an i ant trying to down on ure daughters bf or anything but if he really kared he should ov told them that she could say an not to b azzholes an re jects

I don't think he is the kind to tell his parents off like that, he's too respectful. That's why he stayed with her as long as he could.

I understand that but still im respectful to but i would of told them to f off

i have a question?
why is your daughter living with jon and not with you

Because I live in a sucky area in NY and I wanted my daughter to move to a better area and better schooling. I will be out there shortly so I didn't want her moving in the middle of a school year.

She is a great kid, and I am glad to have her here.

Im going to be devils advocate here. IF the parents indeed invited ur daughter, than yes, they were jerks to send her on.

IF, however, it was the boyfriend who invited her to his PARENTS house without their permission and they stood their ground, I dont think it was the most terrible thing for the son AND the daughter(nearly college aged) to hang in the gas station , unless its a high crime area or something.

It was on the 'older' boyfriend to secure the place for his company, not on his parents. Perhaps they didnt have the gas to spare to drive 40 minutes round trip or perhaps they just planned to do something else with their time,, both would be their right.

mind you, this is only IF it wasnt the parents who specifically made the invitation.

The friend driving her concerns me too. Dropping her off without making sure she was welcomed inside is a no no. Personally, if I take a child somewhere, I take responsibility to get them home, if something doesnt work out. Favor or no favor, one way rides are not an option for me without knowing the childs final destination.

I guess my first question is this, did the parents KNOW she was coming over for that length of time? Were the parents home during the time she was there? If not, maybe that is why they were so upset?!? I know I do NOT allow a girl to come into my home while I am not there...kids do stupid stuff!!
I would have let her stay there until Jon picked her up BUT I would have had the understanding that this was never to happen again IF I didn't ok everything from the beginning!! Some parents are strict..I happen to be one of them!

Our kids are dating for crying out loud.

I extend every courtesy towards their son and it would be nice if his parents helped out even a little bit. A ride home would have been nice, but I don't think I'm out of bounds to expect them to provide a warm, safe place until my arrival.

There was even a time that his parents were going to pick up their son from the movies and have mine walk home.

Honestly I don't care who's kid it is or whom they live with that is irrelevant. No one should ever leave someone else child anywhere but where it is totally safe. And that should be within their care until someone was able to pick her up if they are not willing to take her home or at least taken home.

Come on leave a 17 year old girl all alone in and area she does not know............How ignorant is that?????????????? Specially in these days and times............


Heck I would be pissed if that happen to my daughter that is 25....

Yes they told her she could come over, she wouldn't just show up anywhere where she wasn't invited.

Even if he did invite her to the house, they had plenty of time to say "You need to be picked up by, say 7:30pm (or whatever time)" so my daughter could have made sure she had a ride before Jon got out of work. AND I don't know if it is alright for teenage girls to hang around gas stations by themselves in North Vegas where you are, but sleazebags cruise places like gas stations or 24 convenience stores just looking for a girl alone, and it doesn't have to be a high crime area (ie Ted Bundy)


I don't understand what you mean "up to him to secure the place"...secure the gas station? His parents didn't let him stay with her to make sure she was secure. If they couldn't drive her home as I said, they should have let her know early enough when she needed to have a ride to get home whether it be because they didn't want to drive her or because of other plans.

It may be their right to say you have to leave at a certain time, BUT it is a courtesy to make sure she knows the time table BEFORE her ride leaves so she can make arrangements.



Even if the parents didn't SPECIFICALLY make the invite, they should have let it be known just how long and when they wanted her to stay, BEFORE telling her to get her stuff and walk half a mile to the gas station, so she could have arranged another ride.

My daughter doesn't go where she isn't invited, they asked if she had a ride over and a ride home, she said yes. She told them when she got there Jon would be picking her up and they know what time he gets back from work, so that isn't an excuse. So it wasn't a one-way ride, she had a ride home. (Her friend's mother wouldn't have driven her there unless she knew Kate was invited.)

Totaly agree!There is no excuse for what happened.I would never of put the person out like that.Invited or not.

We will agree to disagree then. When I was seventeen , I could walk a mile or a mile and a half and I could hang out at a mall for three or four hours. I dont feel parents have to be COMPELLED at this age to clean up their 'child's messes unless they are in actual harm and it is not a childs place to invite someone to their parents home without their permission and just EXPECT the parents to drop whatever they planned to accomodate the childs company.

Unless this was an unsafe neighborhood, I dont see the harm in a nearly college aged child having to spend a mere hour waiting on her ride.

Had she been six or seven, Id feel differently. But ,unless she is very sheltered(which is possible too), at 17, i wouldnt see the harm in it.

Note: there are alot of ifs and unlesses because I dont have all the facts. i am just offering a possible point of view from a parent whose 'child' has put her on the spot before. I have had my 17 year old walk his friend home when invited over without my permission or outside the terms of my permission.

Msharmony said:

We will agree to disagree then. When I was seventeen , I could walk a mile or a mile and a half and I could hang out at a mall for three or four hours. I dont feel parents have to be COMPELLED at this age to clean up their 'child's messes unless they are in actual harm and it is not a childs place to invite someone to their parents home without their permission and just EXPECT the parents to drop whatever they planned to accomodate the childs company.

Unless this was an unsafe neighborhood, I dont see the harm in a nearly college aged child having to spend a mere hour waiting on her ride.

Had she been six or seven, Id feel differently. But ,unless she is very sheltered(which is possible too), at 17, i wouldnt see the harm in it.
Edited by msharmony on Thu 03/11/10 12:31 PM
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When you were 17, it was a different time than it is now. It was safer and there were less people when we were 17. There were also less cars.

Also, this 17 yr. old girl is new to the area.

I can't even relate to parents that would pick up their son from the movies and let another child walk home. I don't even know parents that would do something like that. It's wrong on so many levels. And it's a date and a girl?!

They are also not teaching their son how to treat a woman, IMO.

I understand, but I have teens who are living NOW as well. They do fine on their own for short periods of time. My only secession is IF this boy(or man depending upon how much older he is) was grown enough to have company but needed to have her come to his PARENTS house than it was upon HIM to be responsible(Im taking he is 18 or older) for making sure his girlfriend was safe. He did the right thing walking with her and under that situation , girlfriend and boyfriend walking together, I feel teens of this age would be just fine.

UNLESS its an extremely dangerous area. I lived up the street from a gas station. I would walk there REGULARLY as a teen, and hang there deciding what I wanted. I am not SO old as to say the traffic is so much different. Its all a matter of how safe the area is,, which is information I dont have in this situation. Where I live, it would be no issue for the 'kids' to walk to the gast station, the mcdonalds, or wherever.

i agree...however good the son is,just cannot be a reason to keep putting put the daughter in danger of any sort.

plus,the son should have taken a stand and said no,ill wait here with her..im bettin that Jon could have dropped him back off.

hope the son gets a car soon....i cant see this ending well any other way...
just mho,from what ive read so far.

ps,so Jon is the Capn,eyh,i enjoy reading some of his posts.

Yeah, the 'boyfriend' needs to start taking some responsibility, What type of young man has 'dates' that he doesnt even secure transportation for ahead of time,,,,?

msharmony, I never said the boyfriend was older than her, he is the same age and she DID HAVE TRANSPORTATION SET UP. IT WAS SECURED until his parents changed their mind on the time she had to leave.

From what it sounds like to me, his parents would have ripped him a new one if he stayed with her any longer and since he is underage he has to live by their rules.

My daughter isn't sheltered but was in a town she isn't familiar with, alone. When you were going places, you knew the area and the people working in the stores and such, but put yourself in her shoes...

You moved 2,550 miles away from home and are just getting accustomed to that town. Then you go visit someone 20 miles away from that town, who's home you were invited to, and they kick you out without you being able to be picked up at that time. So no one you look at is familiar to you, you have no money on you to buy anything so you are looking suspicious to the owners. Not to mention, you have a figure most guys drool all over themselves when they look at you, so to some driving through there, you are just an object to be leered at. It would make you feel very uncomfortable and kind of scared too.

Your son is in his teens, it will be different when your daughter is around this age and has developed and has men of all ages staring at her like that, like she is a piece of meat...

I'm just glad I was able to pick her up and get her something warm to drink.