that we will likely be shot down. i've heard it on this site within the past two days "nobody wants something that comes to easily for them." maybe that's not an exact quote, but it's close enough and the meaning was the same. people are being taught to "play hard to get" or "make him work for it". these are stupid childish games that are continually being played because as children we played them and learned reactionary behavior from them. if a man approaches a woman directly and is just being himself, he's too easy and therefore boring, or not good enough. maybe he's just a nice, confident guy who goes after what he wants.

if we don't like the games that people play, we should stop teaching our children to play those games. otherwise, they will learn the same reactionary behaviors that we have learned and the dating world will continue down this same road it's on.


. . .

I've never met anyone as you have described. Your examples blow me away. I would run away form anyone that resembles your examples.

Only straight up, “be themselves” guys for me. I sniff that playa attitude a mile away.

I honestly can't imagine anyone wanting to play games or encourage this behavior. So sad ....

Drew, as you can see, I was responding to your post below. Specifically to the part that's in bold.



You seemed to be saying that in order to treat someone differently, you must play games. What I'm saying is the game playing is not different. And not worthy of attention. I prefer a guy who is straightforward. If he's interested, he'll tell me. If he wants to talk to me, he'll call me. He won't be following some rules that tell him when and what he should be doing. He'll think for himself instead. It has nothing to do with wanting to be knocked off a pedestal.

I'm sorry if you've had bad luck in the past with women, but don't assume we're all the same and will treat you the same as those have in the past. But, if you feel more comfortable playing games like many other men, keep doing so if it's working for you.

He has a point, Melody.

But..a lot of the time, it's not a conscious decision.

Some wind up playing the " hard to get " game without even knowing they are doing it.

I agree with that

More than likely it comes from someone not being comfortable in their own skin. They think they want one thing but rarely follow through and it seems like they are playing games. Actually, they are just clueless.