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| Topic: Abusive Relationships | |
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there will be more abusive relationships for you in the future...the past is no indicator for future results adage applies only to stocks, doesn't stand true for relationships ... maybe the guy isn't abusive at all, perhaps he's opinionated and saying whats on his mind and your perception of that is abuse..there are no examples of abuse except for "no matter what I say Im always wrong. He makes me feel bad about myself" .. and this doesn't even qualify for abuse since its so general...i know hundreds of girls that feel bad about themselves and there's not even a guy in the equation.. roko he makes me feel bad about myself when he compares me to other girls that are in his eyes considered beautiful and he makes jokes about my body. thats not abuse, but to call me the maid in the house and when i have to fight with him about doing the damn dishes or cleaning the bathroom or even vacuuming and he tells me to stfu ***** and just do it, i live here for free its the least i can do. yea i take that as abuse considering he lives for free and i dont run under his command. he says these bad things that im selfish and a ***** and heartless and its just not true. because i go against what he wants me to be doing, is when he lashes out and calls me names and gets pissed. i dont have to stand for that. Ok so...leave...find your own place to live  if it were that simple i would have by now It is that simple...get a job a leave  i have a job, thank you. i cant financially support myself. Im 18 and literally on my own. if it were that easy to pick up my **** and move out i would have. and i wouldnt have been with him for a year. make sense? just because i havent done so yet doesnt mean im not working on it. right now its between school and work or going home to start doing what i came here to do all over again. and that sure as hell wont be easy. until then, i know what i need to be doing, and im going to do it. |
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Sent a message to you Sam. I'm on my ipod touch right now and didn't get all of what I wanted to say in there, but any questions about what I said, just ask in a message back.
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Here is my 2cents: I am 38. I got divorced last year. After the divorce a guy I bowled with and seen at least 1 a week for a year, offered me a job working for him. I liked him as a person and thought I would like to date him, I also needed a job, so I accepted the job. It wasn't long and we started dating. He was great I was so happy. I moved in with him and then I started noticing things. We were together 24/7. He would get upset if I talked to anyone. It didnt matter if it was a friend or family. He called me all the time. If he didnt get his way he would make it sound like he did so much for me and I didnt do anything for him. He told me how much he loved me, and he even told me how I didnt love him. Now if you haven't caught on yet, this man was controlling. When things were good, they were real good. But when he didn't approve of something I did or that HE THOUGHT was wrong, crap hit the fan. The guilt trips started!!!! When guilt trips didnt work, all the mean things he could think of would come out of his mouth. Now this man never hit me!!! But emotional abuse is just as bad as physical. I know I have been through that also. I realized one day that I was asking myself : "wow is what he said true am I like that?" Now I knew better, I wasnt like that but I was still doubting myself. Finally I realized that this man that loved me and that I loved. Was doing nothing more than killing my self esteem!! He was doing it to have control over me. I admit it was very mildly that he was doing this, but i knew the signs and I also talked to friends about it and they told me to get away from him!!! We broke up a few times and I noticed the stronger i was the more argueing we did. I finally told him. I love you but for me to be truely happy, I cant be with you. I packed up my things and left. Yep I went back a few times. STUPID!!! But again I kept my eyes open and he was still doing the same thing. Each time we broke up quicker and quicker until a month ago I said goodbye and meant it. I seen him tonight and he told me he thinks of me daily and loves me and wanted to know if I ever thought of him. I told him I do think of him, but we dont see eye to eye and I wouldnt get back with him. I hope this may help you decide what you want to do. By the way I kept going back to him because of a few reasons. I did love him. I also needed a job (he fired me everytime we broke up). And well my family that I lived with made me feel like I was imposing by staying at there house, no matter what I did, it wasnt good enough either. So I kept going back to him. Better men are out there.. it may take awhile to find him, but one day you will. I am having a hard time reading paragraphs..I need glasses.. What I got from it ..is a part of the mental abuse came in the form of you second quessing urself....became stripped of your intellligence,,,emotions....your identity as who you are... when my children were babies I asked him one day.."why do you treat me so badly and say such horrible things to me and to others about me"? His responce was because "he felt I was the mentally stronger of the 2 of us".... He got 3 middle fingers and became 1 lonely man for yrs..... I left....healthy..with my children.... |
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I think she may have signed off... Let's hope the guy didn't look to see what she was chatting about on here.
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I think she may have signed off... Let's hope the guy didn't look to see what she was chatting about on here. that would really suck.... From another site...I convinced a friend to drive to virginia...to get a abuse woman......bad shape....alot of the abuse was from the site... With my mouth and passion...I got permenantly band from the site... But I helped another female in distress.... |
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there will be more abusive relationships for you in the future...the past is no indicator for future results adage applies only to stocks, doesn't stand true for relationships ... maybe the guy isn't abusive at all, perhaps he's opinionated and saying whats on his mind and your perception of that is abuse..there are no examples of abuse except for "no matter what I say Im always wrong. He makes me feel bad about myself" .. and this doesn't even qualify for abuse since its so general...i know hundreds of girls that feel bad about themselves and there's not even a guy in the equation.. roko he makes me feel bad about myself when he compares me to other girls that are in his eyes considered beautiful and he makes jokes about my body. thats not abuse, but to call me the maid in the house and when i have to fight with him about doing the damn dishes or cleaning the bathroom or even vacuuming and he tells me to stfu ***** and just do it, i live here for free its the least i can do. yea i take that as abuse considering he lives for free and i dont run under his command. he says these bad things that im selfish and a ***** and heartless and its just not true. because i go against what he wants me to be doing, is when he lashes out and calls me names and gets pissed. i dont have to stand for that. Ok so...leave...find your own place to live if it were that simple i would have by now as i wrote in another post last night..."I'll grab one leg and u grab the other" anyone up for pulling this young lady out of the fire???? I just had a cig..and I need another... 2;15 a.m....she's off...she comes back tomorrow... I will be back.....   
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Edited by
Etrain
on
Fri 04/09/10 11:19 PM
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I'm just finding it hard to believe she has no friends or family that would maybe put her up for a bit till she can get through school...at least she could get away from him
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I think she may have signed off... Let's hope the guy didn't look to see what she was chatting about on here. that would really suck.... From another site...I convinced a friend to drive to virginia...to get a abuse woman......bad shape....alot of the abuse was from the site... With my mouth and passion...I got permenantly band from the site... But I helped another female in distress.... I'd say getting banned was definitely worth it since you at least got to help a victim of abuse. |
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I'm just finding it hard to believe she has no friends or family that would maybe put her up for a bit till she can get through school...at least she could get away from him Yeah or maybe the school can help with setting her up in a dorm room, if the college she is at has dorms... |
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She has choices.
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She has choices. Let's hope she makes the right ones.
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