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| Topic: need friendly advice only!! | |
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I will try to keep this simple as I can.For all the typos,give me a break.I will probibly have a few.
 I have two kids,not realy kids anymore. My son is 26.He has a very big anger problem.And thinks he knows everything.Has had this problem since he was two.Needless to say,he has been a big handfull. My daughter is 17.And picked on most of the time bye him.She loves him but can't stand him at the same time.  Well,He just got done with a 7 yr term in prison. Was aloud to come home only if he kept his attude in check.And to stay clean. Well, that didn' last very long.  He got hooked up with the same crowd.Witch happens to his dads family.Bad news from the word go. He is one that is always trying to run a scam,Is only nice when he is trying to sucker me into something.And when he doen't get his way,All he## breaks lose.He is so visious and hatefull.You can't talk to him because he know it all.And get rude and maen if you don't agree. Anyway,I have had more than enough of his crap & am throughing him out. He hs no money or anything but food.Our life is messed up when he is around.My daughter doesn't feel safe at home when he is there & i'm at work.He is a big boy,And angry. I think I am doing the rihgt thing.But sure would like some input on this. Thanks!  |
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever)
But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. |
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While he is your son, he's causing trouble at your home and doesn't show signs of changing his ways at the moment. I'd throw his a$$ out and hopefully he won't have to learn the hard way by landing back in jail. He's not a child anymore and needs to find his own place in this world and learn his lessons. Tough love
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever) But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. Thank you!My daughter hates drugs,thefs,and his attitude.I don't think it is fair to keep her living this way.She realy has tryed. |
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not enabling him anymore or by not doing anything, condoning the actions (in a way) doesn't mean you don't love him.
Sometimes doing things like this requires a lot of love for the person Best of luck to you 
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not enabling him anymore or by not doing anything, condoning the actions (in a way) doesn't mean you don't love him. Sometimes doing things like this requires a lot of love for the person Best of luck to you i completely agree with rose! |
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While he is your son, he's causing trouble at your home and doesn't show signs of changing his ways at the moment. I'd throw his a$$ out and hopefully he won't have to learn the hard way by landing back in jail. He's not a child anymore and needs to find his own place in this world and learn his lessons. Tough love I have done all I can for him.The only thing left is to kick him out.He has no respect,But oh boy! you better show him some.i have got to love him enough to do this. Thanks for your input. 
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Edited by
Winx
on
Tue 02/23/10 10:02 PM
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If he is on drugs and isn't paying money to live there, you're enabling him.
There's a site that could help you way more than we can here. naranonsupport: NarAnon Support - Support for Family and Friends of addicts. health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsupport/?m=0 - Cached I wish you the best with this. |
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever) But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. Thank you!My daughter hates drugs,thefs,and his attitude.I don't think it is fair to keep her living this way.She realy has tryed. i dont think counseling for him would even help and sense your daughter doesnt feel safe hes needs to go for your daughter needs to feel secure and right now she doesnt and your feeling all this. you dont need the tension or the worrying hes a bog boy with problems hes not going to grow up but yet my uncle was into drugs and he has been clean and sober for 21yrs with the help of his girlfriend... |
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not enabling him anymore or by not doing anything, condoning the actions (in a way) doesn't mean you don't love him. Sometimes doing things like this requires a lot of love for the person Best of luck to you i completely agree with rose! I agree too. |
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Edited by
wolfchic
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Tue 02/23/10 10:16 PM
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If he is on drugs and isn't paying money to live there, you're enabling him. There's a site that could help you way more than we can here. It's called "NarAnon Support - Support for Family and Friends of addicts." He is not on drugs all the time.He wan'ts pot,Or he wiil try to get me to take him to docs for pills.I know,same thing.I do not take him in for pill.Then he blows.but still won't.Thanks for the suport group. |
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever) But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. Thank you!My daughter hates drugs,thefs,and his attitude.I don't think it is fair to keep her living this way.She realy has tryed. i dont think counseling for him would even help and sense your daughter doesnt feel safe hes needs to go for your daughter needs to feel secure and right now she doesnt and your feeling all this. you dont need the tension or the worrying hes a bog boy with problems hes not going to grow up but yet my uncle was into drugs and he has been clean and sober for 21yrs with the help of his girlfriend... You are right.She is in counseling.I had to kick him out before he went to prison.It was her or him.He has went through all the programs.But does not change anything. |
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever) But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. Thank you!My daughter hates drugs,thefs,and his attitude.I don't think it is fair to keep her living this way.She realy has tryed. i dont think counseling for him would even help and sense your daughter doesnt feel safe hes needs to go for your daughter needs to feel secure and right now she doesnt and your feeling all this. you dont need the tension or the worrying hes a bog boy with problems hes not going to grow up but yet my uncle was into drugs and he has been clean and sober for 21yrs with the help of his girlfriend... You are right.She is in counseling.I had to kick him out before he went to prison.It was her or him.He has went through all the programs.But does not change anything. |
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I believe sometimes you have to use tough love. He is old enough to own up to his actions and when he wants real help for his problems, then be there for him (whether he goes to counseling or whatever) But you have to protect your daughter, as well and not condone his actions. If you were to let it continue, then you would be enabling him and that doesn't help him at all or help you and your daughter. Thank you!My daughter hates drugs,thefs,and his attitude.I don't think it is fair to keep her living this way.She realy has tryed. i dont think counseling for him would even help and sense your daughter doesnt feel safe hes needs to go for your daughter needs to feel secure and right now she doesnt and your feeling all this. you dont need the tension or the worrying hes a bog boy with problems hes not going to grow up but yet my uncle was into drugs and he has been clean and sober for 21yrs with the help of his girlfriend... You are right.She is in counseling.I had to kick him out before he went to prison.It was her or him.He has went through all the programs.But does not change anything. Thank you star.I know that kicking him out is the only way.It's just so hard to do.But he leaves me no choice! He does not have the suport of his dads family. I kicked him out awhile back because they are bad news,He called me to come get him because things were getting bad. I don't think he will have many places to go.His anger is going to get him every time.But we have had enough. I just may take you up on emailing you.Thanks my friend
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Any time I guess I miss read the support thing .
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Any time I guess I miss read the support thing . 
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Your doing the right thing!!
He's a 26 ur old adult male- capable of living his own life and his life is now in his own hands.... Not yours!!! Let him go.....fend for himself he'll make it. Or he won't. You did your job! It hurts no matter how old they are but it's the right thing!!! 
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Your doing the right thing!! He's a 26 ur old adult male- capable of living his own life and his life is now in his own hands.... Not yours!!! Let him go.....fend for himself he'll make it. Or he won't. You did your job! It hurts no matter how old they are but it's the right thing!!! .  Thats what I come up with.Thanks.
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I will try to keep this simple as I can.For all the typos,give me a break.I will probibly have a few. I have two kids,not realy kids anymore. My son is 26.He has a very big anger problem.And thinks he knows everything.Has had this problem since he was two.Needless to say,he has been a big handfull. My daughter is 17.And picked on most of the time bye him.She loves him but can't stand him at the same time. Well,He just got done with a 7 yr term in prison. Was aloud to come home only if he kept his attude in check.And to stay clean. Well, that didn' last very long. He got hooked up with the same crowd.Witch happens to his dads family.Bad news from the word go. He is one that is always trying to run a scam,Is only nice when he is trying to sucker me into something.And when he doen't get his way,All he## breaks lose.He is so visious and hatefull.You can't talk to him because he know it all.And get rude and maen if you don't agree. Anyway,I have had more than enough of his crap & am throughing him out. He hs no money or anything but food.Our life is messed up when he is around.My daughter doesn't feel safe at home when he is there & i'm at work.He is a big boy,And angry. I think I am doing the rihgt thing.But sure would like some input on this. Thanks! If he is not doing what he is suppose to be you turn him in to the probation or parole and let them deal with his grown butt. And throwing him out will definitely need to be done along with the reporting to the parole. |
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You would be doing the right thing in throwing him out. Your most important goal is that you can raise the minor in your house with as much stability and love as possible. That is very difficult to do when you have such a negative influence around. I have learned over the years that negativity just draws more to it. Quite frankly at his age he should be living on his own and focusing all his energy (good or bad) towards that goal. He is a grown man...Only he can help himself now. You can't help him but you can help your daughter.
Good Luck!
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