Topic: Why are you single?
no photo
Thu 06/10/10 08:48 AM


Why does a break up have to be a "failure?" I don't feel like any of my relationships are failures...they just ended.


Because 99% of the people view their single-ness as a failure of themselves or someone else's who failed them.


I don't think that being single means I'm a failure. From the looks of this thread some others don't see themselves that way either.

Though, most who ask the why are you single question seem to be looking for others to tell them what's wrong with them and why they failed.

no photo
Thu 06/10/10 08:54 AM

This is a counter thread to the "why are you here"? :banana:

Here is the real reason:

You have made a mistake either

-before
-during
-after

your last relationship. The theory of "not my fault" doesn't work. It takes 2 to fail a relationship. Once you admit to yourself that you aren't a sweet angel who never makes a mistake and forgive yourself (we are all humans), then you are on the right track.


All of my past relationships were mistakes, to varying degrees, both on my part and on theirs.


And if you had more failed ones, than that reapplies, that you ran in the mouse wheel more times, only to fall out of it and then realized (after a while) that you weren't getting anywhere, no matter how fast or hard you were running.


Good point. I learned (albeit only after having the same piano fall on my head 94 times) that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. Being in a relationship where you spend most of your time trying to devise a graceful way out is not exactly the ideal scenario.


One thing is sure, you cannot fail if you never try and failing is not a bad thing when it comes to relationships, but take it as a challenge you have gone through.


I'm at the point where challenges of this sort hold no appeal for me anymore.


Anyone who says that they have never had a failed relationship, they are either lying, never had a relationship, or living in a fake shallow world, and most likely less experienced than you or me (supposedly anyone reading this is a single who had failed relationship(s) on this dating site.


My experience has been that failed relationships are the only kind that exist.

Totage's photo
Thu 06/10/10 09:06 AM
I'm single now because I have more important things to focus on.

msmyka's photo
Thu 06/10/10 09:15 AM
I'm single cuz I do what I want when I want and I like it that way bigsmile

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 06/10/10 09:58 AM
Cause I have not found a man I could put up with 24/7 noway noway :laughing: :laughing:

74Drew's photo
Thu 06/10/10 10:09 AM
i'm not a failure, i'm just completely inept.


. . .

no photo
Thu 06/10/10 01:08 PM
i wish i knew why i was single. all i hear is i am sweet but...

Jess642's photo
Thu 06/10/10 01:10 PM
....because I CHOOSE to be.

If I didn't wish to be unpartnered, I wouldn't be.

This whole kindergarten mentality is becoming a wee bit of a yawn...yawn

no photo
Thu 06/10/10 01:12 PM

This is a counter thread to the "why are you here"? :banana:

Here is the real reason:

You have made a mistake either

-before
-during
-after

your last relationship. The theory of "not my fault" doesn't work. It takes 2 to fail a relationship. Once you admit to yourself that you aren't a sweet angel who never makes a mistake and forgive yourself (we are all humans), then you are on the right track.

And if you had more failed ones, than that reapplies, that you ran in the mouse wheel more times, only to fall out of it and then realized (after a while) that you weren't getting anywhere, no matter how fast or hard you were running.


One thing is sure, you cannot fail if you never try and failing is not a bad thing when it comes to relationships, but take it as a challenge you have gone through.

Anyone who says that they have never had a failed relationship, they are either lying, never had a relationship, or living in a fake shallow world, and most likely less experienced than you or me (supposedly anyone reading this is a single who had failed relationship(s) on this dating site.


it's not what I did....it's what I didn't do...

KerryO's photo
Thu 06/10/10 02:19 PM

This is a counter thread to the "why are you here"? :banana:

Here is the real reason:

You have made a mistake either

-before
-during
-after

your last relationship. The theory of "not my fault" doesn't work. It takes 2 to fail a relationship. Once you admit to yourself that you aren't a sweet angel who never makes a mistake and forgive yourself (we are all humans), then you are on the right track.

And if you had more failed ones, than that reapplies, that you ran in the mouse wheel more times, only to fall out of it and then realized (after a while) that you weren't getting anywhere, no matter how fast or hard you were running.


One thing is sure, you cannot fail if you never try and failing is not a bad thing when it comes to relationships, but take it as a challenge you have gone through.

Anyone who says that they have never had a failed relationship, they are either lying, never had a relationship, or living in a fake shallow world, and most likely less experienced than you or me (supposedly anyone reading this is a single who had failed relationship(s) on this dating site.





Well, let me put to you this way-- I went to two, not just one, marriage counselors alone because my ex refused to go and wanted out of the marriage. The second one was a Methodist minister who listened to my story and said that 'under these circumstances, I don't think God is going to hold this against you."

Then she went to the Vatican to get an annullment of our marriage (her second, my _only_ one) so she could receive Holy Communion again in the Catholic Church.

But then she got sick and needed surgery. I stuck by her. Guess what happened when she recovered?

I still honor my wedding vows, and I'm even an Unbeliever.


-Kerry O.

ValentinaSS's photo
Thu 06/10/10 02:38 PM
because the right man for me doesn`t exist

EquusDancer's photo
Thu 06/10/10 10:27 PM
Because I do not want to be the only one compromising myself, my family and animals, my interests and beliefs anymore just to say I'm with someone.

AmbiantNight's photo
Thu 06/10/10 10:30 PM
Married someone i was not compatible with

ag7909's photo
Fri 06/11/10 12:59 AM
just haven't found her yet

myshell711's photo
Fri 06/11/10 03:17 AM

I'm still friends with all my ex's, they just weren't the right guy for me romantically.



Amen to that!!..flowerforyou

HopesAndWishes's photo
Fri 06/11/10 06:33 AM
Sometimes people simply pick the wrong person to date. As they get to know that person, it turns out they aren't a match.

HopesAndWishes's photo
Fri 06/11/10 06:34 AM
There are many positives to being single, it's not a negative at all. Also, it's fun to go out and do things alone and not have to be attached. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice to have a relationship, but it's not something I live for completely.

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 06/11/10 06:52 AM

The theory of "not my fault" doesn't work. It takes 2 to fail a relationship.



I totally disagree with this. It takes two to make a relationship work but only one to make it fail...........bigsmile

And actually I'm okay with being single, I'm not bored nor without things to do or people to talk too.. whoa

As far as my ex or past b/f's I harbor no ill wishes against them we all deserve to be happy it was just not meant to be with each other....

oldsage's photo
Fri 06/11/10 06:53 AM
Single because I chose to be.

southern_bee's photo
Fri 06/11/10 06:59 AM
well i like the thought of being in a relationship.but i tend to get bored quickly and will self sabotage a relationship close to the 3 week period and i pick guys that i know arent good for me..