Teacher Emphasizes Old-Fashioned Etiquette
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David Knowles

David Knowles Writer
(Feb. 21) – In addition to the three R's, boys at one Arizona public high school have spent the past year learning to open doors for girls, pull out chairs for their female classmates and stand when a girl enters a room.

Incorporating etiquette lessons into the classroom was the brainchild of Cord Ivanyi, a Latin teacher at Gilbert Classical Academy, a public college prep school 30 miles east of Phoenix.
Etiquette lessons
Courtesy of Cord Ivanyi
Male students in Cord Ivanyi's Latin class at Gilbert Classical Academy high school have learned such etiquette techniques as seating the girls at their desks.

"I teach old-fashioned subjects," Ivanyi told AOL News, "so I don't think I'm doing anyone a disservice by promoting old-fashioned traditions."

A teacher for 14 years, Ivanyi said he was inspired to start demonstrating what he considers proper etiquette after witnessing the coarse behavior that some of the boys in his classes displayed toward the girls.

"Boys treat girls pretty roughly," he said. "And there was so much disruption, so I decided to do something about it."

The informal lessons began with Ivanyi standing up one day after a girl in the class had left the room to go to the bathroom. As she returned, Ivanyi held open the door for her.

"She had this funny look on her face," Ivanyi recalled. "And the other kids giggled a little."

Soon, however, Ivanyi was schooling the 10th-grade boys on how to seat their female counterparts at their desks, by pulling out their chair and sliding it underneath them as they sat. As a show of respect, the boys were encouraged to stand any time a girl entered the room.

Behavior that was once utterly foreign has become routine. "Ninety-eight percent of the boys stand now when a girl enters the room, and the girls love it," Ivanyi said.

As a result of the emphasis on politeness, the overall mood in the classroom has changed markedly.

"There's a different tenor in the class, a gravity attached to the girls. They've been more feminized in the boys' eyes," Ivanyi said. "These girls are reading Jane Austen novels in class. For them, chivalry hasn't gone out of style."
Cord Ivanyi
Courtesy of Cord Ivanyi
Cord Ivanyi, seen here with his dog, Toby, said that he started incorporating etiquette lessons in response to what he felt was a distressing lack of civility in his classroom.

Melissa Leonard, an etiquette instructor in New York for the past 13 years, applauds Ivanyi's efforts. "I think it's great if it's practical etiquette instead of the white-glove, snobby kind."

Leonard argues that learning proper manners helps kids navigate a variety of social situations. Sadly, too few have an understanding of the basics.

"There are some fundamental rules that are important for kids to learn, like looking someone in the eye when talking to them," Leonard said. "And there can be a role for the school to play, especially if etiquette isn't being taught at home."

But is teaching gender-specific etiquette perpetuating what some consider sexist traditions?

Gilbert Classical Principal Brian Rosta stresses that the emphasis Ivanyi places on social graces is not an official part of the school's curriculum.

Rosta has no plans to expand the politeness training, but he is a firm believer that schools can play a vital role in teaching manners.

"We often use the Latin phrase in loco parentis, 'in place of parents,' and sometimes we find that we need to fill the gaps that parents miss," Rosta said. "If there are any life skills our teachers can help with, I encourage that."

What's more, the parents of the students in Ivanyi's class don't seem to mind, either.

"The only negative thing I've heard are parents calling to make sure that their daughters say 'thank you' to the boys," Rosta said.

http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/arizona-teacher-adds-etiquette-to-lessons/19355240?icid=main|aim|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolnews.com%2Fnation%2Farticle%2Farizona-teacher-adds-etiquette-to-lessons%2F19355240`

I thought this was a lost art for sure.

A lost art?

Women want equality why should the boys treat them different than the way they treat other boys?

How much ya wanna bet that, at some point in the near future, the ACLU sues the school because the teacher might have some students whose religion dictates that women are inferior to men.

I'm waiting on the lawsuit for sexual discrimination...

Yes, most of the women out there like this kind of treatment, but some see it as saying 'You can't do this on your own, so let me do it for you.' It's so sad that simple kindness can be seen in such a poor light by some people!

Have to agree with you on this.

And really, while the girls may be saying Thank you to the guys, and hopefully meaning it, one would think there does need to be a bit more balance in teaching respect back to the boys.

What does equality have to do with manners and respect... there sure are some confused and misguided ideas about equal rights and the treatment of women. No wonder so many men are still single.

Maybe you didn't read what you wrote before you hit the button..you may want to re read and think about it! doh

If its optional and not mandatory, I dont see any lawsuit happening. I think its great for kids to learn manners and that gender differences are ok.

You really want old fashioned? Victorian era or Colonial? Take your pick. Read about how women had to act back then. Women are fortunate to have what they do today, I don't think they want to return to the old ways. I'd love to see the schools try to pull this stunt in Los Angeles or Philadelphia. Let me know how it goes.

Nobody wants "old fashioned"...life moves not backwards nor tarries for yesterday. There is nothing wrong with this type of program as long as it is optional. Women are fortunate..to have human basic rights as being treated respectfully.
Yes, maybe so, shame it took a couple hundred years. It's going to continue to evolve..were not done yet! Hell, were just getting started.

I think as far back as my parents is good enough. Men were more encouraged to provide and women were more encouraged to nurture and if either of them were talented in BOTH areas,,,,watch out. But the gender differences were respected and appreciated. We didnt have to be the same to be equal.

Good for this teacher.I was also raised that way and I still open doors for women and give up my seat for them if I am riding a bus or a train.It really makes their day and I get nice complements from them.Once in a while I open a door for a girl and she gives me a dirty look and says "I can do that myself".One time I was riding a crowded bus and this lady asked this man sitting if he wouldn't mind giving up his seat for her.He said "thats what woman rights gets your a**" and got back to reading his paper.I couldn't help but to start laughing like most of the people around us did.

I know what I wrote!

School isn't the place to learn manners and respect! That's for reading, writing, math, science, and history etc....

Somewhere along the lines manners and respect got lost at home where it should be taught!

school is indeed the place to re inforce manners and social skills. People forget that school also is for PREPARING children for the world, not just reading books, but also how to successfully work with others.

Since when isn't school a place to learn manners and respect? It was when I was growing up. We learned to get along with others. Don't you think that's important out in the real world?

Look at the statistics on where our children stand comapred to other countries.
Teachers have a hard enough time teaching the basics why add more for them to do when manners and respect should be taught at home BY THE PARENTS! Then maybe students could learn more of what they need in life.

I used to work as a teaching assistant for a second grade class. There was one child who did not respect anyone most of the time. He always acted out, always talked back to the teachers. Always gave the other kids a hard time about things. It disrupted the class. When parents fail to make sure their kids have manners and respect others, it affects others. Are the teachers just supposed to let that type of behavior go because you don't think manners and respect should be taught in school?

It's not a bad idea for the schools to teach etiquette, but unless the parents reinforce it, it won't be effective. It does need to start at home. Too many parents these days want everyone else to do their jobs for them.

I agree, it does START at home, but school is a great environment to Re inforce it.

I agree. In other words, it seems to be backwards. It starts at home and the school can help reinforce it. Not that they teach it and the parents think that is good enough

Only one problem with this... who's going to teach all those parent's who never bothered to learn?