As long as you pay your way when you fly to see her; fair is fair. As I said in my earlier post, this is the way it should be for the first few visits. I would never stay with a stranger or have a stranger in my house.

Independence is always the best answer - and not moving so fast next time!

You both made huge mistakes.

Well, now, I have to comment. Why, do they have to absorb all the costs to meet? It's not just a matter of them wanting to be with you, I am assuming you are wanting to be with them as well....finance your own part of that dream.

Or better yet...why can't you go to them?

my opionion is one "may think" they are interested in a romantic relationship with someone..... again like i always say.. until you meet in person and are around each other for sometime you will never know....

Well, perhaps. But I really do get attracted to people solely based off personality, so I'm the oddity in that.

Last time I went to them. i drove from out here to indiana. As it turned out. all she wanted me out there for was to eat her out for two days. then after she got her fill, She kicked me out. so.i had to drive back to cali, and move in with a friend.

Sounds like your problem is taking things entirely too fast.

That 50/50 thing rears its ugly head again.

Um, TMI dude! You're a little rough around the edges I see.

Kidding aside - slow the heck down! You are setting yourself up for something bad or you will keep repeating the same insane cycles.

when meeting afar... always communicate on who pays for what in the first place.. always make sure there is a two way ticket. so no one is trapped... you or her.

i admit i am as well.. however... you can be attracted to that online, but in person you get to experience that with.. and its not always what you thought it would be..

not sure you'll want it once you get it

Well. Im starting to feel that out of pure loneliness That im trying to regain and get back what I lost years ago. Thats a woman that truely loved me unconditionally. She was totally dedicated to me. Heart, mind body, and soul. Only woman in my life that truly understood me, put up with my many mood swings. always defended and protected my honor. Stuck with me through all my hardships. Even to the point of when I lost my job causing us to lose all we owned and a place to stay. she stuck with me living in our car for 4 months. A woman that after we finally divorced ( for reasons I wont go into) She waited for 14 years hoping that someday I would return back to her. In those 14 years, she turned down offers for a relationship. always hoping that I would return back to her . and once again marry her. Maybe im trying too hard to find the woman that will be just like her. And to go back to her is a dead issue. She died in 2008. I think about now. We must have had a stronger bond between us than I thought possable.I say that for the fact that as far as I can remember, Around the day she died, I got a real bad ill feeling that something bad had happened to her. And for the past 2 years that feeling never went away. Untill the day I got this pc and looked up death records in the town she lived in. And there it was. When I stared at it in black and white, Could do nothing but cry. And I cried up into the next day. Finally getting through my head, That no, she is irreplacable.

Well, bless your heart...I am sorry for the loss.

Please don't allow your loneliness and/or desperation to feel once you felt with her to guide your decisions. Folks are right on here, Sl-o-o-o-o-w things down. You most probably will not find what you had with her again, so don't lay that at someone else's door. Take your time, plan things out and when you do meet someone be sure it because you want to meet HER and not chasing a memory.

Thank you for that. Very good advice. Just may be time for me to put the life that my ex and I had together in the past and behind me. LOL got to admit that im getting too old to go through the life style that we lived for the 20 years that were married. WOW!!!!! Those were great years. I use many memories from those years as fantasies as In self serving. Think its time i keep them in mty mememory bank instead of trying so dam hard to recapture what her and I once had. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Now I must learn how to have a " normal" relationship. Never once in the past 30 years gave that a thought. Hell.May be worth trying.

You're welcome! Thank you sharing such a personal part of your life. I do feel the love you must have felt for her in your words, and I feel the loss you've been carrying with you. Keep your memories, just make some room for some new ones!

Yes. I loved her with such a deep love that more than likely I will never pocess again. And Im the type that when I give my heart to someone. Its forever. Just as in the case of this past fiasco. Even though she had deciet on her mind. I still loved her. and she will always be in my heart. and if ever she gets her hed on straight and needs help, or a shoulder to lean on. Yes. I wouldnt hesitate in helping her. I have already forgiven her in my heart. Because when I give my heart. Its TOTALY UNCONDITIONAL.

Well also what does getting serious right away mean? Did he give her the boot because she expected respect and wouldn't put out? I think the whole thing sounds reprehensible, and I hesitate to absorb criticism of the woman because she is not here to give her side.

If I were to go see someone (and I have in the past) I would never assume they'd pay for me. Like Melody said earlier, it's best to pay your own way in the beginning.

OK ewwwwwww :barfing:
After two posts worth of tool, nice guy, tool, sad guy, tool, pity that guy, tool, from now on, tool
holy crap where do I sign up

oh to write like you!

hello,ive been reading this topic with dismay,i have come to the conclusion that in the usa,if a woman dont put out you boot her out,how sad.