While I can't endeavor to answer for ALL observers, as a chronic viewer and rare poster, here's my "excuse":

Many of the topics I view are completely asinine! My parents taught me if I didn't have anything nice to say...well, you know the rest.


Then there's the fact that the newbies get ignored quite often. He/she stumbles into a room where there's an obvious rapport between the participants, all with 68 billion posts each, and they try to add something. The old-timers continue the back and forth banter amongst themselves with nary a word to the 'infiltrator'.

While I'm sure it's unintentional on the part of the regulars, it can be quite daunting for the people trying to break in, especially if they're not real social to begin with (perhaps that's why they're here instead of out socializing?). The welcome thread is extremely welcoming, for lack of a better word, but once you leave there, it's like you fall off the screen entirely unless you have a flamboyant personality. I don't happen to possess one of those.

On a similar note, a regular can post the dumbest thing and get eighty-seven pages of responses; a newb can post an informative opinion on something and maybe get a page of replies. Many, I'm sure, are thinking WTF?!?!

I dunno. Some people prefer the shadows instead of the spotlight. Not sure I consider it a "problem" though. Different strokes for different folks.

Got that right. I mean, after the 14,883rd incarnation of "Would You Spit Creamed Corn On The Person Above You?" it starts to get old.

Then when someone tries to post a cerebral topic, SOMEBODY (no names -- the 86,317 of you who constantly do this know who you are) will either hijack it into an alcohol thread or a boobs thread. Or both. And then it will turn into "Would You Throw Alcohol And Boobs At The Person Above You?" And then it will get moved to Intimacy & Sex.



It used to be MUCH worse. I remember when there would be 47-page threads with only the same 6 people making all the posts. If anybody else tried to chime in, they were executed. Or ignored, I forget which. Still, it was bad.



Yeah, I'm the same way. When you're shy and retiring like us, it's hard to get noticed.



Very true. I don't really understand that either. I mean, someone with 82,935 posts can post "I found a nickel in my dog's dish" and the whole world wants to talk about it. Some newbie has an honest question about how to meet someone and it's like he's invisible. Of course, if he sticks around long enough to make 82,935 posts, the tables will have turned.



Well, I wish more people WOULD post, but that's really just because none of the current people seem to be paying any attention to me.

Hang in there... you're almost a quarter of the way there!

Yeah but it took me 3 1/2 years to get here....!

True but lots of times those that posted will come back to check out the thread to see if anyone responded to their response. Every time you click to open that thread it is a view so at times one person may have viewed that thread 20 times and each time it was recorded as a view......

Agree with most of what both of you wrote here. The worst part is I AM a 48,000 post member here and I get ignored often in the little clique-y threads.

Let's admit it. Some people have threads for a select few friends to keep in touch with eachother. I see nothing wrong with that, even though their 'social etiquette' is sorely lacking when I am ignored. LOL

BUT .. the ignorant, stupid, mindless threads about absolutely nothing of importance that excel to numerous pages when some of us start threads where you actually have to THINK and RESPOND .. well, when those threads go nowhere fast .. it IS a bit frustrating.


Bottom line though. If you don't keep trying it won't change. When I returned after a year off of here, I had a had time breaking back in. And I'm pretty well known. But I didn't give up.



SO OBSERVERS .. LISTEN TO ME ..

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

I visit threads usually more than one time without posting. Sometimes I have to go research something before I post. So I am the culprit of a few extra views.

For those that want cerebral topics, it would be nice if there was a forum for those that want that....It could be called "brain attack" or "On and on and on" or Cerebral topics"

I agree that the new people get ignored a lot on here as well as other sites.....I do try to say something when a new person joins in as well as a lot of the otheres here also do....I was in a thread a while back and a new person came in and said what was on their mind and the 3 people that were talking back and forth, just flat out ignored them....I went in and quoted that person and made small talk and they came back on and said something else and the ignore sign was lit up by the same three people, again I quoted that person and said a few things.....that person is one of the great posters on here now....

New people that are watching, come into the threads and keep coming back....It's a free site and you should feel wanted here...

Jumps off soapbox..

^^^ Good job on the incentive program for that newbie

Every once in a while there's a "cerebral" thread. Sometimes I just set up my DOA threads and post some pictures of pandas and horseshoe crabs and eventually ask really serious questions about the impermanent nature of everything but everybody is gone at that point.

I sit in the corner a lot of the time and just drink a coke.

This is an excellent post, and i do appreciate it. I do want the new members here, to feel welcomed. In my estimation, it's just common courtesy.

And hi, Judy.

Way to win points with the boss man Mike.

Hiya Marc

There are times I peek in to see what is being said even though I dont have a clue what the topic is about. Alot of things tend to go over my head. Theres ALOT of people on mingle with far more brains and wit than I have. So alot of the topic are way above my head. So to keep from sounding dum, I keep my mouth shut. But in the topics that I do understand, I do try to put my .02 worth in