I'm wondering if anybody has any thoughts on the idea that there are certain things we do or are in our lives that create a sort of "stigma" which precludes some people from seeing us as viable partners....I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of occupations and such....

For example -- I've seen it mentioned that there are people who would not date a police officer. Whether this is because they don't like "authority figures" or just that they don't want to be with someone who is in a potentially dangerous line of work, it impacts on the potential pool of prospects.

Me, I don't think I could get involved with someone in politics. Politics bores me to tears (I'm thematically an anarchist) and I really don't care one way or the other about any of that stuff.

The reason this came to mind is because I've noticed that my being a writer seems to have had a negative impact on the way I'm perceived by some people. I get referred to as "complicated and intimidating" a lot, but, apparently, it's only because I know how to write sentences properly, which is a pretty lousy thing to be denigrated for, in my opinion!

So, maybe instead of telling people that I'm an author who has published 4 books in the last 2 years, I would be better off to say I'm a drunken village idiot who lives in the back of a pickup truck with two squirrels and an ostrich.

Maybe ostriches are "complicated and intimidating" too, these days. Jeeez, I don't know what these people want anymore....

The aging hippie thing I've got going on doesn't have them beating down the door, Lex...not to mention my addiction to nicotine

Where I'm at right now I can't imagine many occupations dissuading me from dating somebody if there was a genuine connection.

I'd definitely be put off by some occupations... but none of it is really a deal breaker. Then again, if I met a girl who's a professional butcher and wants to be a butcher for the rest of her life... I would have to question her motivations.

And I wouldn't really have a problem dating a cop, even though I hate cops. They already own handcuffs, I can maybe play with their gun, and cops get the best weed.

I've been told that I come off as intimidating, which is pretty hilarious to me. I haven't published anything... but people still refer to me as intimidating. I don't really get it.

I don't either. But I hear it a lot, and everybody who raises the point seems to tie it to my writing.

I'm wondering if this is really just a buffered variation of "I'm not interested" -- ??

Because I keep seeing profiles of women who claim they want a guy who knows how to express himself, but....

Guess it's time to get a pickup truck, myself. How'd you catch those two squirrels, Lex?

My hunch is that the "aging hippie" scenario has a rather limited target constituency, i.e., other aging hippies and wannabe aging hippies. It's sort of recursive.....!!

I had this idea that being an internationally-known author (and I've sold books in at least 3 countries, so that counts!) would make me a veritable chick magnet. But no!

I've already done the musician thing, so what's left? Actor? Politician? Oxi-Clean spokesperson? Ambassador to Ghana? I just don't know anymore.

They're really just cats I stuck bushy tails on.

Good point. Unfortunately, it is all I've got...

Lex, I see a comedians job in your future. That writes funny books about funny internet stuff....Really

Of course there is a stigma for us. Just being a single mom is an immediate one for many of us women here. Like you, there are many men who would prefer no children..so we already have one strike before we get out of the gate. Add on top of that a occupation that isn't desirable..for some. I'm one of the ones who wouldn't be interested in cops, I just don't like them and like you have no interest in politics.
I'm quite sure my life style has given me a stigma...and that's ok. Don't we all want one who accepts us for who we are and will allow us to be just that. I know I do...I can't change who I am, and neither can you...and why should we. We all deserve the freedom to be who we are and still be lovable.

"Complicated and intimidating" is a nice way of saying "I'm better than you, because I speak the Kings English." Ya know, whatever floats your boat is fine... But, it seems pretty juvenile to dismiss someone just because of their literacy... If people spent half the time they do worrying about how people "view" them, as they did on bettering themselves... the World would be a better place!

indeed!

So glad I could give a flying F uok in a rolling doughnut what people think of me...

I'm working on that. I did a comic strip for awhile that I'll be turning into a "collection" in a book, down the road.

I would never date someone who's job it was to either have sex or take their clothes off.

I don't care for some cops... only the ones with horrible attitudes who think they are God.

Someone into politics, probably not. They are usually not as open minded as I would need to be able to hold decent conversations. I need someone who can see both sides whether they agree or not.

I don't think I could date someone who is extremely wealthy either, I just wouldn't fit in with that life style. As much as people say they want to be rich, how many know what it actually means... besides just having $$$ to spend however they want.




I'm not "intimidated" by any of these things but I know myself well enough to know works and what doesn't. The only one that is an ABSOLUTE no is the first.... the others I would still be open to the possibility of.

Hummm mine could be due to the fact I have been divorced for so long that it makes some think there is something wrong with that fact..... Who really knows I just know there are certain things I look for as well or even shy away from those that are in that category or within those limits. How ever one wants to put it or label it.

Myself those deep within politics or Religion regardless which one if it takes up their whole life style then sorry I tend to back off from those....... Those are two areas that if that is all their world consist of then I would be real bored real quick......

there's a term thrown around down here for people in my occupation. offshore trash. sooo, many stigmas come with an occupation on the water requiring periods away from the home. on bothe sides really, though. for the people at home, and for the one on the water. its frustrating really. oh well....i'm still paid HAHA

Shshshs that is my idea man know any single guys my age range lmao shshsh that would work out perfect while they were working you did not have to worry about them that is if they are off shore... as far as running around and hell they would be glad to see ya when they are home......... Perfect set up and ya both get your time away from each other as well.....

LOL true dat!

MMMMM I'm sensing a thematic repetitiveness.

Lex, I will never again think that I just can't get a date. I will think that my target constituency is unhappy by my performance, therefore not receptive to my overtures.

Once again, you help me see things better. BTW, working for the Government, I have had people email me about being big brother. I'm more like little sister, don't you think?