Every time I go to an NA or AA meeting I wonder if it's better to live in misery or die in ecstasy.

Every time I go to a NA or AA meeting I get recharged. Some of our members go to both groups. Our daily reading from AA 'Daily Reflections" tonight was about hope. We try to share our strength, experience and hope at the meetings. One member told me tonight that hope was very important to his recovery. He said he had hope from his experiences with the courts and being incarcerated. He said he has felt stronger from going to the meetings and seeing others like him recover. It lets him know that there is hope for him because we all share our different experiences and strength with the newcomers. He has let me know that it is a lot cheaper and less time consuming in learning from others' mistakes without having to make those same mistakes himself. I hope your day is good.

On July 15th this year I will be free of cocaine for 25years.

I don't care to much for the meetings, they just didn't work for me.

The thing that worked for me is, I want to live and be free

And the AWESOME network of friends and family that I have been

blessed to know.

Christ - I'm sure there are a bunch of addicts not saying ****.

I'm wondering how life got better for the completely sober. I am.
Not completely sober. I am wondering.

Wandering in wondering and wondering why nobody is wandering through this forum more frequently when it's easier to post than to go to a meeting.

Cheers on the sobriety, though - seriously. Coke's a killer, and one close to my heart. Not literally anymore... but I've seen people struggle with the addiction.

I think that is cool that it worked for you. One topic we had at last meeting of our small group called the "Get Help Inside" group was the fear one lady had of having to take prescriptions drugs given to her by her doctor and that she is an addict. She said she didn't like the 'medicine head" condition. She liked the idea that our meeting is a lot closer to where she lives. What we get as far as members go now are people who are court-order by the drug court to have their meetings papers signed. At our particular group we read all the material read in most NA groups and the one she was going to they don't. Another member said that was the 'structure' she was looking for and why she didn't like going to the other meeting like that other member was referring to. So our little group is growing at the local level. Some member who are required to go as a condition of their parole and/or by the local treatment center. I get to meet addicts this way that I wouldn't normally get to meet even some of them come and go. At one of my first meetings while still in treatment while I admitted at that time that I was a huffer was what could be a stereotype of different kinds of addictions. Anyway I told this addict who was we called a 'needle freak' that his addiction scared me. I told him that his drug went straight to his heart. He told me that my addiction scared him because it went straight to my brain. I then learned in NA from the passage, "We don't care what your addiction is or how much or how little but how that we can help." I thought that was cool. We talk a lot about the insanity of the disease. I can remember one addict saying at a meeting that he had a disease that tells him that he doesn't have a disease. That helped me to get past a lot of denial. It was like my disease was fighting for its life. I don't think the meetings are the only way to get off drugs. I have had friends who have had the good sense to get off the stuff without them. And I guess for some people drugs are not a problem. I have heard some addicts say that they don't have a drug problem today but a living problem.

Finally we got our group starter kit. We had to bypass the regional and go directly to NA.org but we got the NAWay magazine. Neat article there in the January edition called the "Tale of two key tags". We got our meeting on the correctional facilities wall and envited into a treatment center. We got a bunch of brochures and two NA books. Got to talk to our local treatment center and they want a representative to represent NA as they already have a representative of AA. A H&I committee might be in our future because a representative of AA at the local level said we could help hospitals and institutions. Got a member to accept that marijuana is a gateway drug where before he didn't. Explained to him that you don't separate key tags for marijuana and meth. Four months off meth and two weeks off marijuana still only equals two weeks. He agreed to the math. The little group is getting help from all over.

Our little group is picking up on membership. Got to give away a six month key tag and a 24 hour key tag, today. One reoccuring topic we seem to be getting is about addicts worrying about taking their medications because they are addicts. I try to tell them what it says on the back of the medallions and that is, "To thy ownself be true." If you are taking the medications prescribed by a doctor then by all means take them as that is different than using drugs by self-prescribing just to get high. My friend on Valium and Lithium has to have it according to his doctor. I am glad he has moved closer to town so he can make the meetings. One of our mottos is; "An addict alone is in bad company because he is with the last person he used with."

That's so cool about your group. I hope it keeps going for all of you.

When I have to see a "doctor", the first thing I tell them is of my addictive nature. I WILL NOT take addictive drugs, even if "doctor" tells me to. I have argued with a few "doctors" about this one. To me, there is no difference between cocaine and vicodin. They can both kill ya just as dead.

I am so proud of all of you on here. I have been close to people who have fought addictions. It's a daily battle. God bless you for sharing your personal experiences and battling your demons. I wish you many blessings, love, and peace. I will say a special prayer for you all tonight.

Jen

Thanks Jen

Yeah. We can use all the prayers we can get. I would agree with ya, Kayak. In the one case about the member on Valium and Lithium the member has to see a Parole Officer to have a regular UA done. It aggravates the member so I would say that he should be honest with his doctor because I am sure he could get a medication that isn't addictive and get him back on good terms with his Parole Officer. I am surprised that his Parole Officer hasn't been in contact with his doctor.

My pidgeon didn't want me to pick him up, tonight. Said he was having trouble at home. Was nice of him to let me know he didn't need a ride so I didn't have to go out of my way to pick him up. Four of us there; Three women and me. Want to get some more styrofoam cups and paper towels for the meeting when I get paid. We have been using the church's and I know they need theirs.

So true, but the main issue is cost. Mental health is as important as physical....yet alot of insurance carriers make you pay a arm and a leg and the gp's don't want to touch it. The brain is so delicate, have seen people scared off by being rxed inappropriate meds. Thats what I call sad.

We had that happened at our nursing home, Shasta. One of our good nurses was looking at the adl sheets and noted all the symptoms that the doctor had noted matched all of the side affects of the medicine the residents was prescribed. Of course, you know the doctors prescribes and the nurse administers. Thanks to the nurse the residents medicine was changed and as a CNA I could tell the difference of the resident by the resident's behavior. It was like it is so nice to see you Dr. Jeckyll as I like you a lot better than Mr. Hyde. I got to give an addict some money to get some oil for his car. It made me feel good because one thing that he said was a trigger for him as a relapse was being poor because he could always make money selling meth. He said he had a resentment that he couldn't successfully use without winding back in prison. He admitted to me that making money legally is a challenge but he has enjoyed working.

I totally agree.

Got to go the DEF meeting, tonight. She had the DEF before we had the GHI. She had the DEF just after the ABC. The 'A Brighter Change' group hasn't met in a while but the 'Don't Ever Forget' is still growing strong. The leader of the DEF said she would come to our 'Get Help Inside' group this Wednesday. I was happy to learn that she will soon be able graduate drug court. She said she was going to have a party when she graduates and invited us tonight when she graduates. I know it has been a hard struggle for her. She had to contend with doing her community service so that she had to take off work to do the community service. They were first wanting her to do her community service then they wanted her to get a job. Taking time off from working to do community seems crazy to me but I am glad I am not the one who makes the rules.

It may be easier to post than go to a meeting But, I don't see how posting on a message board alone will keep any person clean from drugs. I use message boards as a supplement to meetings. But, the meetings, sponsorship, etc are what keeps me going. I generally don't post on boards such as this where it's more visible to those who doesn't understand & can be judgmental. So,I use boards that are set up for that purpose. I may drop in & read here from time to time but don't post often on this subject unless something really stands out & get's my attention.

I just want to wish you all

Good Luck!!!

No matter how ya do it!!!!

All my love and respect!!


Tammy

Thanks, Tammy. My boarder who I took has to make one meeting a week. So I asked her if she will take over the Saturday meeting and she said she would. I work third shift and a 1pm meeting has me coming to the meeting half awake. She is going to make it an all women's meeting which will be cool for her and her friends. Some of them have to get their papers signed like her. Another one of my lady friends has a lot of time in the program and they have decided to do shares on chairing the meetings. Which is good because some of the ladies have busy schedules. And some of the women just feel more comfortable just having women there. It makes me happy because I am worried about my boarder isolating so much. It was a problem I had with isolating and I can tell when members isolate. I am sure it bring my boarder out of her cocoon and I know it bring up her self-esteem at the same time. Service work is also just chairing the meetings. I think they all have it figured out.