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| Topic: stupidity | |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help Since every couple is different and none of us knows the specifics of your relationship, no one but you and your bf can really decide what's best for you. I have never cheated and have never been cheated on- would I forgive a guy for cheating on me? I don't know, since I've never been in that situation. It's easy for most people to say "Oh, I'd never do that!" or "You really need to do this!" Until you've been there, you don't know what you'll do. I've had to ask for forgiveness for other things though, and I appreciated it when it was given. I will repeat, it's up to you what you choose to do in your relationship, whether it's "stupid" or not depends on how you feel. You've already said you can't trust him anymore; without trust there is no relationship. So you've answered your own question. Trust your instincts, they're usually right. Good luck in whatever decision you make.  thank you.. i will decide the best! that he will lose me forever! :) |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help Since every couple is different and none of us knows the specifics of your relationship, no one but you and your bf can really decide what's best for you. I have never cheated and have never been cheated on- would I forgive a guy for cheating on me? I don't know, since I've never been in that situation. It's easy for most people to say "Oh, I'd never do that!" or "You really need to do this!" Until you've been there, you don't know what you'll do. I've had to ask for forgiveness for other things though, and I appreciated it when it was given. I will repeat, it's up to you what you choose to do in your relationship, whether it's "stupid" or not depends on how you feel. You've already said you can't trust him anymore; without trust there is no relationship. So you've answered your own question. Trust your instincts, they're usually right. Good luck in whatever decision you make. thank you.. i will decide the best! that he will lose me forever! :) jezi, you have friends and potential friends here on Mingle, and friends in your community, and family that will help you get through this. I know it's hard, we all do, but you'll survive, and you'll be stronger, and one day soon, you'll be ready to find love again with someone true and honest and loyal to only you.
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help Since every couple is different and none of us knows the specifics of your relationship, no one but you and your bf can really decide what's best for you. I have never cheated and have never been cheated on- would I forgive a guy for cheating on me? I don't know, since I've never been in that situation. It's easy for most people to say "Oh, I'd never do that!" or "You really need to do this!" Until you've been there, you don't know what you'll do. I've had to ask for forgiveness for other things though, and I appreciated it when it was given. I will repeat, it's up to you what you choose to do in your relationship, whether it's "stupid" or not depends on how you feel. You've already said you can't trust him anymore; without trust there is no relationship. So you've answered your own question. Trust your instincts, they're usually right. Good luck in whatever decision you make. thank you.. i will decide the best! that he will lose me forever! :) jezi, you have friends and potential friends here on Mingle, and friends in your community, and family that will help you get through this. I know it's hard, we all do, but you'll survive, and you'll be stronger, and one day soon, you'll be ready to find love again with someone true and honest and loyal to only you. im looking forward to that.. i have to be positive to moved on.. :) |
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
on
Mon 04/05/10 12:11 PM
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thing is he lied to me.. then i found out that he cheated on me... i talk to the girl and i discover everything.. he wants me to believe everything he says.. that he loves me.. convincing! but still im glad i found out the truth and it really hurts! now he wants us to talk.. im so confused.. :( thats why i ask some opinions here to uplift my spirit.. so i can decide which best way i can do. thanks to all of you.. this really helps..  It sounds like you love him, he may also truly love you - but you may want to ask yourself, seperate from love - is his behavior acceptable to you? Personally, if I am in a relationship with someone, it is not acceptable for them to sleep with other people. If I am in a relationship with someone it is not acceptable for them to lie to me. If I am in a relationship with someone, it is not acceptable for them to disrespect me.... I think you see my point, it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I feel for you that this has happened - I wish you the best of luck... $.02
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I live in my own stupidty everyday.
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I won't judge ya ...
... But? ... Usually, if ya need to ask? ...  It'd be curtains w/ me, that's fo damn sho!!! |
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O ... And I'd forgive, always ... Dump the toxicity for your own sake ...
But, I would NOT forget and take him back ... That is just me ... Some damage is too irreparable ... So is trust gone mistrust! |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help It's understandable that you still love him but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you? If he did he would not have cheated, no matter what the excuse. I know it hurts like heII but if you let him get away with it once you're only setting yourself up for failure again. He needs to know what it's like to lose you for what he's done. Only then will you know if he's got it in him to do whatever it takes to earn your trust again and get you back. |
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Yep, someone that selfishly, willfully hurts does not have any regard for you ...
THAT is not love, that is love took a train outta Dodge ... Simple truth, they will do it again ... and in many more ways ... |
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Jezimari, You have been given a lot of great advice by people here. All I can say is, I have forgiven for many things in my past relationships, and most of the time I got burned again and again. The last man I really cared about was with another woman; he never dreamed I would find out. I need to clarify though-he was not obligated to me at the time but it still really hurt because we were trying to work on things. I was so crushed. I went through lots of tears, sadness, anger, all of it. He begged me to be with him. Swore he wouldn't do it again. I walked away. So hard to do.
 I still sting from it. But like Dancere said, forgiveness is so key to your healing. I looked at your profile. You are a beautiful woman! You sound very sweet, too. Let time heal your heart. Surround yourself with good friends and family. Let yourself have a good cry or seek out a shoulder to lean on when you need to. I'm still healing, but every day is better and better. You may wish to block him from contacting you; I know that kind of thing bothers me and just "stirs the pot" and does not help the healing happen any faster. I am sorry you were hurt. I think all of us have been in many different ways. Wishing you a better tomorrow, and great happiness. Jen 
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thing is he lied to me.. then i found out that he cheated on me... i talk to the girl and i discover everything.. he wants me to believe everything he says.. that he loves me.. convincing! but still im glad i found out the truth and it really hurts! now he wants us to talk.. im so confused.. :( thats why i ask some opinions here to uplift my spirit.. so i can decide which best way i can do. thanks to all of you.. this really helps.. It sounds like you love him, he may also truly love you - but you may want to ask yourself, seperate from love - is his behavior acceptable to you? Personally, if I am in a relationship with someone, it is not acceptable for them to sleep with other people. If I am in a relationship with someone it is not acceptable for them to lie to me. If I am in a relationship with someone, it is not acceptable for them to disrespect me.... I think you see my point, it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I feel for you that this has happened - I wish you the best of luck... $.02 1 thing i know after this, he didnt treat me right, he didnt respect me..at all! maybe im not good enough for him.. well its his lose not mind! i will not let him ruined my life again.. never! coz if u love someone.. u will think the best of the relationship! so im done with him.. woohoo! |
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O ... And I'd forgive, always ... Dump the toxicity for your own sake ... But, I would NOT forget and take him back ... That is just me ... Some damage is too irreparable ... So is trust gone mistrust! very true... once theres a crack it will never put together again.. i dont trust him anymore so no more relationship! |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help It's understandable that you still love him but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you? If he did he would not have cheated, no matter what the excuse. I know it hurts like heII but if you let him get away with it once you're only setting yourself up for failure again. He needs to know what it's like to lose you for what he's done. Only then will you know if he's got it in him to do whatever it takes to earn your trust again and get you back. im fully awake now of my stupidity...so im free...drama free! trust is very important in a relationship and he broke my trust! cant take it back now..:) |
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Yep, someone that selfishly, willfully hurts does not have any regard for you ... THAT is not love, that is love took a train outta Dodge ... Simple truth, they will do it again ... and in many more ways ... yes!! yes!!! and yes!!! 
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Jezimari, You have been given a lot of great advice by people here. All I can say is, I have forgiven for many things in my past relationships, and most of the time I got burned again and again. The last man I really cared about was with another woman; he never dreamed I would find out. I need to clarify though-he was not obligated to me at the time but it still really hurt because we were trying to work on things. I was so crushed. I went through lots of tears, sadness, anger, all of it. He begged me to be with him. Swore he wouldn't do it again. I walked away. So hard to do. I still sting from it. But like Dancere said, forgiveness is so key to your healing. I looked at your profile. You are a beautiful woman! You sound very sweet, too. Let time heal your heart. Surround yourself with good friends and family. Let yourself have a good cry or seek out a shoulder to lean on when you need to. I'm still healing, but every day is better and better. You may wish to block him from contacting you; I know that kind of thing bothers me and just "stirs the pot" and does not help the healing happen any faster. I am sorry you were hurt. I think all of us have been in many different ways. Wishing you a better tomorrow, and great happiness. Jen yes, and i appreciate all of you! i never knew each one of you but i feel the sincerity of your heart. life is full of **** sometimes, lol... and life must go on.. im still healing my heart.. its just him bothering me again.. why? coz he knows im different! but you know what.. since i had found out his cheating and lies.. i didnt cry! i just felt soo upset! i can forgive yes, but i cant forget that easy. i still have faith that after this challenge , soon turn out to be happiness throught out my life. and i dont give up life nor hope just because of him... i have to moved on and be proud myself!
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Of course there is always the exception, but generally if someone cheats once they will do it again. I have known couples who have successfully through an infidelity but only after a minimum of a year in counseling together.
So, generally speaking, I would say its a waste of your time to take him back. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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Of course there is always the exception, but generally if someone cheats once they will do it again. I have known couples who have successfully through an infidelity but only after a minimum of a year in counseling together. So, generally speaking, I would say its a waste of your time to take him back. I'm sorry you are going through this. i will..:) it takes time though..
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help yes ma'am |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help By taking him back, you just gave him permission to do it again. |
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is it stupid when you found out that your bf cheated on you and you still forgive him and back together? help help Interesting question. A very smart person told me a long time ago that you can never go back........  Wise, wise words, Jeff. All of us have felt used or betrayed at one time or another...whether it was cheating, lying, or a myriad of other stupid acts causing loss of trust...it's hard to get past that feeling of being an idiot. But you gotta remember...THEY are the offender...you didn't ask for it the first time...but you DO ask for it the 2nd...or 3rd...or 4th, etc...time. It's easy for someone to tell you to get over it & move on...but believe me...it will happen when you least expect it. I wish you luck... |
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